The Red Side of a Blue Moon
by Noy Telin'u
Summary: A Ranma 1/2 Sailor Moon fusion of epicly epic proportions! Why? Because Akane is Sailor Moon! And she's crazy! And WHY is THAT! Because her sisters Ami and Michiru make her feel inadequate, thus, forcing her to turn to the life of martial arts and watching too much tv. With fictional figures such as Konata and Haruhi as her role models, this Sailor Senshi WILL be special...
1. Prologue

The **Red** Side of a **Blue** _**Moon**_

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** fanfiction can make you do crazy things, so please, do not kill the person you're urged to kill for no reason after reading this. Cuz that's how John Lennon died… how the hell did the Catcher in the Rye do that anyway? It's not even that bad! Even I can make something more vulgar… and I'm the Text!

**Fusion:** fall is a great game… or so I've been told… They should add Sailor Moon and Ranma ½ to it…

**Caution:** canon is screwed cuz Noy played fusion fall… not really… but… yeah… so some characters don't make it…

**Thanks!:** to tuatara, who begged for this, Fukufics, for answering questions, and Noy Telinú, for giving me, the Text, life just so that I can be crazy! ^_^

You have been warned…

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**Prologue: MOOOOOOOON!**

A long time ago, before the dark times, before the internet…

There was a moon orbiting around the third planet in the Sol system in the galaxy Milky Way. On that moon was a kingdom, a kingdom on the moon. Though, oddly enough, there was no king. Rather, a queen ruled the moon.

Unfortunately, due to some family… issues… the queendom (because it can't really be a kingdom without a king… really) was destroyed and forgotten by the people of Earth.

However, because of a little thing called MAGIC, a new kingdom (or queendom) may rise from the ashes of that little family feud thousands of years into the future….

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Meanwhile, in the _future_…

"I wish our neighbors would stop blasting that music everyday…" Akane sighed as she walked to school with her sisters.

"Now, now, little sister, you just fail to appreciate the arts," her eldest sister Michiru replied, smiling. "I feel that it brings excitement to our journey to school."

"Speaking of school, did you finish your homework, Akane?" Ami asked politely.

Akane threw her arms in the air. "Yes, yes, of course I did! Just because you're the genius twin doesn't make me an idiot!"

Michiru tried to not laugh, her hand moving in front of her mouth failing to prevent it. "Little sister… she wouldn't ask everyday if she didn't care… plus, you forgot your math homework on the table this morning."

Akane let out a groan and smacked her forehead.

Michiru shook her head and gave the missing homework to Akane.

"I hate being the stupid one," Akane mumbled.

"Oh, you're not stupid, just… a bit forgetful…" Ami tried to help. "Besides, after hours upon hours of training with Father it can be difficult to remember your homework…"

Akane let out a sigh. "I guess. *sigh* Too bad he won't push my abilities… I want to get better, but…"

"Nyrall…" went a cat.

The three sisters turned to see a black cat scratching its head in the alley… covered in BLOOD.

While her two older sisters wore shocked faces, Akane rolled her eyes in annoyance and approached the cat.

"Honestly! Who would beat up a cat?" Akane bent down to the cat's level. "Here, let me get that, kitty…"

Akane then pulled off the bandage that was irritating the cat.

"Um… Akane… you aren't thinking of bringing that cat home, are you?" Ami took a deep breath. "Remember the last time you tried to keep a pet?"

Michiru rubbed her forehead. "**I **remember. That dog almost broke my violin."

"I SAID I was sorry!" Akane yelled. "But I can't leave a cat this beaten up on its own…"

That's when Akane noticed that the cat was nowhere to be seen.

"Come on, you two, we have school to go to," Michiru stated as she continued along.

The twins sighed. "Yes, honorable big sister…"

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"I still think you were a bit harsher today with the morning fight…" Ami commented as she walked home with her twin.

Akane snorted. "Fine. Yes, I was… but they deserved it! At least big sis's boyfriend knew when to stop… Honestly! Hitting on his girlfriend's sister! I'm surprise big sis didn't pound him into the ground!"

"That's your answer to everything…" Ami sighed.

"I still don't like him… and if he gets her pregnant…" Akane shook her fist.

'No chance of THAT happening.' Ami held back a smile. "Don't worry about it. Big sister has… odd ways to punish Haruka…"

"At least he doesn't grope me…" Akane mumbled. "What does she see in him, anyway?"

Ami smiled, knowingly. "Oh, just something no other man can give her-"

*Crack* A tree branch snapped.

"YEOWLL!" came from above.

The blue-haired twins looked up, only to see a black cat come falling down right at Akane.

*CRASH* The tree branch hit Akane in the head the same time the cat reached her.

Akane lay there, giant, pinkish welt on her head, and cat nowhere to be seen.

"'Kane! 'Kane, are you alright?" Ami asked, kneeling over her injured twin.

"Hey… there are three of you…" Akane slurred. "Are we five…ets? Where'd kitty…?"

"Oh no, you're delirious!" Ami gently touched Akane's giant pink welt. "Stay still, I think I have some medical supplies in my bag…"

"But Doctor… I like the kitty… I want a kitty…" Akane said, cross-eyed.

"That should do it." Ami dusted off her hands when she was finished bandaging her twin. "How many fingers do I have?"

"Six…" Akane answered, still hallucinating.

"Oh, this is bad…" Ami looked at the giant tree branch that fell on Akane. "Good thing we're almost home."

"But the kitty is my friend…" Akane spewed.

Ami shook her head and dragged Akane home.

It was only after getting Akane comfortable that Ami noticed that their father wasn't home.

Shrugging, Ami sat next to her twin, watching over her.

'Nothing else looks bad…' Ami observed. 'Just her head… and that her breasts are moving- wait a minute…'

Just then, a black cat popped out from between Akane's breasts and meowed in a British accent (but in Japanese for some reason).

Unsurprisingly, it was picked up relatively easily by Ami.

"You've caused a lot of trouble today…" Ami looked between the cat's legs. "Miss Cat. And you still look terrible. What an odd looking scar…"

Ami took a look at Akane, not noticing that the cat was as well. Seeing her twin asleep, Ami carried the odd black cat to the bathroom to wash her up.

Moments later, Michiru came through the door.

"Akane?" The oldest Tendo daughter worriedly kneeled beside the unconscious girl. "What happened to you?"

After brushing the unconscious girl's hair aside, Michiru left for the kitchen.

Moments later, she came back with some tea and a washcloth as she cared for her sister.

"Honorable older sister…" Ami addressed Michiru as the younger girl came back from the bathroom. "Akane was hit by a falling tree branch, caused by this cat."

The cat in question looked nervous as she gazed at Michiru. "Nyra?"

"Oh, my head…" Akane spoke suddenly. "What happened?"

Both sisters sighed in relief.

Ami gave Akane the cat. "This little thing caused a large branch to fall on you. You were hit pretty badly, but at least the swelling has gone down."

Akane stared at the cat as she held it away from her. "Hey… you're that cat from earlier… the one with that bald spot under the bandage…"

'I thought that cat looked familiar…" Michiru tapped her chin. "It seems to have followed you…"

Akane smiled. "Are you following me?"

The cat seemed to hesitate, eyes darting back and forth. "Nyra!"

'Odd… mighty odd…' Ami observed silently.

"Oh, you're so cute!" Akane turned towards Michiru. "Can we keep it?"

Michiru bit her lip. "I don't know… Father might disapprove after that last cat incident…"

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" Akane defended, loudly. "Besides, none of the koi were eaten…"

"Barely…" Ami added.

After a moment to think it over, Michiru nodded.

"Yes!" Akane squeezed her new cat. "I won't let you down THIS time! Now… a name… hmmm…"

"Akane! You're choking the poor girl!" Ami said in alarm.

Akane eased up, embarrassed. "Sorry! Um… hmmm… how about Kitty?"

The cat shook her head venomously.

"She doesn't seem to like it…" Ami stated the obvious.

"How about… C-chan?" Akane stated.

The cat facepalmed.

"That's a horrible name, little sister!" Michiru exclaimed.

"Um… you do have that weird mark on your head… Moonie?" Akane asked.

The cat sighed, head lowered.

"Nyan?" Akane pleaded.

The cat shook her head.

"Poptart?" Akane sweated.

The cat double facepalmed.

Ami couldn't take it. "How about Luna?"

"Luna?" the other girls asked, confused.

"It's Latin for moon… it's one of my 3 language courses this year…" Ami answered.

Luna nodded.

"Guess she likes it…" Akane mused. "See ya, bye!"

And with that the blue-haired twin with long hair dashed off to her room.

"… Sometimes I'm glad I'm the older one, even if it's just by a few minutes…" Ami sighed. "I can't image having to ask her for help with my homework."

"There, there…" Michiru hugged Ami. "Our Akane is just… has different… skills…"

"I know. You're right…." Ami sighed again. "I just hope it didn't give her brain damage."

Michiru smiled. "Why, never! Doctor Ami would NEVER EVER allow her patient to have brain damage under her watch."

Ami smiled as well.

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That night, while everyone else was asleep, Luna patted Akane on the nose.

"Psst! Akane!" the cat spoke with a British accent in Japanese… for some reason.

Akane grumbled and turned her head.

"Akane!" Luna called louder, pawing her face.

"Nwhuhruhuh…" Akane turned again.

"Akane!" Luna tried shaking her.

*WHAM!* Luna flew across the room and into the wall.

"Ow…" The cat flopped down.

All of this and Akane still slept.

'What's WITH this girl?' Luna rubbed her head in annoyance… and pain.

"*zzz* My pony… it's mine… no… touchy…" Akane sleep talked.

Luna rolled her eyes and in doing so, saw a water bottle on the ground.

After thinking it over for five minutes, she sighed and picked it up… somehow.

*TWAP* Luna used water bottle to the face.

"OW!" Akane woke up suddenly.

It's super effective!

"Finally, you're awake…" Luna jumped onto the bed. "Now, I'm-"

Akane interrupted the cat by grabbing her by the scruff of her neck.

"Why did you throw that water bottle at me?" Akane narrowed her eyes.

"Wait, why are you so calm about me speaking?" Luna questioned.

"…" Akane blinked. "Um… this isn't a dream, is it?"

Luna shook her head.

"AHHHHhh! OK, I'm good…" the blue-haired girl half screamed. "Wait… you can talk… and you're a cat… that means magic… magic cat… I'm A MAGIC GIRL!"

Akane enveloped Luna in a bone-crushing hug, giggling madly.

That's when the door opened to reveal two bed-haired sisters.

"Little sister, it's 3 in the morning…" Michiru groaned, obviously tired.

Ami barely kept her eyes open. "Why can't you let me sleep?"

"Um…" Akane's eyes darted all over. "… No-thing… heh, heh… Sorry."

Both sisters glared at her.

"What? Don't blame me!" Akane yelled. "Luna threw a water bottle at my face!"

Everyone looked at Luna, who was trying just to breathe again.

"Nyan?" Luna spewed pathetically.

Suddenly, Akane shook the kitty.

"DON'T **NYAN** ME! YOU WERE TALKING EARLIER! DON'T THINK I DIDN'T HEAR THAT!" Akane screamed.

Luna didn't say anything.

Ami sighed. "Akane, it's scientifically impossible for cats to speak a human language. The amount of stress on the vocal cords in even attempting such a feat is too much. They aren't even shaped the right way. Not to mention their mouth shape wouldn't work…"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah… but she's a **magic cat**! She talked! I know it! Say something, Luna!"

"Nyan?" Luna answered.

Akane snapped. "Oh, you JERK! I WILL MAKE YOU TALK!"

The two older Tendos raised their eyebrows as Akane carried Luna into the kitchen.

"Oh no…" Michiru failed to hold back a groan. "Akane, you've tortured enough animals in your lifetime…"

"Well, THIS one is magical!" Akane retorted.

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Soon they all gathered around Luna as she was strapped to a wooden board on the kitchen counter.

"Alright Luna, talk!" Akane threatened.

"Nyan…" Luna held firm. '**What the bloody hell is she doing?**'

Akane had filled up a squirt gun and aimed it at Luna's tiny cat head.

"**Talk,**" Akane threatened.

Luna kept quiet.

"Little sister, this is ridiculous." Michiru rubbed her eyes. "Let the cat go…"

"NO!" Akane yelled. "I WILL **NOT** BE CHEATED OUT OF BECOMING A MAGIC GIRL!"

Ami swayed on her feet, exhausted. "'Kane… magic girl?"

Akane's eye twitched as a tear fell from it. "THAT'S IT! LUNA, TALK!"

Luna's eyes widened but she didn't say a word.

*Splash* Akane squirted Luna.

'AHH! Cold!' Luna shivered, but bit her lip to not say anything.

"TALK!" Akane yelled.

Luna closed her eyes and continued to be silent.

*Splash* Another shot from the squirt gun hit Luna in the face.

Once again, she kept silent.

Michuru sighed. "That's enough, Akane. Let's go to bed…"

"NOO! TALK! TALK, YOU DUMB CAT!" Akane cried.

Her sisters grabbed her arms to drag her away…

"**NOO! I WON'T BE CHEATED OUT OF THIS! I'M SPECIAL! I'M SPECIAL!**" Tears flowed from Akane's eyes like a true Tendo.

"Quiet, little sister…" Michiru yawned.

"**NOO! NOOOOOOO! TALK! TALK! I… I COMMAND YOU! TALK, YOU EVIL MAGIC CAT!**" Akane was dragged away, partially because she didn't want to hurt her sisters, and partially because she was emotionally wrecked.

Luna looked away, not able to gaze into Akane's eyes any longer.

'She's mad! Mad, I say!' Luna thought to herself. 'Keeping this a secret will be harder than I thought.'

Eventually, she was released from her bonds and taken by Ami to her room.

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Luna snuck back into Akane's room after Ami was asleep, only experiencing a little frustration with the doorknobs.

The black cat got onto Akane's bed where she saw the girl curled up in a fetal position.

"… Akane…" Luna sighed.

"What?" Akane asked softly. "Am I imagining things now? Look, cat, I'm sorry for what I did… I… I guess I was so excited about being a magic girl… Oh, who am I kidding, why would I be a magic girl? You're probably here to make me do something stupid, like help you find some REAL magic girls or be a catgirl… or something else demeaning. I get it."

"Huh?" Luna tilted her head.

"It's just… being a magic girl was something I was looking forward to… But why would I be one? I'm not feminine enough like my sisters," Akane sighed. "Both of them can cook, they sew their own clothes, one is a champion swimmer, the other is already a world-renowned violinist…"

"Akane…" Luna shook her head. "I'm not here for them…"

"But me?" Akane curled up tighter. "I can't cook or sew… I sink like a rock, I can't do anything right, my twin sister is a super genius and the other has a boyfriend—that I hate—who is one of the most popular boys in school."

Luna blinked twice. "You want a boyfriend?"

"Yeah… no… maybe… I don't know, who cares?" Akane sighed. "All I'm good at is martial arts and even then I'm not that good. I know Kuno is holding back, Dad won't teach me what I need, and all I do is beat up stupid boys."

"Look, I'm here because of you, because of what I saw this morning…" Luna started.

"If you want to complain, go ahead, I deserve it." Akane wound up tighter. "I probably even killed your mom or something. That's all I am, an animal killer and someone who beats people up…"

Luna sighed. "I'm going to explain this carefully… but you can't tell anyone. It's why I kept quiet; no one else can know."

Silent tears rolled down Akane's face. "Being an errand girl for a cat is great… the best part is… you can't tell anyone! Yay! Is that sarcastic enough for you? It's not like I'm going to be a magic girl anyway… They're graceful and nice to animals… they don't get mad easy or torture cats. Why not get my twin, Ami? She's a super genius nice girl. Or Michiru? She's been caring for us for ten years and rarely raises her voice. Real Japanese girls… Not someone like me…"

Luna lowered her head. "Akane… this is for you, not your sisters. It's you. When I saw you plow through the boys at school, I saw the mark of the moon on your forehead…"

"Yeah, that happens sometimes when I'm mad," Akane explained with a sigh. "My friends joke about it at school. I mean, honestly… red, moon, with a cloud family and blue hair? How weird is that? But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything!" Luna exclaimed. "You're Sailor Moon!"

"Sailing what on the moon?" Akane looked up, confused.

"No, no, no… it's…" Luna sighed. "Hang on a second."

Luna backflipped and out popped into existence a weird golden brooch… thing…

Akane squatted on her bed like a detective and picked it up. "Well, I know for sure that you're magical now…"

Luna nodded. "Just say {Moon Prism Power!} and you'll transform."

"…" Akane looked at her blankly. "Can you repeat that? I'm not the best English speaker…"

Luna sighed. {Moon Prism Power!}

"…" Akane blinked. "Why is it in English, anyway?"

"I don't know. My memory is Swiss cheese at the moment." Luna shrugged.

"Oookaay…" Akane let out her breath. {Moon Prism Power!}

In 1.17 seconds, Akane transformed.

"I feel weird…" Akane look at herself in her mirror.

In the reflection stood Akane in a sailor senshi fuku, the bow in her long hair was 93% larger, and there was a mask on her face.

"Wow… I really am a magic girl…" Akane was stunned, shocked, in disbelief.

Luna smiled as Akane checked herself out. "I'm glad you like it…"

*GLOMP* Luna was soon in Akane's arms.

"Thankyou-thankyou-Luna-thankyou!" Akane blurted.

Luna had trouble breathing. "You're… welcome… *gasp* Please… let… go."

"Hmm? Oops! Sorrysorrysorry!" Akane let Luna go.

"I… *cough* Hak ACCK!" Luna let out a hairball. "*clears throat* Sorry about that… I forgive you… After all, we…"

Akane cut her off. "Butitsmyfault! Itorturedyouanddidn'tbelievethemagicgirlthing! Sorrysorrysorry!"

"Relax… I forgive you…" Luna coughed again, still not moving her body. "We were all sleep deprived."

"If you say so…" Akane looked down and frowned. "Just one thing… WHY IS THE SKIRT SO SHORT?"

"…" Luna blink-blinked. "I don't know. Swiss cheese memory, remember?"

"But it's so short!" Akane tried to pull it down some. "It's stupid! People will see my underwear! Why?"

"Well, um… it's because… it's a magic skirt…?" Luna guessed.

"But people will still see it!" Akane growled.

"Umm… that's why you, um… have… err… you're not wearing underwear right now." Luna sweated.

"**WHAT?**" Akane checked herself in panic.

"Yeah… you have instead… uh… a leotard of… power!" Luna smiled nervously.

Akane found out that she WAS in a leotard with a pathetic excuse for a skirt. "Still stupid…"

"It is what it is…" Luna sighed.

"I guess…" Akane looked in the mirror once again. "At least no one will recognize me with this mask on."

"True, but you also have disguise magic making it nearly impossible to be recognized," Luna added.

Akane snorted. "Yeah, right. Who's stupid enough to fall for that?"

"It's not supposed to be stupid!" Luna got up on her feet again.

Akane shook her head. "Doesn't matter, got mask. Well, I'm off to go rub this in my sisters' faces, care to join me?"

"What? No! Akane, they can't know!" Luna pleaded.

"Why not?" Akane placed her hands on her hips.

"Because they'll be in danger!" Luna responded.

Akane slumped. "I… but… it… magic girl… How am I going to be better than my sisters if I can't let them know?"

"It's the burden of being a magic girl…" Luna sighed in relief.

Akane sighed and sat on her bed.

Luna curled up in Akane's lap, tired.

Moments passed by. Luna was almost asleep when…

"Wait a second… I'm a magic girl… I can handle anything coming my way! Why should I hide this from my sisters?" Akane got up, taking Luna with her. "Magic Girl Akane will save the day!"

Luna's eyes shot open. "No! No! You can't do that!"

"Yes, I can!" Akane gleefully shouted as she left her room. "I'm Akane… uh…"

"… Sailor Moon…" Luna sweatdropped.

Akane smirked. "I'm Sailor Moon, magical girl extraordinaire! What could possibly go wro- nevermind…" 'Whew… that was close…'

"Don't do this…" Luna warned.

"Too late!" Akane smiled as she opened Ami's door….

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**Author's notes:** Now, this one was crazy… apparently, my bosses came up and wrote this when tuatara asked about Eris, the Sailor Discord, and they answered with admitting that they don't know enough to write it. Things continued and this popped up. "What if Akane was Sailor Moon?" thus a fusion was made. I blame the drawing of Akane and Ami looking alike at Deviantart for a lot of the ideas here. To smash things up better, Akane became the younger twin of Ami and it was decided to have Michiru as the oldest sister all due to hair color. Seriously. Now, I've been told to tell you a few things.

First, yes Akane's characterization is different. It had to in order to make sense. In canon, Akane had an angel and a demon for sisters, neither of them out of the ordinary or extraordinary. Akane wanted to be more like Kasumi because of Dr. Tofu. She got her way most of the time and thought very highly of herself due to beating everyone daily and being as popular as she was. However, if instead of two ordinary sisters, you had a genius twin and a prodigy violinist as sisters; you wouldn't feel so great, would you? This Akane has been overshadowed by awesome her whole life. Of course she will behave differently and feel inadequate. Thus, the "I want to be special" thinking. Ami is a bit different too; she has family that she sees all the time, allowing her to not be as alone and with Akane as her twin, knows how to speak her mind, unafraid of losing a friend. Michiru, with her taking care of everyone responsibilities, isn't as quick to anger and isn't as pessimistic. With these daughters, Soun isn't worried about them doing well, except for getting hurt. With Akane going crazy to be special, he also can take nearly anything calmly… until there's a chance someone can be hurt. He is a bit more responsible and level headed due to it.

Second, everyone from SM moved up in age so that it makes sense. Besides, having them older will make them more responsible… sort of. Michiru is 13 months older than the twins and is in the second year of high school.

Thirdly, Nerima is used to the crazy. Therefore, more genre savvy and will be able to piece together things much better than in other parts of Tokyo. I'm unsure if Naru (It's Molly…) will show up, but everyone else normal at that school won't.

That is all, see you soon, for I am the Text!


	2. She is the one Sailor Moon!

The **Red** Side of a **Blue** _**Moon**_

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** this fic is very unconventional… I mean, Akane as Sailor Moon? What the?

**Fusion:** fall of Ranma ½ and Sailor Moon. Noy did not play fusion fall, it's just the first thing that comes to mind when we hear fusion. Yeah…

**Thank you:** tuatara for pushing this. And I mean really push this. Noy had to research a ton of Sailor Moon for this. Telinú laughs about it…

**Reviews:** I have a bad feeling about this. Nys, aw, why not? This Akane is CRAZY! Not to mention gets hurt... a better person too... authority02, Michiru is a bit mean, yes, have you had an older sister? Luna is canon... mostly, I think. And Ami's line is fixed. Screaming Dean, YAY! luger 7, I like parties... Aceina, maybe... maybe... maybe... oh that's easy, egg. Dinosaur eggs...

**Read on:** cuz I'm the Text! Read on, because it's what's next! Read on! Read On! READ ON! Dun, dun, dun, dundundundundun…

You have been warned...

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**Chapter 1: She is the one… Sailor Moon!**

Ami grumbled as she tried to sleep.

'Stop making so much noise.' Ami fluffed her pillow over her ears.

Much to her dismay, the sounds grew louder and louder, until it was right outside her bedroom door.

Having had enough, Ami got out of bed and walked like a zombie to her door.

When suddenly…

*Swoosh* Akane stood there in all her magic girl glory with Luna struggling in her arms.

"…" Akane was surprised to see Ami up.

"…" Ami could barely see.

"…" Luna fretted, worried about the whole thing.

Seconds ticked by as the twins looked at each other.

Until finally…

"'Kane, go to bed. And stop making noise. I'm tired," Ami spoke and closed the door.

"…" Akane was speechless.

"…" Luna didn't know what to think.

The door opened again.

"Oh, and please take off that… whatever that is. Dressing up as a magic girl doesn't make you one." Ami closed the door again.

Luna sighed in relief.

Akane fumed. "How did she recognize me? I have a mask on!"

"I don't know." Luna shrugged. "Wait, aren't you twins?"

"Fraternal, but we LOOK nearly identical. That's why I grew my hair out." Akane turned towards Luna. "I TOLD you the magic disguise thing was stupid!"

"Maybe because you're twins…." Luna tilted her head.

"Good idea, let's test it." Akane smirked and headed towards Michiru's room.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Michiru's door opened to reveal Sailor Akane… Moon… looking heroic… with Luna facepalming.

Michiru was getting dressed, much to her misfortune. "… Who are you and why are you in my room?"

"You don't recognize me?" Akane asked, striking a pose.

"… No. Are you one of Haruka's friends spying on me?"

"How about NOW?" Akane removed her mask.

"…" Michiru looked her over. "Get out of my house, whoever you are."

"Wow, you're calm." Akane tilted your head. "Big sister, it's me! Akane!"

Suddenly, Michiru was able to recognize Akane's face for some reason. "Alright. What is with the get up?"

"Imma magic girl!" Akane had a huge smile on her face, eyes wide open.

"… Go to bed, little sister," Michiru ordered. "And get out of that costume."

"But I… oh, I… ARRGGG!" Akane stomped away.

Michiru rubbed her eyes. 'Man, I'm still sleepy… I couldn't even recognize my sister's face for a minute.'

Still, the green-bluish-haired girl shrugged and finished dressing.

'I'm cutting it close today…' Michiru grabbed her violin and headed for the koi pond. 'The sun will be coming up soon….'

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

'Why won't she believe that I'm a magic girl? ARGGG!' Akane clenched her head. "Honestly! What's with her?"

Luna sighed sadly. "They are not going to believe you… Now, go to sleep for an hour or so. Alright? No need to try and prove it to them."

Akane grumbled.

"Akane… just drop it," Luna begged.

The girl wavered. "… Oh… alright…"

"Good," Luna sighed in relief. 'At least there was no other trouble tonight…'

"… But how do you take this thing off?" Akane questioned.

"…" replied Luna.

"Luna? How do I take this off? Luna? Hello? You better have not fallen asleep!" Akane growled.

Luna sweated nervously. 'Great! I forgot!'

"Honestly! Fine I'll figure it out myself," Akane grumbled. "Mean cat, being all catlike and mean…."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A little more than an hour later…

"Are you three alright?" Soun asked, head peeking out over the paper. "It looks like you didn't get enough sleep."

All three Tendo girls' hair was wild and each had bags under their eyes.

"Nothing happened, Father…" Michiru spoke, albeit drowsily. "Nothing at all…"

Ami nodded slowly, eyes droopy. "I… studied a bit later than usual…"

*Bang* Akane's head fell and hit the table.

"…" was every other person's response.

"… Actually, Akane kept me up by dressing in another school's uniform…" Ami confessed.

"WHAT?" Akane popped back up. "IMMA MAGIC GIRL! BLEAH!"

Luna facepalmed under the table.

"… So… It's Tuesday, then?" Soun sighed.

Ami nodded. "That _is_ the day today…"

"**Why doesn't anyone believe me**?" Akane yelled.

Michiru drank her tea. "Akane, we all know you want to be special…"

"BUT I AM!" Akane growled. "I'll prove it to you!"

Luna panicked. 'No! No, no, NO!'

Akane searched herself but didn't find the brooch. "It's… hold on a second…"

The youngest girl ran back upstairs, only hitting the walls of the house twice. Her black cat followed after her in a hurry.

"…"

"…"

"…"

All the other Tendos simultaneously sighed.

"Excellent breakfast, Michiru… as usual…" Soun eventually spoke.

Ami nodded.

"Thanks…" Michiru answered, drinking her tea.

"…"

"…"

Soun massaged his forehead. "It's times like this that I miss your mother… with her hair so…"

Instantly he started crying.

The other two at the table sighed.

{Moon Prism POWAR!} Akane yelled from her room.

"?" A question mark appeared over the other three Tendos' heads. 'What was…?'

Suddenly! Sailor Moon appeared in front of her family with a black cat chasing after her.

"Fear not, citizens! I will do… something…" Akane silently cursed at her blunder.

Soun continued crying louder and facepalmed. "Akane, daughter, please… what? Why?"

"Yes, Father, this is what Akane did last night…" Michiru frowned.

"Stupid cat! Luna! They recognized me WITH a mask! How HAZ this happened, as you cats would say?" Akane fumed.

'What nonsense is she talking about?' Luna groaned. 'Cats do NOT speak that way!'

"… 'Kane, please change your clothes. We need to get to school…" Ami sighed.

"They don't believe me!" Akane grabbed the tiara on her head and stared at it. "Why can't I do things magical? Stupid MOON, stupid TIARA, stupid MAGIC! ARGG!"

Akane threw it away in anger, only for it to glow and spin into a disk, flying out of the house through the open door before looping around and coming back to her head.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

Everyone and their cat was speechless.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Michiru and Ami blinked, looked at each other and nodded.

"'Kane…" Ami stated as the sisters stood up. "We need to talk…"

Both older sisters dragged a stunned Akane out of the room.

'Just what I need…' Luna chased after them.

"…" Soun blinked and fell over in a faint.

"Alright, little sister… you're right… you're a magic girl," Michiru sighed.

"Imma magic girl…" Akane was still dazed.

"Great, she's still in shock," Ami noted.

"Perhaps if we slap her…" Michiru tapped her lips with her finger.

"Talking cat was right…" Akane laughed hysterically. "I've figured out a magical attack on my own!"

Ami sighed and nodded to her older sister.

*Smack* Akane's cheek took 1 damage.

"Ow! Michiru!" Akane gasped in shock and rubbed her cheek.

"Sorry, little sister, but you were out of it." Michiru took a deep breath. "Now… tell us what that was about."

Akane smiled. "I learned a magical attack! I'm an action fighting magic girl! Now will you believe me?"

Her sisters nodded.

"Good… Imma magic girl, Imma magic girl, Whoohoo!" Akane giggled hysterically. "Wait… where's Luna? She really talks. I wasn't lying about that."

Luna sighed in defeat. "I'm here…"

Michiru and Ami looked down at the cat and blinked.

"There you are!" Akane was smiling ear to ear.

"Yes… yes, I am… Since you would soak me until I tell you everything, I might as well tell all three of you," Luna sighed. "Akane is Sailor Moon…"

"Sailor?" Ami turned and studied Akane. "Sailor seifuku?"

"… Yes…" Luna answered slowly.

Akane narrowed her eyes. "Wait a second… Sailor… like Sailor V? I'm on a magical girl team of magic girls?"

"Um…" Luna was cut off by a squeal.

"Imma part of a magic girl fighting team!" Akane leaped for joy.

The other three sweatdropped.

"Is she…?" Luna asked.

"You have no idea," Ami deadpanned.

Luna facepalmed.

"Alright, Luna, my magical cat advisor who can talk," Akane struck a pose, "what is my magical girl mission now that I'm a magic girl who can do magic?"

"Well, aren't you giddy…?" Luna sweatdropped more.

"You can tell her later. We need to go to school." Michiru put her foot down.

*Crash* came from behind them.

All four turned around to see a once more unconscious Soun Tendo right behind them.

Ami sighed. "I'll take care of Father."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"I said I didn't tell anyone!" Akane yelled as she walked home with her sisters. "Why don't you believe me?"

The other two Tendo girls looked at each other and sighed.

Ami looked upwards. "Because we know you… all too well…"

Akane fumed. "Honestly! My own sisters!"

Michiru smiled. "Relax, little sister. It's not that we don't trust you, it's that you've been rather excited about this."

Akane sighed. "I guess…"

The trio made it home without any further delay…

"Ah, my fierce tigress!" A wild Tatewaki Kuno appeared.

*Glomp* Oh no, Akane's caught in a glomp!

'Akane! What are you doing here?' Akane screamed at herself. 'This area is perverted! Ease off and smack him!'

"I love you…" Kuno proclaimed as he was sent flying by an Akane kick.

Ami used her hand like a visor. "I think that might be a new aerial record."

"Really?" asked Michiru.

"I have no idea; I don't keep track of that stuff." Ami shrugged.

"Well, you SHOULD!" Akane stomped off, mood darkened.

Her sisters had a hard time keeping up.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Luna took a deep breath as she was surrounded by the Tendo girls in Akane's bedroom.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions…" Luna sighed. 'I'm beginning to regret this…'

Ami nodded and had a notebook filled with questions that she laid out before the black cat.

Luna sweatdropped.

"Ami, I think I should ask the first question…" Akane got right up into Luna's face. "Why didn't you speak last night?"

Luna sighed. "Because it is dangerous to let other people know. Not that I've had much of a choice since you used your tiara this morning…"

"Letting them know is better than keeping it a secret and creating awkwardness!" Akane argued."'Oh, Akane, where are you going at three in the morning?'I can't tell you because my cat said NOT TO TELL ANYONE!"

"You would put your family at risk for this?" Luna narrowed her eyes. "You have enemies who could use that to destroy you."

Akane blinked. "Well, duh. But that never works. Haven't you read what happens?"

Luna facefaulted. "Just because I'm a talking cat doesn't mean I know your popular culture…"

Ami coughed into her hand. "Question one, formerly question five, what enemies does my sister have?"

Luna sweated as she answered carefully. "I don't know. My memory isn't that good…"

Michiru tilted her head. "Why is that?"

"Um… I don't know." Luna was starting to hate how smart Akane's sisters were.

"Question two, formerly question one, where are you from?" Ami asked pencil in hand.

Luna sighed in defeat. "The Moon… 5,000 years ago…"

"I have a moon cat!" Akane giggled joyously.

Michiru closed her eyes for a moment before getting right in front of Akane.

*Smack* Akane's left cheek took 2 damage.

"OW!" Akane rubbed her cheek. "WHY?"

Ami answered for her. "I can practically feel your intelligence dropping… We want answers from this space-cat and you're acting like a child."

Akane narrowed her eyes at her twin. "You're just too serious to be excited… both of you! I! AM! A MAGIC! **GIRL**! Shouldn't you be happy for me? We have an alien cat, show some joy! Honestly!"

Ami blinked. "Speaking of which… question three, formerly question one hundred seventeen, how can you speak Japanese?"

Luna sweatdropped. "Magic? How should _I_ know?"

"But you DO know what dangers our little sister is getting into, correct?" Michiru set her glare to stun.

Luna sighed. "Yes… Yes, I do… First off, she needs allies…"

"Like Sailor V!" Akane smiled. "Ooh! Can I haz my ownz video gamez?"

Her sisters glared at her.

"What?" Akane threw her arms into the air. "Sailor V has a video game! And you should speak like cats if you want them to understand…"

Luna facepalmed. "Cats do not speak that way!"

"Says you!" Akane got defensive.

Luna banged her head on the bed. 'Why me?'

Ami poked Luna with her pencil. "Question four, formerly question two, what else does my twin sister have to do on the job as a magic girl?"

Luna groaned. "She… has to find the Moon princess… Hopefully, then we can have someone competent in charge…"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Akane growled.

Ami shrugged. "You _have_ been acting childish."

Her twin grumbled and crossed her arms over her chest, looking away.

"Speaking of childish…" Michiru rubbed her chin. "What do we tell Father?"

*Slam!* The door opened to reveal Soun Tendo.

"EVERYTHING!" Soun commanded, posing heroically.

Those not named Akane sweatdropped.

"DAD! IMMA MAGIC GIRL!" Akane smiled.

"Yes, you are, princess…" Soun nodded his head knowingly. "Now, what have you gotten my baby daughter into?"

Luna internally cried.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"… And that's all you need to know… Happy?" Luna groaned in annoyance after explaining to Soun as much as she was willing to share with him.

Said man smoothed his mustache with his fingers. "Absolutely not!"

"WHAT?" Akane grew scared.

"I will not let my youngest daughter fight crime until she has a disguise." Soun crossed his arms.

Everyone else facefaulted.

"But I have a disguise!" Akane growled. "I showed you this morning!"

Soun stood firm. "And I saw through it. Not very good."

Akane's mind raced to think of an idea. "But DAD! It's only because… you're so awesome!"

Luna massaged her face.

Soun was slightly shocked. "I am? Err, yes, I AM!" Soun mentally high fived himself. 'All that training under He-who-is-dead… forever… has finally paid off! My youngest daughter respects me now!'

"Yes." Akane nodded. "But to normal, un-awesome people, my disguise is good… RIGHT, LUNA?"

Luna sighed, weeping on the inside. "Yes…"

Soun pondered by messing with his mustache. "Very well, then. It's a martial artist's duty to protect the weak, and being a magic girl IS honorable… I'll allow it because I was told about it now, instead of much later after my daughter dies a few times…"

Akane stuck her tongue out smugly at Luna.

"However, I do recommend a better mask…" Soun stroked his chin. "The one I saw this morning is terrible and could poke someone's eye out, not to mention looking too much like Sailor V's…"

Akane's sisters nodded in agreement.

Luna closed her eyes… and pounded her head into the bed.

Ami glanced at the clock. "Akane, please don't do anything incredibly… stupid. I have to go to cram school now."

Akane gritted her teeth but kept quiet.

"Speaking of which…" Michiru turned to leave. "I have practice to go to… and a date. Please don't blow up the kitchen again, little sister. Order out… please."

"I said I was sorry!" Akane blurted.

Both sisters nodded and left.

"Whatever you do, I will support you," Soun said as he headed to the door. "But please, don't die…"

Akane rolled her eyes as her father started crying.

"I believe in you…" Soun closed the door, leaving behind many of tears.

Luna pushed herself up and took a deep breath. "Satisfied?"

Akane looked down and shook her head. "No… I have to do something first… Come, Luna…"

Luna gulped. 'I have a very bad feeling about this….'

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Luna gasped in shock as she sat in Akane's lap at the place to which they had gone.

"And here's some for you, open up…" Akane offered Luna some ice cream with a spoon as she sat in a booth.

Luna looked around and only saw a couple of girls near the front; there was no one in earshot. She still whispered, though. "Thank you."

Luna ate the spoonful. "OM NOM NOMNOMNOM."

Akane smiled. "I just wanted to thank you for the whole you-know-what and apologize for harming you…"

Luna stopped to catch her breath. "Does this mean no more water to the face?"

Akane sweated and rubbed the back of her head with her free hand. "Sorry about that…"

Luna studied Akane. 'She doesn't want to do harm… Yet… when she gets angry…' Luna shivered. 'Such an odd girl… and an even odder position… There was no Sailor Moon back then, yet that's who she is… No time to figure that out. We still have to find the Moon Princess…'

"Hey, Luna…" Akane interrupted the cat's thoughts. "Were there ever any whales on the moon?"

Luna's eyes widened. "Is there any reason for asking this?"

Akane shrugged. "It's not TOO important… I just wanted to know…"

"Well… you see…" Luna was about to say more when something completely different happened.

*CRASH* A BANDICOOT came through the wall, a bandicoot that looked to be made of spoons… orange spoons…

Luna's eyes widened further. "It's a youma! We need Sailor Moon!"

Akane blinked. "Hmm? Why would that be necessary? I can take it!"

Luna facepalmed. "Just do it…"

"But those are expensive! Foreign shoes always are…" Akane sighed.

'WHAT?' Luna grew irritated. "Transform!"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Alright, alright!"

Meanwhile, the youma had absorbed the energy of the teenage boy clerk and the two girls and was looking for more.

Akane ducked under the table and whispered, {Moon Prism Power.}

The spoon youma accidentally hit the music controls for the shop and 'I'm a Barbie Girl' song started playing as Akane transformed.

'Barbie!' Akane smiled as she heard it. 'No! Don't get distracted, time to be a fighting magic girl!'

The spoon youma bandicoot turned its head towards Akane just in time to get hit.

"Moon Punch!" Akane smacked the youma as she jumped into action. 'Moon Punch… that's a good one.'

Luna was shocked when she saw that Akane wasted no time (once transformed, that is) to leap into action.

"…" the spoon bandicoot youma screamed.

"…" Akane shook her head. "What?"

"…" The spoon youma leaped to spoon Akane with its left rusty hand…. spoon.

Akane dodged to the left and hit the thing's spoon elbow as it missed her. "Moon PUNCH!"

*Clank* The spoon youma lost its arm below the elbow.

'Wow! That's harder than I can normally hit…' A smile crept across Akane's face. "Stop, evil spoon! Or, I, Sailor Moon shall punish you!"

"…" the spoon bandicoot screamed.

"Moon Kick!" Akane kicked the spoon youma in the shin, denting it. 'It didn't break the shin… Ripoff artist!'

With more anger, Akane kicked the other shin. "Moon KICK!"

*Clank clank clank clank* Spoons fell to the floor as it was kicked.

"Ha ha!" Akane was grinning from ear to ear.

"Sailor Moon, finish it off! Lives are in danger!" Luna cried out, impressed by Akane's fighting skills.

'Oh, right… yipes!' Akane leaped out of the way as the uninjured arm made of orange spoons came down where she'd been standing.

Sailor Moon rolled and stood up, smirk on her face. "Eat this, evil spoon! Moon! Tiara! Um… what was it… Action?"

She threw her tiara at the creature and it spun into a disk, creaming the youma and turning it to dust.

"Wow…" Akane was shocked at what happened. "I just killed an orange spoon bandicoot…"

Luna walked over to Sailor Moon. "Very good, Sailor Moon. The people's life energy will return to them soon…"

As Luna was speaking, the three people seemed to be stirring.

That shook Sailor Moon out of her stupor. "We should go… right after this…"

Sailor Moon found a pen and a napkin behind the counter and scribbled something on it before placing it on the pile of dust.

"Let's go…" Sailor Moon transformed and walked a little too casually out of the building.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Yuka groaned as she came to. "Sayuri… Oh, my head… What happened?"

Sayuri rubbed her head as she awoke. "I don't know… Why are there holes in the floor… and the wall?"

"There's dust here…" Yuka walked over to the dust pile. "Huh… there's something on this napkin…"

"What is it?" Sayuri walked over to her friend.

"It says, 'Sailor Moon 1 Spoons 0' and there's a _drawing_ of a girl in a sailor fuku… with a mask… and its tongue out," Yuka stated. "She looks kinda like Sailor V, but with a different hairstyle."

"Hard to tell much else from a scribble…" Sayuri mused. "So… do we have a magic girl here in Tokyo?"

Yuka nodded. "I think so."

Both were quiet for a few minutes.

"WHAT THE?" The teenage clerk woke up. "My boss is gonna KILL ME!"

"… Think it's Akane?" Sayuri asked.

"Oh, yeah…" Yuka answered. "Who else would it be?"

They stayed quiet for another moment in thought.

"Do you two girls know what happened?" The clerk asked.

Yuka shrugged. "It was Crash Bandicoot…"

"What?' The teenage boy trembled. "He's real?"

Yuka just nodded.

The clerk gripped his head and calmed down. "Good… we have insurance for that…"

With that, he walked to the back room.

"How sure are you about it being Akane?" Sayuri asked. "I'm thinking 50-50."

"I'm at a 93%... did you see how giddy she was today? 5% it's someone else we know, 2% for a random stranger…" Yuka tapped her lips in thought. "Should we ask?"

"Let's just talk about Sailor Moon, and if she has a reaction, then we'll know," Sayuri answered.

"A magic girl martial artist… great," Yuka sighed. "How are we supposed to get boyfriends now?"

Sayuri bowed her head in sadness.

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'Imma magic girl, but that's OK!' Akane hummed to herself as she walked home, Luna in her arms.

The blue-haired girl was skipping at this point; her mood was upbeat and pleasant.

That's how her twin saw her as she turned onto the street right behind her. 'Glad to see her happy…'

"Hey, Luna, how was that? Huh? Who's incompetent now?" Akane laughed merrily as she skipped.

Luna rolled her eyes. "Be quiet!" the cat whispered. "People will think you're a crazy cat lady!"

Akane frowned. "Killjoy…"

"'Kane, wait up!" Ami called out not too far behind her twin.

"Sis! Guess what I did?" Akane was giddy with excitement. "Guess, guess…"

"You got to be a magic girl and killed a monster of some sort," Ami deadpanned.

"…" Luna blinked in surprise.

Akane didn't, however. "Mm hmm! Sure did! It was awesome! How was your time at cram school?"

Ami shrugged.

"Same as always, huh…" Akane let out her breath. "And you don't want me to teach them a lesson?"

Ami shook her head.

"Fine… They're mean, though…" Akane mumbled.

Ami sighed. "I don't care what they think…"

"Well, I DO!" Akane shouted. "You're my sister! My TWIN SISTER! I can't let them be mean to you!"

"They haven't hurt me…" Ami argued.

"Not PHYSICALLY!" Akane growled. "But they! They! ARGGG!"

"Please calm down…" Ami put a hand on Akane's shoulder. "It's not worth it…"

Akane sighed and lowered her head. "But I… I… I feel so… helpless, sis… They're making you miserable and you won't let me do anything…"

"I don't care that they make fun of me." Ami tilted Akane's head up.

"Liar…" Akane mumbled. "I hate to see you hurting, sis…"

Ami sighed. "I know… but it's just words…"

Akane sniffled. "That just makes it worse…"

"… Come on, some ice cream will cheer you up." Ami smiled.

"Can't. Destroyed it while defeating a bandicoot. Right, Luna?" Akane smile victoriously.

Luna, who was observing the twins, just nodded.

Ami sighed. "Should I be worried?"

"No," Akane answered. "It just means that your classmates will have to treat you better."

Ami pinched her nose. "If I make dinner, will you not attack them?"

"Well…" Akane bit her lip. "They could… I dunno, be evil…"

Ami looked at Luna, who just shrugged.

"At least wait a day…" Ami countered.

Akane's stomach growled. "Deal!"

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"Pass the sauce, Luna." Akane was seated with her father, twin, and magical cat at the table, all enjoying Ami's meal.

"I never thought I would do this…" Luna sweatdropped, but pushed the sauce to Akane anyway.

"And why is that?" Soun asked, enjoying his food.

Luna rolled her eyes. "I… am a cat."

Soun blinked. "So?"

Luna facepalmed.

"There is a chance of you receiving a concussion if you keep doing that, Luna…" Ami stated as she ate.

"I… am a CAT!" Luna stressed. "I am eating here, at a table, but I am a CAT! Most people would find this strange!"

Akane humphed. "Those people suck… Why shouldn't you eat at the table?"

Luna just sighed. "Forget it…"

Ami tapped her lips with her chopsticks. "Did this happen 5,000 years ago?"

Luna took a deep, deep breath. "Yes… I ate with humans 5,000 years ago, BUT, it was… different…"

Akane snorted. "No, it isn't."

"…" Luna opened her mouth, closed it and rubbed her temples.

"Anyway…" Akane raised an eyebrow. "Dad, guess what I did?"

Soun thought it over. "You… ate ice cream?"

Akane frowned. "Well, yeah… but I did something ELSE too!"

"I… don't… know…" Soun honestly stated.

Akane grinned. "I killed a bandicoot made of SPOONS!"

Luna sighed. "It was a youma…"

Akane nodded. "A spoon one…"

Soun paused and looked at Ami, who pointed to Luna, who in turn rolled her eyes and nodded. "… WHAHHH! MY DAUGHTER KILLED A SPOON YOUMA!"

Luna facepalmed while the twins rolled their eyes.

"I'm fine, Dad, jeeze…" Akane mumbled.

Soun kept crying, however. "NOW SHE HAS DEATH ON HER HANDS! WHAHHH!"

Luna tried to help. "Youma are… not of this world, really… so…"

"WHAHHH! MY DAUGHTER WAS ATTACKED BY INTERDENOMINATIONAL CREATURES!" Soun cried.

Luna looked at Ami, who sighed.

"Dad… I want you to train me, then… better." Akane narrowed her eyes.

Soun stopped crying. "Now, let's not get too overdramatic, shall we?"

Luna facefaulted. "What's WITH you people?"

The three Tendos stared at her.

"What's wrong with YOU?" Akane got defensive. "You can't even speak cat right!"

Luna's eye twitched violently.

Ami pinched her nose. "Our family… is used to crazy. And Father doesn't want to see sis get hurt… ever. He's been that way the last ten years. Ever since Mom…"

Soun cut her off. "What my daughter meant to say is… uh… um… Want more rice?"

Luna covered her eyes with her paws as her ears fell flat against her head. 'What did I do to deserve this?'

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"Goodnight, honorable older sister…" Akane said as she hugged Michiru.

"Goodnight. I'll try to get Haruka to stop flirting with you." Michiru smiled.

Akane looked hopeful. "Does it involve smashing?"

Michiru closed her eyes. "No, my way is different."

Akane frowned. "But I wanna smash him. He's cheating on you… sorta… and bugging me!"

Michiru giggled. "But if you smashed Haruka, then it would be nurses who would be in trouble…"

"Oh…" Akane sighed.

"I know what I'm doing…" Michiru smiled wider. "Alright?"

"Yes…" Akane let go and went to her room.

Luna yawned as she saw Akane enter. "Feeling better?"

Akane nodded. "A little. Are you sure you want to sleep on a pillow on the floor instead of on my bed?"

Luna sweatdropped. "Yes… I'm sure."

Akane shrugged and crawled into bed. "Goodnight, magical mooncat Luna."

"Goodnight, Akane…" Luna closed her eyes.

'My life is finally changing for the better… I'm special.' Akane smiled and fell asleep.

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**Author's notes:** I think this stresses the characters more, don't you think? Besides, it has a weird uniqueness to it. Akane laughing in the face of danger instead of Usagi, crying and doesn't like fighting. Poor Luna… Originally, the prologue was going to include the first three chapters, but tuatara convinced them to split it. It turned out pretty good… Oh, and the reason this started in August is that it was a blue moon AND a red moon in August. Yeah, wow.


	3. Protecting sisters in daylight

The **Red** Side of a **Blue** _**Moon**_

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** this fanfic is odd. Mighty odd.

**Caution:** this next part might be emotional. I don't know for sure, cuz I'm the Text.

**Fusion:** fall is a game that Noy hasn't played but it's stuck in all of our heads.

**Reviews:** I like the 10 star system, actually. Spica75, k thanks. luger 7, PARTY! Aceina, noy is actually on an anti drug, anime. ^_^

**Thanks!:** to tuatara. Tuatara really, REALLY wanted this fic posted. And edits it too…

You have been warned…

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**Chapter 2: Protecting sisters in daylight…**

The next morning, Akane's best friends popped their question.

"So…" Yuka got the short stick. "Hear about Sailor Moon?"

Akane's eyes shot open as she was trying to get some sleep before class. "Wh-h-hat?"

Yuka smiled. "Hear about Sailor Moon?"

'Shoot, I forgot, they were the ones in the ice cream shop… Act casual…' Akane broke out into a grin. "Who's she? Is she like Sailor V? TELL ME!"

Yuka smirked. 'A quarter of a second hesitation… Got you.'

Sayuri smiled. "I don't know… She defeated a spoon demon-"

"Bandicoot!" Akane blurted, quickly covering her mouth.

Her friends gave her a knowing look.

"NoOooo… it wasn't me… I…" Akane twiddled her fingers.

They continued to give her the look.

Akane looked around and saw that they were alone. "Fine… you got me… Imma magic girl!"

Sayuri rubbed her temples. "Akane, this is even crazier than the time you wanted us to join you in a mystery team to solve mysteries..."

"Yeah, you even stole a van..." Yuka added.

"And a dog..." Sayuri counted off her fingers.

Akane slammed her fist. "I didn't steal that dog! It offered to help once I fed it Big Sister's cooking!"

"Or last month, when you wanted to be a vet..." Sayuri counted off another finger.

Akane grumbled. "That's different! I said I was sorry! Jeez!"

Yuka stroked her chin. "Are you a real one? Or…"

Akane nodded.

Yuka crossed her arms. "Pics or it didn't happen."

Akane growled. "I saved your lives from a spoon bandicoot Youma!"

Yuka shrugged and stared at the door of the classroom. "Well, yeah, but regular Akane could do that…"

Akane looked away and growled, mumbling something.

"She has a point, though…" Sayuri agreed with Yuka. "We would believe that you could do it with your martial arts moves…"

Akane sighed. "No, that only made it lose spoons."

The blue-haired girl with the hime cut's friends looked at each other.

Akane took a deep breath and looked around the room again to see that they were still alone. "You see this brooch?"

Her friends nodded.

"It allows me to transform… It takes forever and the skirt is very short…" Akane explained quietly.

"Show us." Yuka smiled.

Akane was about to answer when the students started coming in. "Later… Come to my house after school… You'll see me in action."

Both of Akane's friends nodded.

A random girl wearing as much black as she could in a school uniform rolled her eyes while chewing gum. "Seriously, why are you three losers always here so early?"

Akane smirked. "Because we're better than you…"

The goth girl shrugged and went away.

Ami then walked into the room, head in a book. "Good to see you awake, Sis. Good morning, Sayuri, Yuka."

Yuka chuckled. "Good morning, Belle-chan… Heard about Sailor Moon?"

Ami's book closed dramatically as the short-haired girl sighed and pinched her nose. "Akane…"

Sayuri giggled. "We figured it out on our own…"

The teacher then came in. "Class, get to your seats… You only have five minutes."

The class groaned but relented.

Ami looked right at her twin. "Be careful…"

With that, Ami walked towards her class… a class of one… in the library… with a private teacher… who Ami was teaching instead of the other way around…

Akane sighed and got ready for class.

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Akane popped her head around the corner as she followed her twin to her cram school.

Yuka and then Sayuri popped their heads around the corner as well.

Yuka whispered to her friends, "What are we doing?"

"And why did you bring your cat?" Sayuri added softly.

Akane rolled her eyes. "Honestly! Magic girl, cat, think!"

Akane's friends closed their eyes and took a deep breath.

Luna, who was on Akane's shoulder, settled for bowing her head and closing her eyes, head hurting too much to stand being hit again.

"Akane…" Yuka started.

"Come on!" Akane moved up to the pole on the sidewalk, hiding behind it… somehow.

Her two normal brown-haired friends shrugged and followed Akane.

"Alright, Luna…" Akane whispered, "Do you know any way to sneak into Ami's cram school?"

Luna just gave her a 'really?' look.

"… Why did I bring you then?" Akane mumbled. "Yuka?"

Yuka shrugged.

"Sayuri?" Akane bit her lip.

"I didn't even know there WAS a cram school here…" Sayuri answered.

Akane darted her eyes all over the building in front of them, her mind racing. "Hey… Luna, do you have anything to help us get in there?"

Luna turned to stare at Akane's friends for a moment, thinking it over.

"Look, they know because of YOUR MAGIC… so…" Akane grew impatient.

Luna was going to answer when there was an explosion nearby.

Akane blinked. "I KNEW they were evil! Cover me!"

{Moon Prism Power} Akane whispered and transformed.

Giant question marks appeared above Yuka and Sayuri, but they ended up being in the way of anyone who might look at Akane transforming.

Yuka stuck her hand out to Sayuri, who in turned grumbled and paid tree fiddy to Yuka.

Akane didn't seem to notice. "Come, Luna!"

Luna sighed and followed Akane… not that she had much of a choice, being on her shoulder and all. "Why were you coming here anyway? Didn't you agree-"

Akane cut her off. "Yeah, I said I'd wait a day, YESTERDAY… Besides, I have a twin to save heroically!"

Yuka and Sayuri followed to a safe distance outside the building and pulled out a bag of popcorn.

"At least we're not in the middle of it this time," Sayuri sighed in relief.

"I'm glad too… I think I'll spend my money on ice cream…" Yuka smiled.

Sayuri threw her arms into the air. "How was I supposed to know that it happened instantaneously? Akane said it took forever…"

Yuka shrugged. "I watched enough magic girl shows to know it's subjective. Speaking of which… 442 yen that Ami is a magic girl too…"

"No way! I'm not falling for that again…" Sayuri crossed her arms. "Wait, why 442?"

Yuka blushed. "There's a special at… well... I only need that much… And you're my friend, so…"

"Does this have to do with the bribe that Michiru gave you to not tell Akane that Haruka is a girl?" Sayuri raised an eyebrow.

Yuka looked away. "… Ma-a-aybe…"

"You could have asked for more. I got a CD of one of Michiru's performances." Sayuri looked smug.

"Yeah, yeah…" Yuka sighed. "I just love that show, you know?"

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Akane dramaticaly opened the door to the room where Ami was… except that it wasn't Ami's room.

The empty classroom mocked her with cricket noises.

Akane slumped and closed the door. "Where is she?"

Luna shrugged. "Use your mask."

"Speaking of that, can I change it to something better?" Akane asked.

Luna sweatdropped. "Later… Press the button on the right…"

Akane did as her cat advised and saw, through her mask, Ami.

In her vision, Ami was hiding behind a flipped table. Screams could be heard and there were things being thrown randomly. The table was grabbed by a monstrous-looking humanoid computer thing. Lastly, Ami had the symbol of Mercury on her head…

"Great, she's in trouble… At least her glowing forehead makes it easier to find her…" Akane started running down the hall, her twin senses tingling.

Luna almost fell off Akane's shoulder in shock. "Akane… did you say her forehead glowed?"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Now's not the time… It does that when she's in trouble or stressed. It happened only twice before, I think… Why?"

Luna breathed slowly. "What symbol was it?"

Akane grumbled. "How should I know? It's like the female symbol but mad. Why, is it… no… NO!"

Luna panicked as Akane's anger grew.

*SMASH* Akane kicked down the door to Ami's room.

"Die, evil monster!" Akane launched herself at the Youma, Luna jumping off Akane's shoulder.

"Ami!" Luna got over to Ami, noticing that everyone else seemed drained. "What happened?

Ami explained calmly. "The computer I used exploded. It caused a chain reaction, leading to the detonation of the bomb that was here, for some reason. I hid here and the monster almost got me when you arrived. Now, why are you staring at my forehead?"

Luna sighed and did a backflip. "You're Sailor Mercury. Say {Mercury Prism Power} and help your twin… I'm going to lie down and take a much needed nap…"

Ami took the pen with the star on it and frowned. "I have a very bad feeling about this…"

Nearby, Akane was screaming. "STUPID YOUMA! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU, I'M NOT SPECIAL ANYMORE! JUST LEAVE AMI ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE!"

Ami sighed as she heard that. "She is not taking it well… as I feared. Alright… {Mercury Prism Power!}"

Ami transformed and looked over the table to see Akane jumping up and down on the knocked-over Youma, screaming.

"SHE'S ALREADY BETTER THAN ME IN EVERYTHING! WHY'D YOU DO THIS, HUH? WHY?" Akane had a battle aura of glowing red. "WHY DID YOU PICK ON HER SO MUCH THAT I WOULD COME AND, AND… ARGGGGGH!"

Ami blinked in surprise. 'Better than her in everything… Oh, boy… this is worse than I thought…'

Akane was so distracted at smashing the head that she didn't notice the Youma's foot come up…

*Kick* The Youma kicked Akane in the back.

*THUD* Akane was thrown headfirst into the wall, spiraling her into unconsciousness.

"Stupid girl…" the Youma spoke slowly, struggling to get on her feet.

This caused Luna to wake up and see what happened. "Oh no… Mercury! Use Mercury Bubble Blast!"

"Mercury Bubble Blast!" Ami shouted as the room began to fog up in bubbles. 'That felt very awkward for some reason… No matter, 'Kane needs me.'

Ami got over to Akane and started treating her wounds. Fortunately, Ami's bag was right next to her.

"Fools! This can't hide you forever!" the Youma yelled, still stumbling to get up. (A broken head will do that.)

Luna got to the both of them and fretted. 'Why did I have to go to sleep? Why did I feel so confident that I could go to sleep? Why did I do that?'

"Luna." Mecury looked at the cat. "Is there anything in that backflip space of yours that can help us?"

Luna sweated. "I don't know… I… Wait…"

The cat backflipped, producing a laptop with the Mercury symbol on it.

"Here, the Mercury Computer. I don't remember much about it, but it's yours," Luna explained.

Ami picked it up and opened it. After a few seconds, Ami grabbed her bag and gave it to Luna. "Get the smelling salts and open the cherry poptart. That will wake her up."

Luna nodded, determined to fix this situation. "And you?"

Ami stood up and narrowed her eyes. "Distraction…"

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The Youma finally got back onto its feet, head buzzing and ears blaring. It stumbled a bit, but braced itself against the wall. The Youma still wasn't feeling right and couldn't see a thing. Not that the bubbles helped in that regard.

"Come out, you coward!" the Youma dared.

Not helping matters was the fact that its ears were shattered and barely worked at all. The only way it was still of any use was that it could feel. The tremors of footsteps were irritating.

'That girl is up and about again…' the Youma snarled to itself. "Come out!"

The Youma heard a voice coming from its right. Being mostly deaf, it couldn't make it out.

"Hey! Over here!" Ami shouted, trying to distract the Youma.

The bubbles finally dispersed, not that it made much of a difference to the Youma.

*Wham* A computer hit the Youma upside the head, toppling it over.

Ami was smiling on how she was doing so far and continued to try and figure out how to use the Mercury Computer.

"HAHAHAHA!" the Youma laughed. "Foolish girl, you gave me what I need to regain my senses!"

Ami facepalmed at her mistake as the Youma merged with the computer, once again able to see and hear.

"You look different than last time… No matter, Computi-chan will destroy you!" The Youma smirked.

Ami frowned. "Mecury Bubble Blast!"

"NOT AGAIN!" the Youma screamed in agony as it couldn't see… yet again.

Ami got a chair and threw THAT at the Youma.

"OW! You! YOU! Where are you, GIRL?" The Youma started punching the air.

'The head is a weak spot, technology is its strength, and I just helped it… Great going, Ami…' the short-haired girl sighed as she thought up a plan.

By this time, Luna opened the cherry poptart. She didn't know HOW this would work, but that's what Ami told her told her to do.

"Mmm… food…" Akane's eyes blinked open as she stared at a poptart being held by a cat.

"Good, you're awake…" Luna sighed in relief.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are…" The Youma sneered.

Akane sat up and rubbed her head as she watched the Youma wander around aimlessly.

That's when the blue-haired girl and her cat saw the OTHER blue-haired girl with a chain of bookbags sneaking around the Youma.

'What the?' Akane shook her head and stood up, temples throbbing. 'Sis is a magic girl too… Why isn't she dusting this thing? Maybe if I prove to be a BETTER magic girl… YES! I _WILL_ BE SPECIAL!'

Akane grabbed her tiara as her face showed her glee.

*THUMP!* That's when Ami used the bags to tie up and trip the Youma's legs.

Ami turned to see if Akane was alright and saw her twin ready to attack. Ami had the common sense to get out of the way.

"Moon Tiara ACTION!" Akane threw her tiara and it glowed into a disk, hitting the Youma, turning it into dust with a scream.

Akane smirked and took a step forward when suddenly she fell.

Ami caught her twin right before she hit the floor.

Luna came up to them, fear evident on her face. "Mercury…"

Ami sighed and started dragging her twin out of the building. "She's alright… just… out of it again…"

"But… how?" Luna wondered aloud as she followed them.

Ami smiled. "Sugar can awake her temporarily after a head injury… It was a risk I had to take…"

Luna nodded. "Is she alright?"

"She had worse before. She should be fine. Could you get my bag?" Ami asked.

"Huh, sure…" Luna went back and retrieved Ami's bag.

"Luna… how do I get out of this?"

The black cat sweated.

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Five minutes later, Ami dragged her twin out of the building, both back to their normal selves… and filthy.

Sayuri and Yuka found picnic chairs… somehow… and were sitting in them, finishing off their popcorn when they saw the twins exit the building followed by a black cat named Luna.

Immediately, Yuka and Sayuri dropped their popcorn and ran to go help.

"What happened?" Sayuri asked.

Ami caught her breath and answered… in a way. "I'll tell both of you AFTER Akane is cared for."

Sayuri and Yuka nodded.

"Good…" Ami rotated her shoulders to bring relief to them. "Tofu-sensei is close by. Let's hurry, my twin sister is experiencing head trauma."

Yuka glanced at Luna as she and Sayuri helped drag Akane. "Alright, cat, how bad is it?"

Luna didn't answer, but she looked away.

Ami pinched her nose. "Akane… you can't keep doing this…"

Sayuri released a giggle. "We already know about 'the secret' and Akane felt that her cat could help. And going by what she said, you're a magic cat, aren't you?"

Luna shut her eyes tightly in frustration.

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"Hm? Ami? What brings you-" Chiropractor and practitioner of alternate medicine Dr. Tofu Ono put down his clipboard as he saw Akane being dragged in by her friends, unconscious.

After they got her lying down, Ami explained what she could. "Akane was hit in the head during the explosion that occurred at my cram school. It was enough to knock her out. She awoke briefly before succumbing to unconsciousness again."

"So that's what that sound was…" Dr. Tofu mused. "I'll get her treated immediately."

The three humans and one cat watched Dr. Tofu take care of Akane.

Yuka fidgeted and poked Ami's shoulder, motioning her out of the room.

Ami took one last look at her sister and left the room with Sayuri and Yuka, confident in the doctor's abilities.

"We want answers." Yuka crossed her arms over her chest. "And HE needs to know as well…"

Ami sighed and looked around the room to see that it was clear. "There was a Youma… It caused the explosion. 'Kane was able to destroy it."

Yuka and Sayuri looked at each other and nodded.

"So… are you a magic girl too?" Yuka asked, twiddling her fingers.

Ami decided to be truthful; Sayuri and Yuka were known to be very observant, after all. "Yes. Yes, I am."

"Told you I wasn't stupid enough to take that bet…" Sayuri smirked at Yuka.

Ami rolled her eyes. "Don't let the whole school know. I'm serious. These Youma are from another world or dimension… Something like that. Our lives will be in danger…"

Yuka blinked and shrugged. "So, in other news, you two have blue hair. Things are ALWAYS in danger when your sister is around."

Ami bit her lip. "You don't understand. We are most likely in very, very far over our heads. I have a very bad feeling that this could end up being a war."

"Phshhh…" Sayuri dismissed the tone. "I'd rather know about a dangerous war that my friends are in rather than being ignorant about it. But about the keeping it secret thing… we won't tell anyone."

"Good." Luna suddenly came into the room, not surprising anyone… much to the cat's surprise.

Yuka held out her hand to Sayuri. "Talking cat. Pay up."

Luna sweatdropped. "You two are taking this awfully well."

Yuka shrugged as Sayuri paid up. "This is Tokyo. Weird things happen here. But Nerima is the crazy place in Tokyo, so… we count on weirdness to show up."

Sayuri sighed. "Even though this is mostly a martial arts and crafts town…"

"You got that right." Yuka nodded. "So… talking cat… WHAT… is your name?"

Ami pinched her nose, eyes shut.

"My name is Luna," the cat answered.

Sayuri smiled. "WHAT… is your quest?"

Luna slowly answered. "That's classified…"

"Luna, just tell them…" Ami shook her head and went to check up on her sister.

Sayuri tapped her foot. "GoOo on…"

Luna sighed. "To find the Moon Princess…"

Yuka had an exclamation point pop over her head. "Moon… Akane is Sailor Moon… Hmm… what is Ami?"

"Sailor Mercury," Luna answered. "Is that all?"

Yuka was rubbing her chin in thought. "So, Luna… this magic girl thing… How does one become one?"

Luna was growing suspicious of the two girls in front of her. "It's something you're born with… Akane and Ami are reincarnations of Sailor Senshi. They are the avatars of each planet…"

Yuka and Sayuri laughed.

Luna growled. "Now what?"

Yuka waved her hand in dismissal. "Nothing… nothing… Just… Akane is the Moon's avatar, right?"

Luna nodded slowly. "Yes…"

Yuka was in deep thought. "So, why are you looking for this princess?"

Luna narrowed her eyes. "She is the Crown Princess of the Moon… She was sent forward in time to be reincarnated."

Sayuri tilted her head. "Reincarnated?"

Luna sighed. "Yes. It's a long story… but the Sailor Senshi were sent forward in time to be reincarnated while I've been frozen since then."

"Uh huh… So, Sailor Moon is a reincarnation…" Yuka started pacing.

Luna sweated. "Well… not _really_…"

Both girls stopped and stared at her. "What?" they asked in unison.

Luna sighed. "I don't remember a Sailor Moon… The Moon didn't have a Senshi back then. Then again, my memory is Swiss cheese at the moment."

Sayuri and Yuka looked at each other for a second, the former frowning.

"If there wasn't a Sailor Moon…" Sayuri started.

"Then she must be…" Yuka's eyes went wide.

"…" Luna was really sweating now.

Yuka bent down to Luna's level. "Bet you that Akane is the Moon Princess."

Luna shook her head. "What? Why would you think that?"

Sayuri agreed with Luna. "It IS a bit of a stretch…"

Yuka laughed uncontrollably. "Why would the leader of the Moon (whatever that is) NOT be its avatar if they DO have one?"

Sayuri tapped her lips. "Oh, that DOES make sense…"

Luna shook her head. "No, that can't be… Just… Wait… HOW are you so calm about a Moon Kingdom?"

Sayuri rolled her eyes. "We're more open to crazy things than other people… I would believe that there are humanoid aliens out there hellbent on killing the avatars for all the planets in the galaxy. It would fit in with everything else…"

Luna's eye twitched.

"Hold on… Was there a king or queen in charge?" Yuka asked.

'What kind of question is that?' Luna buried her head in her paws. "A queen… There wasn't a king…"

Yuka scratched her head. "Shouldn't it be 'Queendom'? Because it can't really be a 'Kingdom' without a king… really."

Luna cried out in anguish.

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Akane's mind was in turmoil.

'Ami's a magic girl… YoU'rE not Special-l-l-l-l-l…' Akane's thoughts depressed her.

'No! I have to be special! No!' Another thought flew by, determination flowing through her.

'Back to square one… as usual… We were never going to be special…' A thought came in, boringly depressed.

'Shut up, Eeyore!' Akane tried to gain control of her thoughts… and was failing.

'Sure, tell the donkey to shut up. Seriously, grow up! So what if we're not special? Move on with life, already!' a thought echoed within Akane's mind.

'Just SHUT UP!' Akane was yelling inside her head.

'No, YOU shut up!' a thought responded immediately.

'I'll KILL YOU!' Akane threatened the goat.

'You can't!' the thoughts taunted. 'We're a figment of your imagination!'

'YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!' Akane yelled, tears starting to flow down her real face.

'NoOoo, we don't…' her thoughts mocked and berated her.

'Shut up… Oh, shut up…' Akane was really getting miserable.

'Banana-nana oh, shut up!' her thoughts sang, 'Fee fi shut up!'

'Ami, she's crying…' A thought that sounded like someone she knew flowed through her mind.

'Great going, you're crying. Argh… Just wake up,' Akane's thoughts told her.

'Hello? 'Kane? Can you hear me?' Ami's voice echoed throughout her mind.

'I WILL find a way to be special… I… I'll be the best magic girl EVAR!' Akane growled.

That determination finally got Akane's eyes to open. Not that they could see much of anything, as the room was too bright and her tears blurred her vision.

"Akane? Can you hear me?" Dr. Tofu's voice resonated and Akane was able to see that it came from a shadow to her right.

The injured Tendo girl nodded. "Yes, Dr. Tofu…"

"'Kane… how are you feeling?" Ami asked from another shadow to Akane's left.

"Terrible." Akane turned her head sideways. "Let's just go home…"

Dr. Tofu sighed. "Akane, you took a blow to the head. I need you to take some tests…"

Akane hastily sat up, eyes now working properly. "I'm fine. I'm just depressed. Now, just give me the stupid tests so I can go to my room and cry!"

Ami looked away. 'I was afraid of this…'

"Fine…" Dr. Tofu rubbed his forehead. "Let's get started."

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Akane walked out of the clinic, arms crossed and eyes downcast. Behind her, Yuka and Sayuri followed… concern evident on their faces. Ami was last behind them, bookbag and Luna in her arms.

None of the girls could muster up enough courage to talk to Akane. Ami felt guilty even though she knew she shouldn't. Yuka, though having a hunch of something to make Akane feel better, couldn't figure out a way to say it and kicked herself over that. Sayuri wasn't nearly as sure of things as Yuka and was too afraid of being wrong and getting Akane's hopes up, so she stayed quiet as well. Luna didn't know what to say. She really, really didn't know what to say.

Therefore, they walked home in silence.

"Bye, Akane…" Yuka fidgeted. "Things will go better… I know it."

Akane didn't respond beyond stopping in her tracks and nodding.

Yuka spent a few more seconds standing there like an idiot before turning towards her home.

Two minutes later, Sayuri turned to leave as well. "Good luck, Akane…" was all she said.

The Tendo twins and their cat got home soon enough.

"'Kane… I…" Ami couldn't think of what to say.

Akane just walked to her room, head hung low.

*Slam!* went her door.

Ami sighed. "Great…"

Luna got off of Ami and looked around. "Where's…"

"Father is at a meeting…" Ami walked towards the kitchen. "Big Sister is with her girlfriend."

Ami started making dinner, Akane's favorite.

"Will she be alright?" Luna asked.

"She'll come around," Ami answered. "Just let her cry it out."

Luna nodded and walked away.

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"Akane?" Ami opened the door to her sister's room. "Dinner is ready."

The other twin was curled up in a fetal position.

"I don't feel like eating," Akane spoke in a quiet voice.

Ami sighed and sat on the bed next to her. "You need to eat…"

Akane curled up tighter. "I can eat tomorrow."

Ami shook her head. "You know I can't let you do that. I made your favorite."

"Really?" Akane turned her head towards her sister. "Why?"

"Because that is what sisters are for." Ami smiled.

Akane's head plopped down again. "Thanks… I guess…"

"There's no need," Ami dismissed with a wave of her hand. "I can't let my twin sister be sad, now can I?"

Akane sighed. "No… you're too smart for that. What about Luna?"

"What about her?"

"She should sleep in your room now." Akane curled up even tighter. "You take care of her better and now she has an excuse for being with you. Besides, you're competent…"

"'Kane, I won't let you beat yourself up over this…" Ami ran her hand down Akane's hair. "If it weren't for you, we'd be dead."

"Yeah, right." Akane narrowed her eyes.

"I'm serious. You destroyed the Youma, remember?" Ami reminded her.

Akane's eyebrows eased up. "I did, didn't I?"

Ami nodded. "Now, come. Eat. The food will get cold soon."

Akane unraveled and sat up. "I'll eat…"

"Good, good…" Ami helped her twin up. "You'll always be special to me. You know that, right?"

*Glomp* happened between the twin sisters.

Tears rolled down Akane's face.

The twins embraced for a few moments before heading downstairs to eat.

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The sun had set on the Tendo home. Everyone had gotten ready for bed.

Michiru sat down behind Akane on the youngest Tendo's bed. The older sister was brushing the younger one's hair slowly.

"Akane, Akane, Akane… you have to take better care of your hair, especially when it's this long." Michiru shook her head.

The youngest Tendo sighed. "I know, honorable oldest sister…"

"Why the sad face? You were ecstatic this morning… What happened?" Michiru asked.

"It's not sad… It's… thinking… Yeah…" Akane answered.

"Thinking, hmm?" Michiru smiled. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing…" Akane lied. "Nothing at all… Nothing at all…"

*Ping* A hair got caught.

"Ow!" Akane felt that one.

"Now, now, little sister, when has lying to me done you any good?" Michiru teased.

"Oh, alright…" Akane slumped, chin on her fists. "Ami's a magic girl too…"

"…" Michiru stopped momentarily before continuing. "Oh…"

"Yeah…" Akane blew a hair out of her face. "Oh…"

"Akane…" Michiru was cut off.

"No, I don't need pity. I'll figure this out, Big Sister…" Akane's eyes narrowed. "So what if my twin is a magic girl too? So what? I'll DO BETTER! I'LL BE THE BEST MAGIC GIRL EVER!"

Determination radiated from Akane like uranium.

"As long as you don't hurt yourself… I got a call from Dr. Tofu saying that you hurt yourself in an explosion." Michiru sighed. "It was a Youma… wasn't it?"

"… So?" Akane balled her fists. "I did it to save Ami… I had to kill it… I had to fight…"

"And I don't mind," Michiru stated. "Just don't hurt yourself. You're good enough to do that."

"Well, yeah…" Akane relaxed. "I'm at least better at fighting these things than Ami is. I'm the hammer, Ami's the brains… Even Luna complimented me on defeating it. But I need to get better…"

Michiru hugged Akane from behind. "Glad to see that you're feeling better. Now I don't have to get you ice cream…"

"NOoOoo!" Akane fell on her face. "I love ice cream… I can't resist ice cream… My existence is meaningless without ice cream!"

Michiru giggled and smothered Akane. "Just like every girl, little sister…"

Akane couldn't help but giggle as well. "So… this means the ice cream place is fixed."

"Yes." Michiru smiled. "Tell you what… if you defeat another Youma tomorrow, I'll take you for some ice cream…"

Akane smiled and glomped her sister. "Thank you…"

Michiru smiled mischievously. "Of course, I'll have to bring Haruka as well…"

Akane tried to frown, but she couldn't. "Meanie…"

Michiru laughed and tousled Akane's hair. "What if I make Haruka pay?"

"Deal!" Akane smiled.

Michiru rubbed Akane's back. "Oh, little sister, you're so cute…"

"I am!" Akane laughed. "I feel better now… Thanks…"

Her sister shrugged. "It's what I do."

Akane looked away. "I like you better as a sister than a mom…"

Michiru glomped Akane tighter. "I know… I could never replace her… And I like you better as a sister than a rabbit…"

Akane smiled. "I'm glad I'm not a rabbit… That would be embarrassing. Honestly, I'm glad that my name isn't Rabbit…"

Michiru smirked. "No, you are definitely not like a rabbit… More like a gorilla."

*Smack* Michiru's arm took 3 damage.

"That's for slapping me twice… and for the comment." Akane frowned.

Michiru rubbed her arm. "… I may have deserved that one…"

Akane nodded. "Mm hmm!"

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**Author's notes:** the weirdest thing about this is that I can't tell if Noy is trying to be serious of hilarious. Oh well… thanks for reading. I'm glad this was split… the prologue would have been way too long otherwise. And yes, Yuka and Sayuri are a bit changed as well. It happens when you are friends with a girl like Akane in this.


	4. At the races by twilight

The **Red** Side of a **Blue** _**Moon**_

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** this author, Noy, has not read the Sailor Moon manga. Therefore, all characterizations will be based on the anime… and what information is on the wikis… well… and Fukufics… but, that's like saying you have information used based on what experts told you at KGB… you can't ask them EVERYTHING. It's… just a messed up fic… enjoy! ^_^

**Caution:** both canon series of Ranma ½ and Sailor Moon are 'made fun of' for doing certain things that may or may not be considered stupid. Also, this is not as seriously optimistic as Sailor Moon or as humorously cynical-when-you-think-about-it as Ranma ½. It's somewhere in the middle. Like the jam in a jam sandwich…

**Fusion:** fall is something that I, the Text, can't stop mentioning… it just rolls off the _metaphorical_ tongue since I don't haz one, as you cats would say… ~_^

**Reviews:** are so fun, reviews are so fun, now its time to take a break and see what you haz said! Tri-Emperor of The Twilight, She was written after considerable time thinking how a girl like her would have ended up if she had sisters that were extremely successful all their lives. YAY! THANKS! Praise to me! Praise! Whoo!tuatara, yes, yes it is. Cuz lazy. luger 7,we'd all party more if there were more feedzbackz, as you cats would say...

**Thank:** you, tuatara… since you wanted this SOoOoo bad… and stuff… and everything…

You have been warned…

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**Chapter 3: At the races by twilight…**

Luna nyan-ed in the arms of Michiru as the girl stood with her girlfriend at Haruka's racecar pit.

"Why did you bring a cat with you?" Haruka asked in wonder as she got ready to race. "Wait a minute… I thought that your dad forbade cats after the last one did that thing with your koi …"

Michiru shrugged. "Akane convinced him…"

Haruka smirked. "Why, of COURSE she did… Liar… I can tell… Your lips are moving…"

"Oh, ha ha…" Michiru frowned. "You're right, though… I just vouched for this one… It's taken… a liking to my sister…"

"Then why is it with you?" Haruka asked in puzzlement.

Michiru looked down at Luna. "I don't know… It might be because she's lonely at home…"

Luna ignored the glare from Michiru.

"Now, now… you can't blame the cat… Glaring at it won't help matters…" Haruka rolled her eyes. "It's not like the cat talked you into this…"

'Oh, yes, she did!' Michiru mentally growled. 'AND she won't tell me why… Having her study my every movement for the past half hour is unnerving…'

Luna kept to just making cat noises. 'The weird energy coming off you is making me keep an eye on you, Michiru… You might be something you think you're not…'

Haruka shook her head. "Just give it a rest, would you? Anyway, race is about to start soon. You'd better get to the stands."

Michiru nodded and kissed Haruka. "For good luck… not that you need it…"

Haruka smirked. "Wouldn't hurt…"

"Still… something has been bugging me about you driving a car…" Michiru admitted.

"What?" Haruka hoped that her partner wasn't trying to bring up her dangerous way of driving… again.

Michiru bit her lip. "Is it LE-gal?"

Haruka snarled. "I will MAKE it legal…"

"…" Michiru sighed and closed her eyes. "But, isn't the driving age in Japan…"

Haruka cut her off. "Got a license in America…"

Michiru rolled her eyes. "That doesn't make sense…"

"That's what they WANT you to think." Haruka crossed her arms in triumph.

"Fine… whatever you say…" Michiru sighed and left with Luna.

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"Through the peaceful countryside raced a yellow racecar. Faster and faster the blonde girl drove, for she knew somewhere out there waited-"

*BOOM* The kid announcer was cut off by a car crashing and exploding like a Pinto.

"…" Michiru made a mental sigh of relief as she saw that it wasn't Haruka. "Who let that kid in the booth?"

Luna wondered the same thing and grew suspicious.

Meanwhile, in the booth…

"Are you sure this will work, boss?" a disguised Youma asked its superior.

The other nodded. "Of course it will… Gathering energy from an enthusiastic crowd will be most profitable."

"I suppose…" the Youma murmured. "But still… why do we have a British kid announcing this? A British kid that can't speak Japanese, making us use some of our energy powering a device to translate him into Japanese?"

The boss Youma smirked. "Because we were assigned to find out who killed one of us as well as the experimental Youma."

"I know THAT!" the other growled. "But… how will THIS help?"

The boss's smirk grew wider. "This BOY has been able to draw these 'heroes' out of hiding… somehow… and we have to do this since we have no information on our pest of an enemy."

"You got this from watching that box, didn't you?" the other deadpanned.

The boss roared. "SO **WHAT** IF I DID? That BOX holds key information! This kid was on the box! The stupidity of these humans is INSANE!"

"Wha-at-ever…" The other Youma rolled its eyes.

*Beep! Beep! Beep! BEep!* A console alert went off.

"Hm?" The boss Youma looked it over. "It appears that there is a large energy output amongst the crowd. Curious… this crowd is producing a larger average than those in the south of the city. Maybe there's more energy here in the north…"

"It's centered in on one person in the front row…" the other muttered. "Think it's a Senshi?"

The boss scoffed. "A myth. The Senshi are long dead. V is the last remnants of their power."

"Whatever you say, boss."

"Do you know WHY we're here? Huh?" the boss growled. "It's because we're smart. Smart enough not to be limited to pokémon speak…"

"What?" The Youma was confused.

"…" The boss sighed. "Nevermind…"

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"… The most dreaded bandit of them all, El Conejo!" the little English boy said over the loudspeaker.

Suddenly, in the middle of the dirt path of the track appeared a greenish rabbit wearing too-big-for-it clothes that were at least three hundred years out of style. Its whiskers were curled like a mustache and it sported a giant hat with a very large feather. The rabbit wasn't even that big compared to monsters or Youma, barely three feet tall as it stood on its hind legs, but its sudden appearance shocked Luna. The rest of the crowd, however, wasn't shocked at all; some were merely amused, amazed or excited.

Michiru thought for sure that this was something that was not supposed to happen, more so when the rabbit yelled in English to halt.

Haruka swerved and missed the rabbit as it appeared right in front of her.

"Luna… something about that rabbit doesn't seem right…" Michiru said to the cat in her lap.

Said cat nodded and whispered back. "That rabbit is way too big for normal and is standing up like… like…"

Michiru narrowed her eyes. "Like an animated creature…"

Luna blinked in surprise. "Surely you don't mean…"

*Ring… ring…* Michiru pulled out her iPhone 3GS and dialed Yuka's home phone.

"Huh? Michiru? Where are you?" Yuka asked. "More importantly… why are you calling?"

"No time to explain, do you know any rabbits named El Conejo?" Michiru asked.

"…" Yuka was silent for a minute. "Holy crack, that's an obscure reference…"

"What do you mean?" Michiru asked, surprised.

"Well, I only remembered because I was going through my old foreign videos… It's complicated… More odd is that it wasn't even released in Japan…" Yuka admitted. "I got these as a gift from an aunt that wanted me to learn English…"

"So… is this also connected to a British-sounding boy announcing like he was reading a book?" Michiru bit her lip.

"Oh, yeah. Wait… Christopher Robin is real? Or… it could just be his actor… Still…" Yuka's voice lowered. "Also… Why the HELL is he in JAPAN?"

Michiru's eyes grew wide. "I don't know… but I think this is connected to the Youma…"

"THAT explains why CRASH BANDICOOT was at the ice cream shop!" Yuka cut her off. "The Youma or whoever is behind them are making things in fiction COME TO LIFE! You guys must stop them before they get into serious shows and games!"

The bluish-greenish-haired girl rubbed her ear. "Fine, fine… I've got to go. Contact my sisters, please."

Yuka was breathing quickly. "You're a magic girl too, you know… I'll bet my bribe from you on it."

"What… THAT?" Michiru asked, surprised. "Sure… whatever, I can find that out if I have to. Goodbye."

Luna looked at Michiru with big eyes.

The oldest Tendo girl sighed. "Let's get up to the announcers' booth. Give me what I need when we're alone…"

Luna sweated.

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Ami was drinking water in the kitchen when the phone rang.

"Tendo residence, Ami speaking," the short-haired-that-was-blue girl spoke.

"Oh, hi there! Um… you and your twin need to get over to the race up north… Your sister is in trouble… Youma… trouble." Yuka spoke.

Ami sighed. "I see… We will be there soon."

"Hey, Ami, if you see a magic girl there that has greenish-blueish hair… Can you make sure your sister pays me the bet I made?" Yuka smirked.

"Sure… bye," Ami groaned.

That's when Akane walked by to the stove.

"Alright… I can do this…" Akane stared at the stove. "I can do this…"

"'Kane, we need to go…" Ami announced.

"Huh?" Her twin looked up. "Why?"

"Our older sister is in trouble…" Ami answered.

Akane's eye twitched. "What kind of trouble? Because if she's having troubles with Haruka again, I want out of it…"

Ami looked away. "Youma…"

"Oh… alright, let's go!" Akane smiled. "Race you! 1-2-3-4-go!"

With that, Akane ran off.

Ami shrugged and followed.

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"The target is moving… heading this way," the Youma reported to its boss.

"Good… the plan worked… We have our little hero…" The boss smirked. "Activate the enlarger…"

*Wooom wum woum wooum wom* the machine… thing sounded.

Outside, the rabbit grew and grew and grew some more, becoming thirteen feet tall.

"There, that should be enough to see what this hero is…" the boss laughed.

The people in the stands cheered as the now-giant rabbit stood impressively in the middle of the dirt track.

The cars came around again and swerved wildly.

*BOOM* The giant rabbit stepped on one, the pressure causing it to explode.

"What the?" Haruka muttered as the rabbit missed her car by mere millimeters. "No one told me of a giant rabbit on lap five!"

The crowd, energy being drained at a steady level, cheered wildly at the scene in front of them, not at all scared or worried.

Everyone that is, except a seventeen-year-old girl and a magic cat.

"Not good," Michiru commented as she and Luna crouched under the stairs to the announcers' booth. "Luna, I need whatever it is I need now."

Luna closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and prepared herself for the backlash. "I can't give you anything… One, I don't know if you're a Senshi. Two, if we did know, I still wouldn't know which one you are because my memory is so full of holes right now that I'm surprised that I'm any help at all. Three, I can't just pull out everything I have and try them one by one. There are safety measures… I think… Maybe… We can't take the chance that it could be dangerous."

Michiru groaned. "Then what do we do?"

Luna thought it over, staring at her feet. "Maybe if you tell me anything unusual that happened in your life…"

Michiru sweatdropped. "This is Nerima. You have to be more specific."

"Like… are you really good at something that amazes others? Or unnaturally strong, talented beyond possible… Anything that could be of use, really?"

Michiru had a flashback…

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Seven-year-old Michiru picked up the violin from the stand and tilted her head slightly. "Mommy… what is this?"

Her mother smiled at her. "It is a violin, sweetie. It's a musical instrument."

"Oh…" Chibi Michiru stared at it. 'I… I will play this good… The seas in my head are calm…'

It wasn't often that the waters in Michiru's head were calm. Living in Nerima, they were always so violent and frightening. The very few times they were still, something amazing happened. There was the time she first met Haruka, the time she found 100,000 yen, when she won a gold medal at a swim meet, and the moment before she heard that she was going to be a big sister. That was the very first memory she had, even though she was just over a year old then. Those were the only times she remembered the seas being truly calm.

"Do you want to try it?" Mrs. Tendo asked her oldest daughter, a knowing smile on her face.

Chibi Michiru nodded.

What followed was a beautiful new piece of music that wowed those who could hear it.

Soon, Michiru and her mom were surrounded by people, amazed by what had just happened.

It was one of the best days of Michiru's life.

That evening, though, the seas in chibi Michiru's head were more violent and destructive than ever before, keeping the girl awake all night.

Of course… the best day of her life was literally followed by the worst day of her life. The day that her mother vanished… disappeared forever.

Her whole family took it badly. Her father broke down in tears and never recovered. Ami dedicated her life to study, most of the light gone from her eyes. Akane grew angrier and angrier for a while before seeming to be calm, but when she let her temper flare, it was downright frightening. Michiru herself tried to keep the family together, maturing fast and being the one to fix her family's problems, her sophisticated nature becoming dominant and rarely enjoying herself when away from Haruka.

The memory of that first time playing a violin was forever a part of her life that she could not forget.

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"Michiru… MICHIRU!" Luna called out to the spacy-looking girl.

Michiru shook her head. "I'm sorry, I was having a flashback."

Luna looked back to the track, where the giant rabbit was making a terrible scene. "Did you remember anything that could help?"

Michiru closed her eyes as the seas in her head calmed. 'The city needs you…' a voice that sounded very much like her own echoed over the seas. 'Be awakened, Senshi of the Sea. Use the power of Neptune to save them and your lover. You know what to do.'

The girl's eyes shot open.

Her cat companion stared at Michiru as the girl looked down, eyes closed.

"I must transform, Earth needs me. For the biggest threat in the solar system is here on Earth. Grant me the power of Neptune for I say…" Michiru thrust her hand in the air, {Neptune Planet Power!}

As Michiru had her over-the-top transformation sequence on her end, Luna, meanwhile, berated herself for being surprised at all.

Less than a second and a quarter later, Sailor Neptune stood, arms crossed and a calm look on her face.

The black cat had a sudden resurgence of memory. 'Wait… Neptune! She is one of the the Senshi who are supposed to deal with outside threats! We now have a great power here… Why do I have a bad feeling about this?'

Michiru looked down. "Stay here… I have a rabbit to drown…"

Luna sweatdropped. 'That bad feeling just got worse…'

With that, Neptune bounded off.

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"This! Is a hold-up!" snarled El Conejo.

"Wow, these 3D effects are awesome!" a tiny boy said in the stands, his sentiment agreed to by the rest of the audience.

The giant rabbit, which was now wearing freakishly huge clothes… and a hat… was going to attack the people in the stands when something jumped right in front of it.

"Have no fear, citizens!" the figure announced, "For it is I, the Masked Sailor Moon!"

"Oh, no, it's the Masked… Masked Sailor Moon!" The Rabbit ran off. "Help!"

Akane stood there a moment dumbfounded before chasing after it. "Hey! Come back here, you overgrown jackrabbit! I have to defeat you and turn you to dust!"

Neptune had a leg on the guardrail right behind the crowd and put her leg back down.

"Yuka says to pay up," Ami announced as she, already transformed, stood right behind her sister. "Do you know what caused this to happen? Or did it just show up?"

Michiru turned towards her sister. "Come, let's head for the announcers' booth, then… Moon has the situation over there handled."

Ami nodded and followed her sister up the stairs, the magic girls shadowed by Luna.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

*Zoom!* Haruka raced in her yellow racecar across the track.

"Go, Speed Racer, go, Speed Racer…" Haruka sang to herself quietly. "Go, Speed Racer, goOOoo…"

Haruka was in the lead by a country mile.

"Yeah! This is _too_ easy… That's all you've got, competition? Losers… I eat losers like you for breakfast. An-n-n-d… lapped you! Heh, only one more lap to go." Haruka smirked as she passed by the crowd. "Wonder where that rabbit went…"

Suddenly, she spied a rabbit that was giant in the middle of the track. It was running away with a girl who was scantily dressed and dragging her feet as she grabbed the rabbit's tail, her red boots digging into the dirt.

The rabbit was so big and green that even Haruka couldn't pass it…

The blonde girl narrowed her eyes and floored it.

… Or could she?

Akane, meanwhile, was just trying to slow down the rabbit so that she could kill it. "Stop being such a coward, you stupid rabbit! You seem somewhat familiar, but… who cares! Just stop running away like this!"

Of course, the rabbit didn't listen and was instead screaming and running through the forest.

Without warning, however, a yellow racecar driven by the best damn Japanese racer since a guy NAMED Speed zoomed past her and the rabbit…

"YEOWL!" Rabbit yelled out in pain.

… Only to drive over the rabbit's foot while tilting, which got her 20 bonus points.

Suddenly, the demeanor of the rabbit changed and its eyes grew red.

With a roar that shouldn't come out of a rabbit, giant, were or not, the greenish rabbit angrily picked up speed, eyes locked onto the yellow racecar.

"Hey! What is going O-ohn-nnn!" Akane screamed as her legs lifted up into the air, her body flying horizontally as she was pulled by the rabbit.

*Zoom* Haruka's car raced on, gaining speed to keep from being smashed.

The lesbian racecar driver got a look behind her in the rearview mirror and smirked. "So… it's a race you want, huh, rabbit? I'll give you a race! Can't catch me!"

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice!" were the words of the narrator as Sayuri watched old episodes of _Super Friends_.

*Sip* Sayuri drank her soda.

*Creachunch chew chew* Sayuri ate her popcorn.

Things were just about to get good when the phone rang.

A bit irritated, Sayuri paused the TV and answered the phone.

"Hey, Sayuri, guess what?" Yuka asked over the phone excitedly.

"No," Sayuri said quickly. "You're ruining my night alone with _Super Friends_. Do you know how hard it was to get them? A Western anime filmed live with only a few copies in AMERICA, not to mention that it wasn't ever released in Japan! I had to get it online, outbidding 882 people! Sure, it's in English, but you know that I know how to understand it. Now… leave me alone for the next twenty-two minutes!"

*Slam* Sayuri did that to the phone and made her way back to watching her old Western anime.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

While Akane was dealing with the giant rabbit, her sisters and her mooncat were sneaking into the announcers' booth.

"So… Neptune, then, huh?" Mercury confirmed as she leaned against the wall to the booth. "I've tinkered with this laptop… Using a few settings, and this reverse-engineered scouter that A-… Moon made me make for a convention, mixed with the computer's own eyepiece, I can see that on the other side of this wall are a total of three people and a dozen different pieces of technology."

Neptune nodded in thought as Luna looked on from the top of the railing.

"I've determined that… Wait… one of them is coming towards the door…" Mercury stated and got herself ready.

Neptune got up against the wall and Luna hid herself.

*KABOOMY!* The whole area outside of the door exploded in a huge fireball.

"AHHHH!" People screamed as the explosion shook the area behind them.

Well… a woman screamed and ran away in sheer terror… Most just oohed and ahhed.

As the spectacle continued and the crowd looked at the destroyed area with popcorn in their hands, the Senshi of Water and Seas (and a mooncat) were coughing up smoke in a destroyed area right outside of the announcers' booth.

With the smoke heavy and blocking the public's view, the Youma stood smug right outside the door to the booth.

"Well, well, well… Senshi," the Youma laughed. "So, you're the ones who've been killing my kind. Can't have that, can we?"

With that, the Youma charged.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Meanwhile, Moon mused mightily over her predicament as she was flying through the air, holding onto a rabbit's tail. The explosion she heard behind her only made her grip tighter.

Once she realized what it could mean, however, Akane screamed in rage and put her foot down, right into the ground.

Her boot dug into the dirt and picked up dust, slowing the rabbit down slightly.

With anger, Akane put her other foot down right into the ground, slowing the rabbit's movement more.

Stable now, Akane growled and pulled down.

*CRASH* The rabbit hit a tree in full force, knocking it over into another tree, that hit another tree like dominoes.

"Whoa!" Haruka dodged and weaved her car as trees started falling around her. "Jeez! What the hell?"

The yellow racecar went as fast as it could as the trees crashed down, avoiding them by centimeters as it sped through the forest.

*Crash, crash, boom, crash* The trees fell over in a massive heap, growing and creating more damage by the second, making it seem that Haruka was driving away from a slow-moving explosion… Or "slowish," as she was hitting 117 kph and was barely ahead of the desctruction.

Haruka saw the finish nearing as the tree line ended. The yellow racecar made it across, braking and spinning in a donut as it finished first.

The giant rabbit, however, was facedown in the dirt with Sailor Moon on top of it.

"Ptewewe! Hair on my tougne! Yuck!" Akane stood on top of the rabbit, which was starting to stir. "Oh, no, you don't! Moon Tiara Action!"

The spinning disk of light cut the rabbit's head off and the whole thing turned into dust.

"That was easy…" Akane said to herself as she walked back to the stands that were on the other side of the fallen trees.

Haruka finally got her car to stop as she took deep breaths to calm herself down after that huge adrenaline rush.

"That was fanfreaking tastic!" Haruka climbed out of her car window to see her fans.

The blonde girl's jaw dropped.

Everywhere, instead of cheering fans, were unconscious people as far as the eye could see; the announcers' booth was on fire with smoke blocking the view.

Haruka fell to her knees in shock. "What… what the? Who…"

The lesbian racecar driver's answer was met in the sight of Sailor Neptune flying towards her at high speeds.

"Haruka! Look out!" Neptune called out before crashing headfirst into her lover.

*BONK!* The two girls hit heads.

Haruka, consciousness fading, saw Neptune straddling her, on her hands and knees.

"Mich-Michiru?" Haruka asked before falling into unconsciousness.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Five seconds before…

The Youma jumped down and hit Neptune, who was bigger and therefore considered the bigger threat.

As it was so sudden, Neptune didn't have time to react and was sent flying with the swing.

Mercury saw this and quickly responded. "Mercury Bubble Blast!"

The whole area now covered with bubbles, Mercury was able to get up from the rubble and move to a safer distance to catch her breath and regroup.

"Running away?" the Youma sneered. "How original… It's the same trick your queen used… in a way…"

Mercury looked down at Luna, who was just getting onto her feet nearby. "Luna… are you alright?"

The mooncat shook her fur to get rid of the dust. "Good enough… I will scout ahead… Good luck."

With that, the mooncat left the Youma to Mercury.

"He-e-e-e-y Senshi…" the Youma laughed. "Where ar-e-e-e you? Thinking about getting help from the normals? Good luck with that. They don't have any ENERGY left…"

Mercury thought over her situation, using the Mercury Laptop for help as she found the "analyze" button.

With a smile, the blue-haired Senshi of Water got her knowledge… which is power… especially to her.

Unfortunately, the timer ran out on the bubbles as they disappeared, allowing the Youma to see Mercury.

"Your time is up… Senshi…" The Youma smirked.

*Snikt* Wolverine-like claws shot out from her fists.

Mercury's eyebrows rose a bit, but she remained calm. The girl looked to her right and saw what she needed.

With a smug grin, the Youma charged the girl.

*Bonk* That's when Mercury kicked a big piece of ruble straight at the Youma's head, knocking it over.

"Ow! That hurt…" the Youma seethed. "Unfotunately for you, Senshi, I can heal-"

It was then that Mercury was right on top of the Youma, hands right in front of its eyes.

"Mercury Bubble Blast!" Mercury screamed.

With the bubbles being shot directly into the Youma's eyes, Mercury was able to run to her right to get what she needed.

"ARRGGG!" the Youma screamed. "Cursed Senshi!"

As the Youma rubbed its eyes to no avail, it felt pressure on its neck.

"YOU aren't going anywhere," Neptune spoke as she grabbed the Youma by the neck.

*PAUNCH* Neptune slammed her fist into where a kidney would be.

"You… think… you can defeat… me?" the Youma struggled. "Take… THIS!"

With a swipe, the Youma brought its hand back, catching Neptune across the stomach.

Neptune screamed in pain, but didn't release the Youma.

"You're tougher than I thou**AHHH**!" the Youma yelled in pain as Neptune decided to do something about the situation.

*RIPPP!* The Youma's left arm was torn out of its socket and thrown away.

*Woommpp* The metallic-ish sound effect caused the severed arm with metal claws to move with a jerk to the right, disappearing from view.

"Huh… what is…?" Neptune's eyes widened to see Mercury driving a crane with a giant electromagnet… and a severed arm stuck on its magnet.

A smirk coming to her face, Neptune threw the Youma as hard as she could at Mercury's magnet.

*Wooommmpp* The magnet got a hold of the metal claws of the Youma and brought it to her.

"AHHH!" The Youma was now stuck to the magnet. "Not good…"

Neptune walked up to the crane. "How did?"

Mercury smiled. "Once I knew that it had metal in the wrists, it was just a matter of getting an electromagnet. I saw one on the way here…"

"Now… to finish you off…" Neptune narrowed her eyes.

The Youma struggled, dangling from its arm. "Grow, arm… grow!"

Neptune lowered her head. "Too late… By the powers of Neptune… DEEP SUBMERGE!"

The Youma stared in horror as a giant ball of water hurtled towards it.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Luna peeked into the announcers' booth, her body ready to flee.

Inside, the mooncat saw a Youma walking towards a blond-haired boy in a booth…

"There… that's enough for today, Christopher…" the Youma spoke to the boy. "You may return to England."

The boy nodded and after being given a piece of paper, vanished through a portal conceived by the Youma.

The Youma then walked over and spoke into a piece of machinery. "1019, I am sending the boy to you… He might be useful in capturing and/or destroying Sailor V. Good luck."

Luna watched carefully from the doorway as the Youma laughed and moved over to another piece of equipment.

"And with the energy from this crowd… Queen Beryl will be pleased, indeed… I do hope 882 can deal with those two energy sources quickly…" the Youma growled. "I hate being late."

As the Youma was about to walk away, the machine pinged.

"Oh, looky here… it seems there is someone else alive and moving, after all…" The Youma smiled. "I think I'll be taking this human's energy personally…"

With that, the Youma left, Luna carefully following.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

*Boom! Sizzle ZZZT crash!* The electromagnet fell to the ground with a thud.

Neptune walked over to the downed magnet smugly. "That was easy…"

"Dust…" Mercury noticed the pile of dust coming from under the magnet. "It's dead…"

Neptune leaned down to examine it when the magnet moved upward.

"Think fast!" The Youma said suddenly, appearing from underneath the magnet.

*Kick* The Youma kicked Neptune right on the chin, sending her out of sight.

Mercury quickly got out of the crane in response.

"*Cough* I'm not crazy enough to stick around here…" The Youma, now fully visible, had its left arm missing and the stub burnt by electricity. "Great… looks like that won't be growing back… Magically dusted… Regardless, the Dark Kingdom will always triumph, Senshi!"

With that, the Youma disappeared, laughing.

Mercury frowned and ran towards her sister.

Meanwhile, in the air…

'Great… it survived… And this is high up… Damn, that hurt… The landing will be worse, though…' Neptune thought as she rubbed her chin and winced. 'Maybe a tree will brea- Oh, great, a car… HARUKA'S CAR!'

Neptune's eyes widened as she came down right on top of her lover. "Haruka! Look out!"

*BONK!* The two girls hit heads.

Able to get on her hands and knees, Neptune looked right into Haruka's eyes.

"Mich-Michiru?" Haruka asked before falling into unconsciousness.

Michiru frowned and sighed before getting to her feet. "Oh, Ruka…"

The blueish-greenish-haired girl dragged her unconscious lover into a yellow racecar.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Mercury!" Luna ran to the blue-haired girl while she was climbing over a giant pile of rubble. "Wait! Mercury!"

"Luna." Mercury turned towards the running mooncat. "Yes?"

"The other Youma is the boss and… and… *cough* sorry… I'm just so… so tired… *cough* I think… think…" Luna wobbled on her feet. "Think…"

Mercury caught the mooncat as it passed out from exhaustion.

With a sigh, the magic girl continued on to see where her older sister went.

It didn't take long for her to find her sibling.

"Ammm-… Mercury…" Neptune corrected herself. "It seems that you took care of that Youma. Wait, what happened to Luna?"

Mercury took a deep breath. "She's exhausted. Smoke in her lungs, most likely. It… Isn't that Haruka's car?"

Neptune nodded. "She's… out of it for the moment…"

Mercury bit her lip. "We should leave Luna here with Haruka while we go see what happened to Moon… That rabbit might still be out there."

Neptune agreed and it was done.

Mercury got out her laptop from who knows where when her eyes widened.

"Neptune! It's-" Mercury was cut off by a laugh.

"Well, well, well… now, what do we have here?" The Boss Youma stepped into the moonlight, a slasher smile on its face. "Senshi. Sailor… Senshi… It appears that my subordinate couldn't deal with you… A shame, really…"

Neptune growled and Mercury typed insanely fast.

*Slice* The Mercury Laptop was cut in half, the screen separated from the keyboard.

Both Sailor Senshi were shocked and Mercury was face to face with the Youma, katana in hand.

"Because now I don't have anyone to gloat over until I get back home…" The Youma swung its katana again.

This time, Mercury was ready and the strike missed the girl as she ducked under the slash.

"Mercury Bubble Blast!" The Senshi of Water blurted out and the entire area filled with bubbles.

The katana came down right towards Mercury…

"DEEP SUBMERGE!" Neptune yelled and a giant ball of water was sent at the Youma.

Both targets, however, dodged and the katana was driven into the ground, the Youma using it to keep its body in the air as the area where it had stood was now a huge crater of dirt and mud.

Thinking fast, Mercury rolled on the ground and got up a few feet away, ready to move quickly.

"Deep Submerge!" Neptune shouted again, not wasting any time.

The Youma, of course, dodged the blast to the left, but also had the wisdom to throw its katana in the direction from where the blast came.

Neptune tried to get out of the sudden and surprising move of a thrown blade, but she didn't have to reflexes to do so perfectly…

"AHHH!" Neptune yelled in pain as the katana gazed her side as it flew by, landing close to Mercury.

A laugh echoed throughout the area. "I have you now…"

*Shing* The Youma pulled out another katana from its back and its smile widened.

Mercury, who had just enough information to find out a weakness, picked up the katana and ran forward.

"Deep Submerge!" Neptune yelled again, a sliver of panic in her voice… only a sliver.

*Splash* The katana cut right through the giant ball of water and it split the attack in two, causing one half to go on each side of the Youma.

"SSSSS…" the Youma sneered since some of the water did splash onto its skin. "I'll enjoy this…"

The Youma charged and Neptune fretted to get an attack off.

*Clang* Two swords clashed and sparked.

To both Neptune and the Youma's surprise, Mercury had the other katana and was using it to block a strike from the blade in the Youma's hands as it was about to cut into Neptune.

With both combatants less than a meter in front of her, Neptune's heartbeat skyrocketed, seeing how close she was to death.

{Do it now!} Mercury spoke in English. {Youma can't heal from magic attacks!}

In response, Neptune got her body ready, while the Youma…

"OOF!" Mercury fell to the ground as she was kneed in the stomach, dropping the katana in the process.

The bubbles finally disappeared and the Youma could clearly see its victims.

Neptune shouted her attack once more, but it was dodged once again and a kick to the head caused the Senshi of Neptune to spiral to the ground.

"You've been a pain," the Youma growled as it looked down at Mercury, who was still on her hand and knees, clutching her stomach.

It then smirked and sent its katana in a downwards, decapitating arc.

Suddenly, a voice was heard in the distance. "MOON TIARA ACTION!"

The Youma was distracted enough to turn its head only to see a spinning disk come right at its face.

With a yelp, the Youma turned to dodge, its strike missing Mercury completely.

"AHHHHHHH!" But it was not enough, as the Youma was cut by the attack on the cheek, causing it to scream in pain. "ARGGG! You… YOU! Ha! You still missed-"

*PAUNCH!* Moon was on top of the Youma already, fist driven into its chin.

"Shoryuken!" Moon cried out as she landed the punch. "I _knew_ one of these days it would miss… idiot."

The Youma fell to the ground, rolling with the punch before it stood up furiously. Sailor Moon picked up the other katana from the ground with her foot and caught it with her left hand, a smug look appearing of her face.

"En garde," the long-blue-haired girl said, pointing the katana at the Youma.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Haruka woke with a stir as her car shook violently due to the shockwave. She opened her eyes to a view of a cat sitting in her lap… One that looked familiar…

With a shake of her head, Haruka tried to remember what happened previously when she heard a scream.

"MOON TIARA ACTION!" the voice yelled loudly.

Haruka turned her head to see a flash of light and a girl… in a mask and a good-looking sailor fuku, if Haruka were any judge of school uniforms. Which she was.

Now, with Sailor Moon keeping Haruka's full attention focused on what was happening to her left, she didn't notice the destruction around her… or Luna stirring.

However, she was distracted by the sound of a cough.

Turning her head away from the window, Haruka saw the cat, coughing and wheezing terribly.

'That's just great…' Haruka thought. 'I have the Tendos' pet cat here while a girl in a revealing skirt is fighting some red and black monstrous-looking… thing… with a katana! Damn, where's Michiru? Probably in that fire… Wait… she bumped heads with me and…'

*Cough* Haruka felt her throat quickly drying in the heat.

'Well, guess it's up to me to put out that fire and get this cat to a vet. Michi was wearing the same sexy-looking uniform that girl was, so that means she's fighting that thing…' Haruka sighed. 'Crazy feeling to go out there and protect her… yeah, right… I'm no fighter. That's my brother's way of doing things.'

Feeling she had no choice, Haruka raced out of the area towards the city.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Heh, heh, heh…" the Youma laughed. "Picking a swordfight with me? What an idiot."

Sailor Moon smirked. "No, YOU are the idiot…"

"Mercury Bubble Blast!" the closest Senshi to the Sun spewed in a hurry.

With bubbles flooding the area, Moon struck first.

"Ahhh!" the Youma screamed as it was slashed across its middle. "THAT'S IT!"

"Deep Submerge!" Neptune cried out.

"Whoa!" Moon jumped back as the attack missed both of the combatants.

The Youma backflipped multiple times until it was out of the obstructing bubbles.

Sailor Moon rushed forward, one hand grabbing her tiara.

"Moon Tiara Action!" the Senshi cried out, flinging her tiara.

A spinning disk came out of the bubbles, causing the Youma to duck out of the way…

*SPushckk*

… Only to be impaled in the chest by the katana thrown by Sailor Moon.

"ARRGGG!" the Youma screeched.

Moon caught her tiara with her left hand as she exited the bubbles.

*Spact* And used it to puncture the Youma in the left eye.

'Screw this, I'm out of here!' the Youma thought.

*Kick* The Youma kicked Sailor Moon backwards with its foot and, due to the momentum, the Senshi went flying.

"Deep Submerge!" Neotune shouted once again.

*BOOM* A huge crater appeared where the Youma was just a moment before.

All three Senshi gathered around the large crater.

"It's dead," Neptune said.

Mercury went to grab her pieces of her laptop.

"No, it isn't," Moon denied. "It just teleported… We're supposed to THINK its dead…"

Neptune raised an eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"

Akane untransformed and shrugged. "Way too powerful, smart, marketable… We have ourselves a recurring villain."

Ami came back and nodded. "The other one escaped as well. It would appear that Akane is right."

The youngest Tendo posed with a thumbs-up gesture. "Good job!"

Michiru sighed. "I suppose you're right…"

*ScreeechH!" Spinning tires signaled the arrival of Haruka's car.

"Hey there, beautiful girls…" the racecar driver smiled.

Akane crossed her arms, Ami bowed and Michiru ran up to the car.

"Ruka, there you are…" Michiru smiled. "Where've you been?"

Haruka shrugged. "Took your pet to the vet, got the fire department up here."

As soon as she said that, the fire department showed up in huge numbers.

Akane walked over to the car. "Take. Me. To. LUNA!"

Haruka smiled. "Alright, alright…"

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Later, at the veterinarian's office…

"Wah, wah, wah-wah, wah," the adult said on the TV.

"No, sir, I just-" Charlie Brown tried to defend himself.

"Wah, wah-wah, wah, wah."

"Yes, sir, Sorry, sir…" Charlie Brown gulped.

*Click* The door opened.

"That was awkward…" Akane mused as she was followed out of the room by Ami carrying Luna. "Good thing that… Hey!"

Michiru and Haruka stopped kissing each other and glanced at Akane.

"What?" Michiru asked.

"Honestly!" Akane threw her arms into the air. "You two are… Ooh… Peanuts… not too often that they show that here… Anyway, we haz Luna, as she would say, and… Why are you facepalming?"

Ami sighed. "My twin thinks our cat can talk."

Haruka raised an eyebrow. "Really, now? It would go with you three battling a monster…"

The other two Tendos' eyes widened.

Akane had her excited face on. "There was a monster! What was it like? Why do you think I fought it? *gasp* Ami has super twin powers!"

Haruka tilted her head in confusion. "But it must be you… Michiru was wearing one of those outfits, I know it… I think I recognized Ami… The last one was hard to identify, she was wearing a mask… But you three were together, so it was obviously you. Not to mention that you twins weren't there to see me race earlier."

Luna had both of her paws on her face.

"No way! Nuh uh, can't be me!" Akane protested. "I would kill to be a magic girl-"

Akane hastily covered her mouth.

The room was quiet, as the only ones in there were the Tendos and Haruka… and a mooncat.

"…" Haruka opened and closed and opened her mouth. "Magic girl?"

"Damn it!" Akane grunted. "I had to go and mess it up…"

Michiru sighed. "Yes, my sisters and I are magic girls…"

"Which irritates me that older sister had to be one as well!" Akane seethed. "And be crazy powerful to boot!"

"Akane…" Ami tried to calm her twin.

"But **I **was the one who did the best and actually caused damage!" Akane's mood whiplashed. "So **I** am the hero… heroine… But still… yeah."

"Magic girl?" Haruka asked in shock again.

Akane nodded. "Yes, yes… Magic girls… in a martial arts and crafts ward. Weird… but it works somehow."

Ami sighed. "Don't tell anyone… It would be very, very, excruciatingly bad."

Haruka nodded. "Sure, don't tell people that I'm dating a magic girl…"

Michiru placed an arm on Haruka's. "Ruka…"

The blonde's face lit up. "I'm dating a magic girl!"

Luna sweatdropped as Haruka laughed.

"This. Is. Awesome!" the racecar driver cackled.

"Yeah, yeah, you're dating a magic girl, yada-yada-yada…" Akane rolled her eyes. "But if your brother or the other boys in school find out…"

*Wham* Akane punched her fist into her palm.

"…" Akane narrowed her eyes at Haruka. "Got it?"

Haruka nodded.

"Good…" Akane crossed her arms.

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*Ring* went the phone.

"What is it, Yuka?" Sayuri sighed.

"It's been twenty-two minutes… I'm betting that Michiru is a magic girl. Also, there was a fire at the racetrack up north. A bunch of people have gone to the hospital. Very bad…" Yuka answered.

"No betting. Bye." Sayuri hung up the phone and walked over to the TV.

*Click* She pressed play.

The _Super Friends_ ending theme played over the credits.

Sayuri drank her drink and read the names as best she could.

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**Author's notes:** yes, it was a bit longer than usual, but it had to for the fight scenes. This chapter really says a lot about how this fic will play out, serious, but not really… its weird. Till next time, I amz the Text!


	5. Getting engaged without fright

The **Red** Side of a **Blue **_**Moon**_

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** the end (of the world) is near! At least, that's what they WANT you to think! O_o

**Caution:** controversy about this chapter is very, very likely. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

**Fusion:** fall… is A GAME. You're welcome.

**Reviews:** I like responding to them like this... unlike SOME people! Aceina, The what? Um... yeah she CAN fight, but doesn't PREFER to, rather, making love to the ladies. ^_^ Hishin Trueflame, very much. In China. You'd think so wouldn't you? tuatara, yes, obscure reference. Make sure that gets on the TV tropes page. Eric-Brune, Is Haruka lesbian? kazekitsune666 , while Akane isn't any of our favorite characters, she IS crazy in this one. Compucles, yes, um, I don't remember the specifics being like THAT... how much of a bet? Ha! luger 7, is it Tuesday already? hero in a cup, GUESS! Guess! The TEXT Commands YOU! Tri-Emperor of The Twilight, Why, thank you, here's more! Yay!

**Thanks:** to tuatara for editing. Fukufics gives advice as well…

You have been warned….

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**Chapter 4: Getting engaged without fright…**

It was Sunday at the Tendo home and three sisters were in a dojo… Their dojo…

"So… YAAH!" Akane punched the air. "We agree that since no one died… YAHH! That we didn't lose…"

Michiru frowned as she sat at the edge of the dojo. "There were six people sent to the hospital with a million yen damage and twenty-seven fallen trees."

Akane did a leg sweep against her imaginary opponent. "So? I think it's a draw, then… YAHH! They got their energy, you got one arm and I scared them! Yah!"

"That doesn't mean it's a tie, little sister." Michiru shook her head.

Akane smirked. "Did we see a Youma since? Hmm? They're scared of me! YAHH!"

"No, it just means we haven't found more yet," Michiru corrected. "There has been production loss in the Minato ward with people being found unconscious all over the place. I have a feeling it could be Youma."

Akane hurricane kicked. "Well then, let's go down there and kick some Youma! Ha!"

Michiru thought it over. "Maybe…"

"Hey, Ami, is it done yet?" Akane asked her twin.

"Just about… now." Ami smiled. "That should do it…"

"Ooh… Let me see!" Akane rushed over to where her sister was sitting on the floor.

Ami waited until Michiru walked over to show her sisters. "Here it is… the Mercury Tablet."

In her hand was a touchscreen tablet with the Mercury symbol on the back.

"Ooh…" Akane was wide eyed.

"Full touch screen, voice command, powered by magic with a built-in camera and a processor that can perform analyses over 9,000 times faster than the laptop," Ami explained.

Akane had to struggle not to laugh. "What? 9,000? There's no way that can be right!"

Both of her sisters rolled their eyes.

"Good job, little sister…" Michiru was cut off by Akane.

"Does it play _Angry Birds_?" The gleeful 16-year-old asked.

"…" Ami blinked. "No…"

"Any other games?" Akane asked quickly.

"No… it's not made for games…" Ami sighed.

"How about playing videos? Music? Anything?" Akane was losing it.

"No," Ami answered, "though it does have Word, Excel and PowerPoint."

Akane rubbed her chin. "Well… not really useless… Does it have Flash?"

Ami nodded. "Yes."

"Good enough for me!" Akane stood triumphantly. "Hey, let's show Luna… I'll get her!"

With that, Akane ran out of the dojo.

Michiru hugged Ami. "Good job."

"Thanks." Ami smiled.

Of course, that's when Soun ran into the room, full of excitement. "Daughters! I have the most wonderful news! Family meeting and… Where's Akane?"

"With Luna," Michiru answered. "What is this good news?"

"I'll explain shortly!" Soun answered excitedly. "Get your sister and meet me at the table! Oh, happy day!"

The sisters looked at each other and shrugged.

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"Luna…" Akane stuck her head into her room, a giant grin on her face. "Whatcha doin'?"

Luna, on a giant cushion on the floor, looked up tiredly. "Resting… nearly healed… and trying to remember more about our enemy."

"Well…" Akane came in, still smiling madly. "It'll be easier now since my twin, the supergenius Ami, fixed the laptop by making it a TABLET!"

The cat from the moon smiled. "Good news…"

"Oh! And I haz a new poster!" Akane pulled out a poster. "As you cats would say…"

Luna groaned. "Cats do not speak that way- What is THAT?"

The poster that Akane had was a black cat fixing a TV with a caption of [Don't worryz. TVRepair kitty iz here.]

"It's a cat… FIXING A TV!" Akane had her eyes shut so hard that they turned into greater-than and less-than signs as she became super deformed for a second. "Can _you_ fix a TV?"

Luna sweatdropped, facepalmed, AND her eye twitched.

Akane didn't notice. "I'll put it here right above you."

Just as Akane finished and Luna was going to bang her head, the door opened to reveal Ami.

"Hey, 'Kane, Father has called a meeting… Seems important." Ami looked down at Luna. "How are you doing?"

Akane groaned. "Fine, fine, I'll go…"

Luna shrugged. "I can walk downstairs…"

"NO!" Akane picked up her mooncat advisor. "I won't let you hurt yourself now!"

Luna sighed in Akane's arms. "Fine, fine… But let Ami carry me… please?"

Akane frowned. "Sorry, Luna…" she said with a sigh.

With that Akane left her room, eyes downcast.

Luna, now in Ami's arms, looked up to the short-haired girl. "She has so much enthusiasm…"

Ami sighed. "She thinks she figured it out… Let's go."

And then the room was empty.

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"What?" Akane placed her hands to her cheeks. "How could you?"

"…" Soun raised an eyebrow. "I… didn't say anything yet…"

"Oh…" Akane lowered her hands. "It just felt like the right thing to say. These meetings don't ever have good news."

Her sisters reluctantly nodded in agreement while Luna stared in confusion.

Soun whined. "But it IS good news! Today I got a postcard saying that my training buddy Saotome and his son Ranma are coming here! But more importantly, one of you is going to marry Ranma!"

"What?" Ami and Michiru asked disbelievingly in unison.

Akane rolled her eyes and crossed her arms smugly. "Told ya."

Michiru struggled to speak her mind. "Father… I cannot take part in this…"

Soun laughed. "But of course you can. This is family honor. Saotome and I engaged you before you were born."

Ami spoke up. "Father, he's only one person. It would be better if Akane or I took this burden."

Michiru's eyes widened in shock.

Soun tapped his lips. "Well, we weren't specific on whom… I will allow this."

Michiru let out a sigh of relief. {Thank you, little sister…}

{You're welcome.} Ami replied. {I wonder why Akane hasn't said anything.}

Both sisters look over to Akane.

Their sister was staring at Luna, mouth open and eyes wide.

Soun was too busy congratulating himself to notice.

Luna, however, did and was freaking out.

"Akane, you're scaring me…" Luna spoke nervously.

Suddenly, Akane's open mouth started to slowly turn into a wide grin.

Ami waved a hand in front of her twin's face. "Akane?"

"I'm the princess…" Akane said in shock.

Luna sighed. "No, I'm pretty sure that…"

Akane interrupted her in a loud voice. "IMMA MOON PRINCESS!"

"Akane…" Ami was interrupted.

"Don't you see?" Akane was ecstatic. "It's the only way this makes sense!"

Soun came out of his world and stared. "Huh?"

"I have a brooch, you two have pens, I'm Sailor Moon, and the MOON princess is from the MOON! Why SHOULDN'T they be the same?" Akane was flapping her arms so fast they were a blur. "But what clinched it was THIS!"

Michiru tilted her head. "Akane, what does this agreement have to do with anything?"

"There are at least ten Senshi, Mercury and Neptune are my sisters, what do we all have in common? WATER!" Akane's eyes were greater-than and less-than signs again. "Wait… that part isn't… Whatever. But getting ENGAGED! Why would a magic girl get married to someone random? This guy would be a magic BOY! The only planet that makes sense is EARTH! It's compatible with MOON! EARTH'S MOON! Sure, there are other moons, which means there might be like 117 Senshi, but then why am I called Sailor MOON? Huh? HUH? It just makes sense. Which means this guy is a prince! And he has to have a jerkass façade to keep other, non-worthy girls away!"

Everyone else was silent, weather through shock or something else.

A moment passed. Then two.

Finally, Luna spoke up. "_What?_"

Akane's shoulders slumped. "Oh, come ON!"

Soun blinked. "Does this mean you accept the engagement?"

"Huh? Yeah, sure." Akane was feeling deflated.

Ami patted her twin on the back. "I am very proud of you, 'Kane."

Soun cried twin rivers of tears. "The schools shall be joined!"

That's when yelling was heard right outside the door.

"Must be Ranma." Michiru hugged Akane. "Thank you, little sister. Now go meet your fiancé."

Soun was already down the hall, arms like noodles.

Akane followed and thought to herself. 'OK, you have to be very, very careful, Akane. This guy will pretend to be a jerk but he's not… This might involve perverted stuff too, so listen to him and believe in anything he says, right? Got it? Good. Thank you, brain! Now look presentable and- Why is Dad running this way?'

Charging towards Akane was a giant panda carrying a tiny redhead.

"Stop it!" the redhead spoke angrily. "You're scaring them spitless!"

Akane blinked and started waving her arms up and down like a chibi character. "Hey! Bad panda! You're a terrible animal advisor running through someone's home like this!"

This got the panda to stop and look at Akane in confusion. Then it put the redhead down off its shoulders.

Akane rolled her eyes. "Honestly. Hi there, I'm Akane. Are you Ranma?"

The redhead nodded. "I'm Ranma Saotome… Sorry about this…"

Soun, who was hiding under the table with a certain mooncat, popped his head up. "At last you came!"

Ranma's eyes went wide as Soun hugged the redhead.

After a second, though, the father of three let go, face in shock.

'Oh, great… What does he mean by THAT?' Akane resisted rolling her eyes. 'I wonder what to say to him. What kind of girl does the best? Wow, he's shorter than me… Pigtails are nice… Wonder why…'

Akane's eyes widened as her father stuttered.

Ami, who was reading a book, flipped a page and deadpanned an answer. "He's a girl."

'Damn it!' Akane thought. 'I just thought he was bishonen! A pretty boy with a Napoleon complex! Wait… maybe this is a gender-bender martial arts magic girl mix thing…'

Soun started crying.

Michiru was analyzing Ranma.

And the panda… was gone!

Akane smiled and held out her hand. "Wanna be friends?"

Ranma blinked, nodded and took Akane's hand…

"Whoa!" Ranma exclaimed.

… Only for Akane to pick up the smaller girl in a bear hug and lift her off the ground, making Ranma's feet dangle.

"Nice to meet you!" Akane smiled. "Now, let me show you around… starting with the dojo."

Despite what happened, Ranma couldn't help but smile as well.

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As Akane showed off the dojo, her mind was busy. 'Maybe it's just a yuri magic girl martial arts mash? The ones that have those bad endings…? HELL NO! If this ends up being a yuri, it'll be happy, damn it! I won't choose some boy over this girl who will end up trying to be more than friends! This will be a happy one that has baby girls ever after with help of magic! IF it is a yuri… It could still be a gender bender… Wow, this is hard…'

"Trophies?" Ranma's voice broke Akane's concentration.

"Hmm?" Akane turned towards where Ranma was looking. "Yeah, they're mine. I'm pretty good… *sigh* Still don't think I'm good enough, though. What about you? Are you a martial artist?"

Ranma nodded. "Yes. Yes, I am."

Akane had to hold back giggles. "Want to spar? Just lightly? In something simple like kempo?"

Ranma shrugged. "Sure."

"Excellent." Akane touched her fingertips together… then her clothes were flung off.

The redhead's eyes widened slightly, but then un-widened slightly as she saw that Akane had a yellow gi on under her clothes.

*THUMP* Akane's clothes crashed onto the floor loudly.

Ranma's eyebrow rose.

"Learned that from _Dragon Ball_." Akane smirked. "Ready?"

Ranma nodded, hands behind her back.

'Oh, cocky, huh? Must either be really good or a part of the façade,' Akane thought. "Alright, I'll go first… YAAAA!"

The redhead girl moved her head slightly to the left, dodging Akane's punch by less than a millimeter.

Akane continued on her punch until it turned into a kick that would have taken Ranma's head off… if Ranma's head were there at the time.

Akane kept on trying to hit Ranma, who didn't move her feet from their spot on the floor.

That is, until Akane tried to leg sweep Ranma… emphasis on tried.

After dodging in the air numerous times and proving that their laws of physics are different for her, Ranma backflipped so that she was right up against the wall.

'I have you now,' Akane thought triumphantly as she punched forward as hard as she could.

*CRACK* Her fist got stuck in the wooden wall.

'Ah, great… Should have known…' Akane then felt a tap to the back of her head.

She turned around to see Ranma scratching the back of her head, chuckling.

Akane soon joined in until it was full laughter.

"Wow! That was great," Akane admitted. "How long have you been practicing martial arts?"

Ranma shrugged. "All my life."

Akane sniffed her arm. "WHOA, I really worked up a sweat… I think I need a bath… Care to join me?"

Ranma sweated nervously. "I… err…"

'Either she is a gender bender… or extremely nervous about her body… Ain't that the truth…' Akane smiled. "Don't worry, we're both girls…"

Ranma swallowed. "Um… You see… I…"

"Oh, come on, you deserve to have your back washed. You won." Akane patted Ranma on the back.

"No… you don't understand… I…" Ranma gulped.

Akane took the redhead's hand and started walking. "Fine, fine. I'll make it up some other way… but I'll take you to the furo."

Ranma sighed in relief.

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Akane was sitting against the door of the bathroom when her twin walked by.

"Do you know who the person speaking to Father is?" Ami pointed over to where Soun was crying silently with a bald man wearing glasses.

Akane blinked, squinted, turned her head sideways, mostly closed her eyes and then answered. "Not sure if it's Ranma's father… or just a random guy."

Ami rubbed her chin. "Doesn't look at all like Ranma…"

"She could be the ugly guys beautiful daughter…" Akane thought it over. "I wonder where the panda is… My guess is somewhere messing around with Luna."

Ami nodded and left, reading a book.

The youngest Tendo tapped her fingers to her lips as she watched the two men in the next room.

But after a few minutes, she grew bored and her head fell against the door.

'What's taking her so long?' Akane thought as she sat. 'It's like she hasn't taken a bath since- Duh! Packs in hands, loose-fitting clothes… They must have traveled far. Maybe even China, considering what she's wearing.'

Content with her conclusions, Akane closed her eyes and smiled.

Of course, that's when the door opened.

*Thump* Akane's head hit the floor.

'That wasn't smart.' Akane shook her head and opened her eyes to see a black-haired boy looking into her eyes.

"Whoops, sorry, didn't notice you there," the boy apologized.

As Akane took in the details, her eyes widened. 'Pigtail, same clothes, same eye color… more or less… face mostly the same… Either Ranma has a twin brother who's nearly identical, or this IS Ranma… Gotta find out!'

Akane smiled and laughed at herself. "No, it was my fault for leaning against the door. Say, do you know where Ranma went?"

The boy looked away. "It's complicated, but… you'll find out eventually…"

Akane cut him off. "Oh no! She ran away!"

The boy waved his arms defensively. "What? NO! I… it!"

'Knew it!' Akane smirked. "We better go find her… Who are you again?"

The boy sighed. "Fine… I'm Ranma Saotome."

"Huh? You share the same name…" Akane faked confusion. "That's odd…"

"Look, it's complicated…" Ranma tried to explain.

But that's when they were interrupted by Soun.

"So, there he is…" the Tendo patriarch observed. "Saotome… I... I have to see…"

"Unfortunately, Tendo…" the other man replied. "Ranma! Come over here, boy."

Ranma grumbled but walked over to them.

Soon, the entire Tendo family was in the room looking at the Saotomes.

"Who are you?" Michiru asked curiously.

"I'm Genma Saotome, and this is my son…" Genma spoke.

"Ranma," Ranma answered.

"But wasn't the Ranma that came here… a girl?" Michiru asked. "And what happened to the panda?"

Akane smirked inwardly as that was asked.

Genma lowered his head. "Sixteen days ago, we were in China at a place called Jusenkyo…"

[One explanation later…] a card with flowers read, covering the fourth wall and narrated by a faux French announcer…

Akane's thoughts EXPLODED. 'I knew it! I knew IT! I KNEW IT!'

Michiru was skeptical. "You don't expect us-"

Akane, frustrated that her sister, the MAGIC GIRL, would say that, casually threw a cup of water at Genma.

The panda sitting next to his son shocked only Michiru.

Ami was reading her book, but paused to give her older sister a look of 'Seriously?'

Soun cried, however. "The legends… They're true…"

Ranma couldn't help but chuckle as Genma grunted and growled. "Boy, that sucks, Pops…"

*Splash* Genma took that opportunity to backhand Ranma into the koi pond.

The redhead came up from the water, irritable. "What'd you do THAT for?"

Michiru had to look away, lip trembling.

Soun cried some more.

While Ami…

*Flip* went the page of Ami's book.

Akane grabbed a kettle that was going to be used for tea and rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Dad. Chill."

The self-proclaimed Moon Princess helped Ranma out of the pond and gave her the kettle.

"Thanks…" Ranma poured water over her head.

As Ranma returned back to being male, Soun stopped crying.

"Well, this problem isn't as bad as we thought after all…" Soun admitted and Genma returned back to human moments later.

Genma crossed his arms. "It could have been worse… but woe is me to have a son like this!"

"Oh, shut it, Pops! It was your idea in the first place!" Ranma countered. "Why the heck did you bring me there, anyway?"

Genma responded by tossing Ranma back into the pond. "Foolish boy! You must be prepared to give your life for the Art!"

Akane facepalmed.

"My life is one thing…" Ranma scooped up a bucket of water. "My MANHOOD is another story!"

*Splash* Genma was now a panda again.

'Great. Just great…' Akane massaged her face.

Soun and Michiru watched as cursed father and son wrestled with each other in the koi pond.

'The seas have gotten rougher the last few hours… Guess this is why…' Michiru swetdropped. 'Why do I have the feeling that it's just going to get worse?'

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Eventually, the Saotomes stopped fighting long enough to sit back down inside.

"This isn't as bad as I feared," Soun noted. "Cold water changes you into a girl, hot water changes you back."

"And it's going to take a little while to heat up more," Michiru informed them.

"Then there is no problem at all." Soun smiled. "Ranma, these are my daughters: Michiru, 17, Ami, 16, and Akane, also 16… Choose one to be your bride-"

Michiru cut him off. "Akane already volunteered."

Ami flipped a page in her book. "Indeed she did."

Akane nodded. 'Don't worry, he's a prince. Don't worry, he's a prince. He is also a she, but don't worry, he's a prince…'

Ranma shook her head. "No way, I'm out of here."

Genma growled at the redhead.

"I have to get back to China. This is no time for fiancées." Ranma turned for the exit.

"No, no, no, NO!" Akane protested. "I know that it's not ideal, but I WON'T let you become a runaway fiancé! And being male... you'll get less sympathy than a girl... Although you are one at the moment..."

Ranma narrowed her eyes. "THAT'S why I have to go back to China! I need to cure this curse."

Akane rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. Like you could. Face it, you're a MTF gender bender. The success rate is so abysmal it's a law. The first law of gender bending states that, 'Once a girl has been created, circumstances will conspire to keep her a girl.' You're actually lucky that you can still be a guy as well. Accept it; you'll be part girl for the rest of your life. Could be worse."

Ranma growled. "So what? I should just accept it? Huh? No way! I'm going to find a cure if it kills me!"

Akane slammed her fists on the table, which oddly didn't break. "OBJECTION!" Akane gave Ranma the pointy finger.

Ami facepalmed as Ranma turned around.

Akane narrowed her eyes. "Like hell I'll let you die! I won't allow it!"

Genma and Soun danced for joy with Soun singing a chorus of, "The schools shall be joined!"

Ranma huffed. "Try me."

That's when Ranma walked away.

*Slam*

Of course, that's when Akane smashed her in the head with a table.

Everyone else was in shock as Akane stood there. "What? I warned him. I know I shouldn't have, but holy crack, she's fast. How else is Ranma supposed to stay here? I didn't see anyone else react. Hypocrites."

The blue-haired martial artist returned the table back to its original position and flipped Ranma over.

"Sorry, Ranma, but it was for your own good. Now... um... how do you treat a head injury?" Akane rubbed the back of her head nervously.

Ami sighed and went to help.

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Ranma woke up sometime later with a moan.

"Good, you're awake," Ami said as she kneeled over her. "How do you feel?"

Ranma sat up, holding her head. "I've been worse…"

Ami studied Ranma. "I see… I am sorry about my sister's behavior. She is… not… normal, in a way. A bit hyper, if you will."

The redhead stood up. "I noticed. Man, that hurt."

"Fortunately, you appear to be alright." Ami had a finger to her lips. "You have already healed, amazingly. Not even a bump."

Ranma shrugged. "I'm a fast healer."

"Interesting…" Ami turned her attention back to her book.

With that, Ranma left the room and went to go take another bath.

'Stupid engagement,' Ranma thought darkly as she took off her clothes. 'Like I'm ready to marry anyone. I never even had a girlfriend!'

With a mutter under her breath, Ranma opened the door to the inner bath.

O_O

Only to meet face to face with a nude Akane.

'…' Ranma inwardly groaned. 'I can't catch a break today!'

Akane had her own internal struggle. 'He-didn't-mean-it-he-didn't-mean-it. Imeanwhocaresifhehasbiggerbo obsthanme? Damnitthisiswhereothergirlsg owrongyoucan'thithim! BREATHE! Think of the positives. Don't-worry-he's-a-prince-don't-freak-out-he's-a-prince-a-magical-gender-bending-prince-but-don't-worry-he's-a-prince.'

After a few moments of high-tension staring, Akane finally broke the silence.

"Um… this is awkward…" Akane sweatdropped. "I'll… go over there and you go in here…"

The two switched places quickly and shut the screen.

Ranma sighed and shook her head.

"Hey, Ranma… I'm sorry for hitting you." Akane played with her hair. "I… I didn't want you to leave."

The redhead got into the furo. "And here I thought you didn't want to be engaged…"

"I don't!" Akane blurted. "It's just… It'll look bad. For me as well as for you. Running out of an engagement is frowned upon and being ditched by your fiancé doesn't reflect well on a girl's femininity."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a while.

"Look, I have no time for this. If you haven't noticed, I have this curse that turns me into a girl." Ranma leaned his head back. "It's already caused me enough problems."

Akane took a deep breath. "You won't get cured. I know it. The universe likes to keep boys who turn into girls as girls. Somehow. Sure, there will probably be a cure dangling like a carrot, but it's just there to torment you. I'm sorry, but that's what happens in these situations."

Ranma grunted. "How do YOU know?"

"I don't," Akane sighed. "But please, listen! You've been on the road A LOT, right?"

"Yeah…" Ranma crossed his arms.

"Well, here you'll have three meals a day and a place to sleep. Doesn't THAT sound good?" Akane asked.

Ranma thought it over. "I guess…"

"Besides, I meant it when I said I would like you to be my friend. Still accept?" Akane tried to keep the hope out of her voice.

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "So… you don't mind me being…"

"Of course not!" Akane interrupted. "I don't care about things like that. Who cares if… if the person you said you'll be friends with just so happens to be a guy that is a girl at times?"

"HEY!" Ranma growled.

"…" Akane blinked. "What?"

"I AM a guy! I won't accept this girl thing," Ranma warned.

"So… like an FTM that actually is male for real?" Akane scratched her head.

"…" Ranma was stumped. "WHAT?"

"Bottom line is you're a guy who just so happens to have a body of a girl sometimes," Akane tried to clarify.

"Yeah…" Ranma sighed.

"Then that's fine by me!" Akane beamed.

Ranma shook his head. "This is just weird."

"Says you!" Akane shouted. "For me, this is Tuesday!"

Ranma had a giant black question mark appear over his head. "But today's Sunday…"

Akane facefaulted. "I know that!"

"Then why did you say it was Tuesday?" Ranma scratched his head. "Whatever. I'm not staying anyway, I need to get cured."

'Damnit! Think, Akane! You need to get him to stay or everyone will laugh at you! Sure, no one knows NOW, but Dad won't be able to keep his mouth shut about something like this. I'll be forced to give up being a girl, not that I'm much of one anyway- GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! You're a magic girl! You can get through this! Think, think! What would Ami do? No, I don't understand that… um… Luna? Hey, where is Luna anyway?' Akane stood up. "Well, my butt is freezing. Goodnight… Hope you change your mind!"

With that, Akane got dressed and left, searching for her cat.

"…" Ranma shook his head. "Crazy girl… It's not Tuesday…"

The pigtailed boy sank deep into the water, enjoying it immensely.

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"Luna?" Akane walked through the house. "Luuuunnna? Where are you?"

The blue-haired martial artist walked by her twin, who was reading a book next to the table.

Ami coughed into her hand, trying to get her twin's attention.

"AHHH!" Akane jumped. "AMI IS COMING DOWN WITH A COLD! **WE'RE DOOMED****!**"

Ami sweatdropped as her father started crying.

"No! You can't be sick! No!" Soun cried at the shogi board as he played against Genma, who was currently a panda.

"I'm not sick," Ami tried to explain.

Akane wasn't buying it. "But you were coughing! We need to get you to the doctor NOW!"

"Greef gruff gonk?" Genma scratched his head.

Ami took a deep breath. "'Kane, Luna is in your room. She went there after you used the table as a weapon."

"I HAD TO!" Akane waved her arms frantically.

Soun was hugging Ami. "Please, please stay away from the light… We… we need you… WAHHHH!"

Ami sighed. "I am not sick."

"But!" Akane was interrupted by Ami's glare.

"Luna… is… in… **your**… room…" Ami stressed.

"…" Akane's eyes were blank. "Ohh…"

With that, the youngest Tendo ran to her room.

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"Luna, I need your help!" Akane bit her lip as she entered her room. "How do I keep Ranma from being a runaway fiancé?"

Luna, on her tiny bed, woke up, face filled with dread. "I have no idea…"

Akane frowned. "What sort of advisor cat are you, then?"

"I am not a love guru." Luna shrugged. "I have no advice to give on that subject."

"…" Akane closed her eyes tightly. "This sucks…"

Luna sighed and tried to go back to sleep.

Akane tried to look on the bright side and smiled. "Then could we fix my mask so it works better?"

The mooncat groaned. "What is wrong with your mask, anyway?"

"It sucks! It covers only part of my face and doesn't obscure my identity at all!" Akane complained.

Luna sighed. "It isn't supposed to conceal your identity…"

"Oh, so I'm just supposed to go around, seeing people and letting them see me, so then everyone knows who I am and can kill me in my sleep? How is that a good idea? Huh?" Akane crossed her arms.

"I TOLD you, the magic-" Luna was cut off.

"DOESN'T work!" Akane growled. "Anyone stupid enough to fall for it is stupid enough to not be a threat. Unless you're saying the evil force behind the Youma is moronically stupid, having no way to keep our identities a secret is just dumb!"

"…" Luna gave up. "What do you have in mind?"

Akane tapped her lips. "Hmm… The best would probably cover the whole face and have either darkened eye covers or otherwise make the eyes hard to see… and maybe have a voice synthesizer."

Luna rolled her eyes. "You know, the Senshi are supposed to be pretty soldiers. I don't know how THAT is going to work…"

"Huh? Since when? Luna, are you hiding stuff from me?" Akane glared.

Luna buried her face in her paws.

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Ranma and Genma sat together, looking out at the koi as they jumped out of the pond periodically.

"I still hate it," Ranma blurted, hands under his chin and looking bored.

Genma smiled slightly. "Boy, you'll learn to accept it. She's a martial artist, good looking, and is a daughter of Tendo. I'm sure you'll mesh well soon enough."

"_What_ever, Pops." Ranma rolled his eyes.

The father and son sat there in silence… at least for a while.

"In case you think of leaving still, you're going to school tomorrow," Genma announced.

"WHAT?!" Ranma yelled in shock.

"It's the same school as Tendo's daughters. Protect them. Especially your fiancée. It's a martial artist's duty, after all." Genma looked up to the sky, trying to appear dignified and in control.

"POPS!" Ranma screamed in rage and attacked his father.

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"Look, if you're not going to be of any help, Luna, then I'll just do what I should have done in the first place!" Akane humphed.

Luna was already regretting it before she even spoke. "And what is that?"

"Ask Television!" Akane smiled broadly and jumped, waving her arms slightly as she went temporarily chibi.

"…" Luna sighed and curled up in her bed.

"Anyway, I'll be doing that all night, probably… Wish me luck!" Akane smiled and closed the door.

'I don't get that girl one bit,' Luna thought, shaking her head. 'I hope she keeps it down….'

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**Author's notes:** what is Akane going to find out? How badly will Luna's head hurt? Will Ranma be able to stand the crazy? Until next year, bye! From the TEXT! Happy Christmas, everyone! And a Merry New Year!


	6. She is the one named Sailor Moon

The **Red** Side of a **Blue **_**Moon**_

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** do not try this at home. The thing Akane does, not fanfics… do those… goodly.

**Caution:** obsessing over things too much can have dire consequences. I know, cuz I'm the Text.

**Reviews:** are the awesome. Compucles, prolly, oh yeah, BALLGOWN? Um… I doubt THAT… and Akane is… odd… to say the least… any more would be guessing. Richard Ryley, um… it was more about other manga and anime female leads who are mean. Hishin Trueflame, and that is… unknown, cuz I'm the Text! Not the author! TJG, possible, if she weren't so cocky. Libri Ignis, it's called the predictability lobe. hero in a cup, who knows, I'm the Text! Aceina, … /Aliens\ luger 7, yay! I like it too…

You have been warned….

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**Chapter 5: She is the one, Sailor Moon!**

Morning was peaceful in the house, and by peaceful…

"Damn it, Pops!" Ranma growled as she got out of the Tendo koi pond. "What was THAT for?"

"Boy, you have been not paying attention much lately. Just because we've come back to the city doesn't mean you're allowed to slack off!" Genma spewed from the window of the guest room.

"It's not my fault that my head-" Ranma was cut off by Genma jumping down at her.

"Less excuses, more training!" Genma demanded.

Ranma complied by attacking.

Inside the house, Michiru shook her head. "I have a very bad feeling about this…"

"About what, honorable older sister?" Ami asked as she set the table for breakfast.

"This Ranma… sh- he makes me uneasy…" Michiru sighed. "That body… in the hands of a boy…"

"Really?" Ami closed her eyes. "That is what gets to you? He has to deal with this problem possibly for the rest of his life and you're uneasy just because he could possibly do things with a female body that is his?"

"…" Michiru looked away. "Yes… No… That's not… That magic… Maybe I'm being paranoid, but the seas were even fiercer last night."

Ami stroked her chin. "Perhaps… Still… you've been looking at Ranma weirdly…"

Michiru balled her fists. "Alright, she's attractive. That's what bugs me. Haruka is still trying to get a threesome with Akane, so I was looking for a way to get her back… It unnerves me. Ranma as a girl is so… so… "

Ami looked over to see their father watching the Saotomes fight. "I understand. Actually… not really. Just be careful. Maybe you should hit Haruka after all…"

Michiru sighed. "Maybe. But that is Akane's way… Where is she, anyway?"

"Our little sister went to her collection. Luna said that 'Kane went to ask television, most likely looking for a way to keep Ranma here." Ami looked towards the dojo. "Should we get her?"

Michiru nodded. "I'll call her. Bring out breakfast, please."

Ami nodded and did just that.

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Michiru entered the dojo and walked over to Akane's trophy case in the corner.

After looking around for a few moments, she pulled the arm of a figure atop one of the trophies, causing the arm to move downward.

"Akane, breakfast is ready," Michiru called, seemingly to no one.

She let go of the arm and it returned to its original position.

Then she walked out of the dojo, looking at the shed next to it and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Michiru crossed her arms in annoyance.

Suddenly the shed door opened abruptly to reveal Akane Tendo, who faceplanted onto the grass.

"Akane…" Michiru sighed. "You know not to use it on a school night. And we have guests, REMEMBER?!"

Akane got to her knees and rubbed her left eye. "But I *yawn* needed to… So… what's for breakfast?"

Michiru was about to answer when Akane fell down again asleep, a giant snot bubble appearing from her nose.

With a roll of her eyes, Michiru walked over to Akane.

*POP!* went the snot bubble as Michiru poked it with her finger.

"Ww-What?" Akane yawned. "It's not my fault…"

*SMACK* Michiru slapped Akane across the face.

"OWWW!" Akane yelped, rubbing her cheek. "THAT HURTS!"

"Get up," Michiru ordered.

"Fine, fine…" Akane mumbled and got to her feet. "Meanie."

Michiru responded by dragging Akane inside.

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"Suck on THAT, old man!" Ranma shouted as she threw Genma into the koi pond. "Stupid curse…"

Ami looked up and saw Ranma fuming. "The bath is ready. Go take one."

Ranma nodded and left for the bath.

"Impressive, Saotome." Soun nodded as he sat at the table. "Most impressive. There should be no trouble getting them together."

Genma garbled some words in Panda, which only Soun was fluent in… somehow.

"Yes, I don't think she'll mind," Soun sighed. "Not at all…"

That's when Michiru came in, dragging Akane.

"That was completely irresponsible, little sister," Michiru scolded as she got Akane to the table.

"But it was necessary…" Akane yawned. "I have new… ideas… now… Potato…"

Michiru rolled her eyes as Akane fell asleep again, banging her head on the table.

"Hmm? Akane, are you alright?" Soun asked. "Did you get enough sleep?"

"ZzzZzz…" Akane snored. "Monsters…"

Genma raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, yes, THAT… As long as you disguise yourself well." Soun stroked his moustache.

Ami looked at Genma. "Need hot water?"

Genma shook his head.

Michiru shrugged. "Good, because I have bamboo for you, Mr. Saotome."

Genma whined.

"Now, now, Saotome, I'm sure it tastes delicious," Soun reassured his friend. "We can eat when your son comes back."

"Ooh! Food!" Ranma smiled as he walked in. "Thank YOU!"

As Ranma sat down, ready to eat, as Akane mumbled in her sleep.

"Not much of a morning person, I see…" Ranma muttered.

"She jogs in the morning," Ami covered.

"Uh huh…" Ranma raised his eyebrow. "Sure she does…"

That is when the smell of the food reached Akane's nose. Specifically, the opened poptart…

"YES, I'M A NATURAL BLUE!" Akane shouted as she woke up dramatically.

"…" Everyone stared at her.

"… Well, I am…" Akane mumbled. "Look, food!"

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"I still don't like this," Ranma groaned as he walked with the Tendo sisters to school.

"Best to make the most of it." Ami shrugged.

Michiru nodded. "Indeed. There may even be something interesting there for you."

"Adventure!" Akane laughed. "But… there's a pro-… problem… Cold water will make this very awkward."

"Yeah, but I don't plan on getting splashed today." Ranma put his hands behind his head.

"Doesn't… matter…" Akane was dozing off again. "Busty redhead in three… two… one…"

*Splash* An old lady hit Ranma with a ladle of water, making he a she.

"…" Michiru was stunned.

Ami sighed. "Should have known…"

Akane nodded. "Told ya. Worth it…"

"So… yeah, I'm not going. See ya." Ranma turned around and started going back towards the Tendo home.

Akane, half asleep, smiled. "Chicken."

Ranma stopped in her tracks. "What?"

"You… you're afraid of people finding out about… thing… GIRL! Yeah… scardey cat…" Akane smiled sleepily.

Ranma was shivering in anger. "What… did… you… say?"

Akane was swaying. "You're scared. A frightened girl…"

"NUH UH!" Ranma yelled and turned around. "I'm NOT a girl!"

"Prove it." Akane smiled, eyes closed.

Fuming, Ranma started heading towards school. "You better find me hot water…"

"Easy," Ami chimed in. "I know where to get some."

*Thud* Akane fell to the ground, fast asleep.

Michiru sighed. "Get Ranma to class, I'll take care of Akane."

Ami nodded and walked ahead, Ranma following.

"We did it, we did it, we did it…" Akane sleep mumbled.

Michiru sighed. "Oh, little sister…."

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"I am NOT going to be late, little sister!" Michiru gritted her teeth as she ran towards school, Akane on her back.

"We watched the anime and read the manga, we did it, we did it, we did it! Hurray!" Akane sleep-sang. "Batman has nothing on me, for I have my twin Ami!"

"Almost there…" Michiru muttered as she ran towards school.

"Yeah, whoo! Hurray! We did it… Yeah!" Akane laughed, still asleep.

"Almost… there…" Michiru sweated as she came into sight of the school.

"My favorite part was when that… thing… stuff… Yeah…" Akane snoozed.

Suddenly, boys, boys everywhere.

Michiru, in a good showing of athleticism, pulled Akane off her back while running and put her down right in front of the horde.

'On your own, Akane… Don't worry, I have faith in you,' Michiru thought as she rushed into the school.

"Hey, hey, hey, hold on there." Haruka, in the boys' school uniform, grabbed Michiru's arm as she ran by, stopping her. "What's the rush, beautiful?"

Michiru took a few deep breaths. "I am not going to be late…"

"You have five minutes…" Haruka smiled. "That enough?"

"Well…" Michiru frowned. "I'm frustrated that you are still trying to woo my sister."

As if on cue, a boy flew through the air, landing hard.

"She IS cute…" Haruka shrugged. "Besides, it's not serious…"

Another boy flew through the air violently.

"Then what is THIS?" Michiru pointed to the legion of boys attacking a sleeping Akane.

"Not my fault…" Haruka mumbled. "Why not just say that she's a lesbian?"

A boy screamed in pain.

"Like that would help matters." Michiru rolled her eyes. "How's this, you lay off hitting on my little sister, or I'll start doing the same thing you're doing to other girls."

Haruka's eye twitched. "Why this all of a sudden?"

"MY LEG!" a boy cried out.

"Because…" Michiru whispered into Haruka's ear. "She's engaged…"

Haruka's eyes widened. "TO WHO?"

A boy ate dirt as he slid across the ground.

"A transfer student. You'll know him once you see him," Michiru sighed. "Wonder if HE should know…"

Haruka bit her lip. "That might not be a wise idea…"

Another boy cried in pain.

"Perhaps…" Michiru thought it over. "Still, this is eating Akane up."

Haruka shrugged. "An all-girls' school? I'd do it, but I hate skirts… on me."

A boy sailed through the air, becoming a twinkle in the sky.

"I have to get to class. Make sure my sister gets in on time." Michiru walked away in a hurry.

"Right…" Haruka rubbed her forehead. "As if."

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"Thanks for the water," Ranma mused as he walked the hallways of the school. "But seriously, tell that doctor guy to stop doing that. He's lucky I didn't attack him."

Ami shrugged. "I'll make a note. Well, here's your class. Good luck."

With that, Ami walked away, taking out a book.

"Weird…" Ranma shook his head and went inside the room.

There was no one there… except for a poor boy on the floor under a broken window.

Ranma walked over and saw that he was badly bruised, beaten, and barely awake.

"Help… me…" he whispered.

"Wow, man, what happened to you?" Ranma asked.

The boy's eyes got wide as he smiled dreamily. "My love… I saw my dear Akane... up close… too… up close…"

Ranma's eye twitched. "Uh huh… So, where is she?"

"Outside…" the boy whispered.

Ranma looked out the window into the courtyard to see Akane sleeping… and punting boys away as they got near her.

'Definitely weird, alright,' Ranma thought. 'Hey… why is that guy behind a tree? Coward. And that blond guy is talking to Michiru…'

Suddenly, the door opened.

"Sleepfighting? Seriously, Yuka, this is weirder than… Oh, hi there! People before us… Hehehe…" Sayuri sweatdropped.

Yuka rolled her eyes. "Hey there, new guy… Why is Gos on the floor?"

Gos, who was in pain answered in a whisper. "My love… did this… It… worth…"

Ranma clenched his fists. "You two look reasonable. What's going on here?"

Yuka took a look at the situation and deadpanned. "Akane Tendo."

Ranma was going to ask how that answered anything as people began pouring into the classroom.

"Alright, class, settle down. We have a new student here, just back from China…" The teacher stopped to look at Gos on the ground. "Somebody get Mr. Gosunkugi out of here."

Everyone shook their heads.

"Great." The teacher looked at his new roster. "Just great. You, Ranma… Saotome. Take this guy to the nurse's office."

Ranma blinked. "Where is that?"

The teacher sweatdropped. "Right… new here… Oh well, I suppose he's not too much of a distraction. Mr. Saotome, introduce yourself, please."

Ranma shrugged and was about to do so until…

"Made it!" Haruka gasped for breath as she got into the room, Akane in hands. "Here's Akane… Bye!"

With that, Haruka left as fast as she was able.

"…" The class sweatdropped as a whole as Akane lay there, snoring.

*Ring* went the bell.

"Of course…" the teacher sighed.

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"Made it!" Haruka sighed in relief as she slid into her room just as the bell went off.

Michiru, who was seated, blinked in surprise.

"There you are…" the teacher snarled. "Cutting it close as always. And let me guess… your brother?"

Haruka nodded. "Exactly where you think."

"Thought so," the teacher sighed. "Well, let's get started, then…"

Haruka smiled and got to her seat.

Michiru whispered. "Where is Akane?"

"In her class." Haruka smiled. "Did it. You owe me."

Michiru frowned.

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Akane Tendo slept soundly in school for a while.

The teachers at most rolled their eyes at seeing her sleeping.

Her two partners in crime, Yuka and Sayuri, expected as much and covered for her as best they could.

Her fiancé, Ranma, looked on, studying her…

All in all, things were quiet. And boring…

But then, lunch came…

"Akane… AKANE!" Yuka called from a few desks away.

"Maybe if you poke her…" Sayuri suggested.

"No way!" Yuka shook her head. "You saw what happened this morning…"

Ranma rolled his eyes. "I'll take care of this…"

Now, Ranma fought Akane, he saw what happened at the start of school, and, he was confident, very confident that she couldn't lay a finger on him.

Yuka, Sayuri, and everyone else backed away in a hurry.

"Hey Akane, wake up," Ranma said, poking her in the stomach.

*WHAMO* Akane hit Ranma in the face, sending him into the classroom wall so hard that he was imbedded into it.

"…" Ranma twitched. "Ow…"

Quite a few students winced at that.

"We could just let her be," a student commented.

Yuka shrugged. "That seems smart. Are you alright, Mr. Saotome?"

Ranma pulled himself out of the wall and shook the debris from his hair. "Had worse. That all you got, Akane?"

While the pigtailed boy tried to laugh it off, he was furious inside. 'How could she hit me!? I was ready and everything!'

Rolling up his sleeves, Ranma tried again.

"WAKE UP!" Ranma yelled into Akane's ear as he put her into a hold.

*CRASH* Akane responded by kicking him through the window.

The students looked out of the window to see him land on his feet.

"Pretty tough, if you ask me," Sayuri mumbled.

Other students agreed.

"Mine… I called it…" Akane sleep mumbled.

"Come on, Akane, wake up. We're missing lunch!" Yuka yelled.

"Crazy, violent girl…" Ranma mumbled as he got back into the classroom. "Sleep through anything…"

"Impressive," Sayuri admitted. "Most impressive…"

Yuka snapped her fingers. "I know, Belle-chan would know how to wake Akane!"

'Who?' Ranma thought as he tried not to get more irritated.

"What now?" Ami asked as she walked into the room right then.

Akane mumbled. "Mine… No… touchy…"

Ami sighed. "I have your lunch, 'Kane…"

With that, Ami opened up her twin's bento box.

"FOOD!" Akane's eyes shot open, giant smile on her face. "Man, I'm hungry. Hey, why is the window broken? Honestly, there's no maintenance at this school…"

Ranma facefaulted.

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"No, I mean it! I'm sorry for hitting you!" Akane waved her arms up and down as she walked out of school with Ranma, Sayuri, and Yuka. "You dodged me yesterday, so…"

Ranma sighed. "Right, WHO hits people in their sleep?! How did you even do that?"

"Hell if I know!" Akane defended herself. "The best I can think of is a defense mechanism against boys. You know, since I fight them daily…"

"Possible," Sayuri muttered. "It would make sense…"

"This fight you do every morning…" Ranma's face took upon a look of disgust. "It's… so uncivilized…"

Akane failed to stop from giggling.

"What?" Ranma narrowed his eyes. "What is it now?"

Akane waved it off. "Nothing… nothing… But it's not like I can stop it… I mean, it's not too bad, and they're the only regular fights I can get…"

"Besides…" Yuka interjected herself into the conversation, "I'd doubt Kuno would stop it willingly. I mean, not even…"

She was cut off by Kuno appearing before them, furious. "What's this!? Who are YOU, boy who dares accompany Akane Tendo so fondly!?"

Yuka and Sayuri synchro-facepalmed.

Akane groaned.

Ranma narrowed his eyes. "Me? Who are YOU, telling people who they can be with!? Wait, I recognize you, you're the coward behind the tree this morning!"

"WHO DARES call Tatewaki Kuno, Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, a COWARD!?" Kuno thrust his bokken towards Ranma.

'Haven't heard THAT nickname before…' Akane thought. 'So… all guys really hate being called a coward. Thank you, TV!'

Ranma raised his hand. "Me. Really, attacking Akane every day to go on a date? Along with hundreds of boys all at once? That's low, man…"

"SILENCE! THOU KNOWETH NOT WHAT THOU IS SAYING!" Kuno roared.

Ranma cracked his knuckles. "Says you. Come on, give me your best shot…."

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Yuka grabbed Sayuri and Akane, pulling them inside and away from the obvious fight.

"Wow, Akane…" Yuka shook her head. "Got a boy fighting for you. Why do you get all the good ones?"

Sayuri frowned. "Yeah, why always you? You just met him!"

"Well, actually, he's my fiancé-" Akane quickly covered her mouth. "… Crack."

"**WHAT!?**" Sayuri and Yuka chorused.

"DON'T TELL ANYONE!" Akane covered her friends' mouths. "While he's excellent at martial arts, and a prince…"

Sayuri and Yuka's eyes widened.

"… Shoot…" Akane closed her eyes in frustration. "I really need to keep it under wraps so I don't cause him to shy away from me. It's our parents' idea, and while we both don't like it, I've accepted it. Fighting this would just be wasted energy. But I need him comfortable, and that means not having the school know, got it?"

Sayuri and Yuka nodded.

Akane sighed in relief.

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Meanwhile, Ranma and Kuno were locked in a stare-off.

Well, Kuno laughing wasn't exactly staring…

"Poor, poor peasant. What is thy name, so that I, the Blue Tunder, may hire someone to etch it on your tombstone?" Kuno laughed.

Ranma smirked. "Ranma Saotome, heir of the Anything Goes school of martial arts. Didn't you get beaten by Akane this morning?"

Kuno narrowed his eyes. "Preposterous! To even think that is ludicrous! The Blue Thunder never loses…"

Ranma's smirk widened. "Huh… Then I wonder why you still fight her. Shouldn't you be on a date, then?"

"Well, I let myself…" Kuno shook his head. "BLAST you, you pathetic, pigtailed boy, you asked for my best, and you… WILL… **HAVE IT**!"

Kuno's wooden bokken came right at Ranma's chest, intending to finish him off like a vampire.

But, Ranma wasn't there anymore. He was off to the side of Kuno, casually putting his bookbag over his shoulder.

"Wow… that was slow." Ranma faked a yawn. "I asked for your best shot…"

Kuno growled and struck again and again, creating air pressure that was rapidly destroying the outer wall of the school courtyard.

Suddenly, at least from Kuno's point of view, Ranma vanished.

"What? What the…?" Kuno looked left and right for Ranma. "HA! Running away?"

"Look up, you moron." Ranma rolled his eyes from atop Kuno's head.

"How DARE YOU!?" Kuno swung at Ranma, only for him to jump off and land far away.

"Say, what do you like about Akane anyway?" Ranma asked. "She seems like a lot to handle…"

Said girl and her two best friends were watching through the open door to the school.

"Grrrr…" Akane took a deep breath. 'He's just trying to get Kuno angry… angrier… Relax, don't get mad…'

Yuka, on the other hand, simply shrugged. "Well… he's right, you know…"

Sayuri nodded.

"Honestly!" Akane exasperated.

Kuno scowled. "Insulting the honor of Akane Tendo? And you dare call yourself a man!"

"What did you say, Kuno?" Ranma's body started shaking with anger.

"You… are no man!" Kuno huffed.

Eyes narrowed, Ranma moved extremely fast up to Kuno's face and uppercut him in the jaw.

Yuka, Sayuri, and Akane were shocked silent at that.

So was Kuno, but more due to being unconscious.

"Wow…" Akane got out. 'I didn't even see him move…'

"Don't say that again," Ranma warned as he walked off.

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Luna cautiously watched the panda that was Genma from under the table.

Said panda rearranged the pieces of the shogi game he was playing with his friend when Soun turned around due to Genma pointing that way.

'That panda is very untrustworthy…' Luna narrowed her eyes. 'I can't let him know about the Senshi. The same goes for Ranma, no matter what Akane says…'

"Huh? How did… I thought I was winning…" Soun mused. "Alright, you won, old friend. I'll buy the sake…"

With that Genma left the home happily, followed by Soun.

'Where can we meet now? Sure, there hasn't been anything happening in a while, but I have a hunch that things will pick up very soon. We need to be ready,' Luna worried. 'With these new houseguests, I don't know where we can meet in secret…'

That's when she saw Akane and Ranma walk into the house.

"I know you hate it, but I'm serious. You'll just waste time and be miserable if you try to cure it," Akane pointed out. "You got this curse by being shoved into the Spring of Drowned Girl right? Well, you need to find a drowned man or boy spring or something. And what will happen then? IS there even a Spring of Drowned Man?"

"That would be giving up…" Ranma grumbled and crossed his arms. "At least I didn't get wet at school…"

Luna raised an eyebrow.

"I'm surprised about that, really." Akane scratched her chin. "Perhaps it needs to be a secret for some reason. Speaking of… Hi, Luna!"

Ranma stopped and looked around the room. "Who?"

Luna shut her eyes in frustration from under the table.

Akane bent down and smiled. "Hi, Luna. Come on out!"

Ranma's anxiety started growing. "That's not a…"

Luna came out reluctantly. "Nya…"

*ZOOM* Ranma suddenly disappeared.

"…" Akane turned towards Luna. "Did you do anything to him?"

Luna shrugged, confused as well.

"He's not… But that would be…" Akane covered her mouth in realization. 'Must… not… laugh…'

Luna raised an eyebrow.

"Ranma! *snicker* The cat is gone!" Akane turned towards Luna. "Jump him."

Luna, suspicious but confused and feeling trustworthy for some reason, nodded.

"What does a cat have to do with- AHH!" Ranma fell to the floor with a thud as Luna jumped him.

Shivering, Ranma tried to say something, but couldn't as he stared at Luna in fear.

"Yeah, this is gonna be a problem," Akane mused. "Hey, Luna, can you do anything?"

Luna couldn't help but facepalm.

Ranma just freaked out more.

"Perhaps if you shock him, Mooncat like?" Akane wondered aloud.

Ranma was quaking in fear.

'I don't HAVE anything I can do! I don't remember anyone fearing me… One guy hated me for some reason though. Maybe…' Luna thought her options over.

"I know! Luna, do a headbutt!" Akane shouted.

Before Luna could lose control and yell at Akane, something happened… Something… bad…

Something bad happened right underneath her.

Ranma growled.

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"Hey. Hey, wake up." Haruka kicked Kuno lightly in the head.

Michiru sighed. "He'll be fine…"

"It's not like I care," Haruka mumbled. "Still…"

The blonde looked around and saw that they were alone in the courtyard… just the three of them.

"Get up now, Taki, or I swear I'll drag you home by the back of my car," Haruka threatened.

"Haruka…" Michiru sighed.

Kuno mumbled and got up. "Why must the Blue Thunder's evil sister be such an evil?"

Haruka groaned. "Shut up, please just shut up."

"AS IF I WOULD!" Kuno leapt to his feet. "I despise being related to you as you are to me, deranged sister, but the Blue Thunder shall not be silenced!"

Haruka facepalmed. "I am NOT deranged, you're just mad that Michiru loves me and not you!"

"HA!" Kuno laughed mockingly. "As likely is that as America driving on the right side of the road!"

"…" Haruka pinched her nose.

Michiru took a deep breath. "Tatewaki Kuno, lay off my sister, please. It's hurting her. As you hurt me four years ago..."

"INCONCEIVABLE!" Kuno proclaimed. "To even think that I, The Blue Thunder of Furinkan High would hurt a fair maiden is beyond preposterous!"

"Seriously, lay off." Haruka smirked. "Or you might turn another Tendo lesbian."

Michiru looked away.

Kuno leveled his bokken at Haruka. "It is YOUR fault, twin sister of mine! Your witchcraft has turned the fair Michiru against me; don't you turn the fierce tigress against me!"

"I am NOT a witch!" Haruka complained.

Michiru rubbed her temples.

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"Nyrall…" Ranma was on all fours, hissing at Luna.

"Hey Luna, I think this is bad…" Akane laughed nervously. "Got anything in that backflip space of yours? Preferably something useful in this situation that won't dust him? So, something from like season 2, not 5…"

"WHAT!?" Luna screamed in pure shock and confusion.

Ranma's eyes narrowed. "Nya…"

Luna gulped as the cat-acting Ranma stared right at her like she was an enemy. "Akane…"

"Moon time, got it." Akane nodded. {Moon prism POWAR!}

Ranma covered his eyes due to the intensity of the bright light.

"…" Akane sweatdropped. "But wait… how do I fight him? Anything magical will just not work or turn him into powdered sugar… BE USEFUL, LUNA!"

Ranma jumped at Luna then, who backflipped out of fear. "TAKE IT!"

Ranma pounced on Luna just as a pink stick with a crescent moon on top dropped from wherever she had it, pulsing three times as it bounced on the floor.

"…" Akane picked it up. "Looks like a girls' toy. Jeez, talk about going overboard with the girliness…"

"MOON!" Luna called out as Ranma batted her around like a cat playing with a toy.

"Oh, right, sorry…" Akane took the Moon Stick and pointed it at Ranma. "Um… {Girly… girl… gambit?} I think…"

Crickets chirped as nothing happened.

"MOON!" Luna cried out, pleading. "It is… it is… IT IS… CURSE YOU, SWISS CHEESE MEMORY!"

"It looks like it will break any moment…" Akane tapped it against the wall. "Wait, I got it!"{MOOOOOOOON!}

Suddenly, sparkles, sparkles everywhere.

They got into Ranma's eyes and he fell back into the koi pond, Luna in his… now her mouth.

"PTTT TAK ACKK!" Ranma let go of Luna and rubbed her eyes. "What… was THAT? I don't remember… YOU!"

Luna looked up, body aching, to see a steaming Ranma.

"This is all YOUR fault! YOUR ENTIRE FAULT!" Ranma seethed. "Why I'm wet, the memory thing… You **evil**… Mau-ian…"

Luna's eyes widened at that.

Akane changed back. "Hey, Ranma, you like my cat, Luna?"

Ranma looked left and right, panic on his face. "Wh-oo-o?"

Akane sweatdropped. "Um… Cat… there…"

Ranma looked back down at Luna. "You mean the Mau creature?"

Akane shrugged. "Sure, whatever."

"You OWN this monstrosity!?" Ranma asked, shocked.

"Well… it's more of a mentor type of thing…" Akane mused. "Magic cat, though… from the MOON!"

Ranma shivered. "Freaking demons…"

Akane didn't pay it any mind. "Go on, Luna. Say hi."

"I'm doomed…" Was all Luna said before she fell over, unconscious.

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As the neighbors played their "Tendo home got wrecked" song, Soun and Genma stood outside it, looking at how the yard was ruined.

All Soun could do is cry.

Genma patted him on the head sympathetically. As sympathetically as a panda could manage, anyway.

"Let me guess… Akane?" Michiru asked as she walked up behind them.

Genma shrugged.

Soun wept.

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**Author's notes:** I was told that there WAS going to be a thing where Luna cured Ranma, or failed, or something, but was scrapped due to it being insanely bad fanon. So stop that. Yeah. The Text said so!


	7. Yapappa, Yapappa, Insolent!

The **Red** Side of a **Blue **_**Moon**_

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** making predictions can destroy your self esteem if they're wrong. Do it anyway because it's fun!

**Caution:** be sure to get all your facts straight before hand or you'll look bad.

**Reviews:** are made to be read aloud in front of the class… or whatever this is. Aceina, because Akane needs to wake up. Didn't even work. Plus, Michiru is showing hypocritical signs. TJG, Haruka is replacing Kodachi… sort of. Noy said that the number of characters needed to be kept down so some replaced others. It sparkles… in the anime at least. It's weird. Plus, Akane doesn't know what it DOES exactly. Richard Ryley, I bet it exists somewhere, but yeah, conflict is so fun! Yep, exactly. James Birdsong, yeah huh. Here's more! Spica75, that's so weird yet so plausible that it's scary. Of course, I'm biased, being the Text and all… luger 7, party! Whoo! Guest, an account is free you know, but whatevs! Don't count your chickens before they hatch! hero in a cup, your guess is as good as mine. Suspense!

You have been warned….

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**Chapter 6: Yapappa, Yapappa, insolent!**

"… And then, aliens wrecked the place because they wanted Luna…" Akane tried to explain the situation to her father and eldest sister. "Good thing that I'm super awesome…"

[Aliens?] Genma's sign read.

"… Would you believe just one alien?" Akane asked, hopeful.

Soun massaged his forehead.

Akane looked away. "How about a crazed martial artist and a cat?"

[WHAT!?] Genma's eyes went wide. [I mean… err… look, a one yen piece!]

Michiru crossed her arms and glared at Genma. "What do you know?"

The panda got a tire from nowhere and started playing with it. [I'm just a cute panda!]

Akane sweatdropped. 'Terrible, terrible animal advisor.'

That's when Ranma came down the stairs, muttering to himself.

Akane sighed in relief. "Ranma, explain what happened."

Ranma gripped his head in obvious pain. "I don't know…"

"Therefore, aliens!" Akane smiled. "I'm not saying it _was_ aliens. But it was aliens…"

Michiru frowned. "You expect me to believe that?"

Akane facepalmed. "Honestly! Idiot oldest sister, WHERE IS LUNA FROM?!"

Michiru groaned. "That doesn't mean I believe you…"

"Hey, Ranma, are you still afraid of cats?" Akane asked, ignoring her sister.

"I'm not afraid of ANYTHING!" Ranma growled. "Let alone some tiny creature…"

Akane sighed. "Whatever, I'm going to go find Ami; at least SHE will believe me…"

The blue-haired girl walked up to Genma.

[Just an innocent panda…] Genma's sign read.

Akane grabbed the sign...

*WHACK*

… And hit Genma with it.

"Worst father/animal advisor EVER!" Akane spat in disgust and left the grounds.

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Luna lay in her bed, shaken and stirred. She shivered as she reflected on what just happened moments ago.

_Akane held Luna as Ranma glared at the mooncat in Akane's room._

_"Do YOU know anything about healthcare for cats?" Akane asked, embarrassed._

_"Mau-ian…" Ranma growled._

_Akane rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Do you?"_

_Ranma gritted his teeth. "Not much… Evil creatures…"_

_Luna pretended to still be unconscious, listening carefully._

_"Well, maybe I should just let her rest…" Akane mused. "You won't try to kill her, now would you? Because I know I will get blamed for it and I have enough trouble with animals already…"_

_Ranma raised an eyebrow. "What?"_

_Soun's crying echoed throughout the house._

_"Shoot. Um, just don't kill her, alright?" Akane grabbed Ranma's arm and pulled him out of her room, closing the door. "Anyway, what was with that thing with the acting like a cat and stuff? That's not normal…"_

_Ranma shuddered and crossed his arms, looking away._

_Akane sighed. "Fine, don't tell me. You better explain stuff though. I hate getting into trouble."_

_With that Akane ran down the stairs._

_Ranma stared at Akane's door for a moment before shaking his head and walking down the stairs as well._

With a mirage-like fade, Luna was once again sitting on her bed.

'Ranma…' Luna shuddered. 'He could be even more trouble than I feared. He's either an enemy or a reincarnated enemy…'

Luna's eyes went wide. 'I must warn Akane!'

With that, she left her bed and ran off into the sunset.

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'Maybe we can eat some ice cream…' Akane thought to herself as she walked towards Ami's cram school. "Hmm? When did THAT get there?"

The blue-haired girl looked at the garden in front of her strangely. The garden was incredibly overgrown, with numerous vines crisscrossing everything. The large lot-like garden was not only eerie, but dark and densely populated with bushes and weeds. More like a giant mess than a garden, as it looked abandoned… except it was new.

There was no one around besides Akane. The tallish buildings on all three other sides closed off the area and gave it the feel of a jungle. While the area was a bit out of the way, Akane walked this way from time to time. To see this giant mess of a garden was a bit surprising.

'Really needs a trimming.' Akane shook her head. "Huh?"

Akane noticed a shoe just inside the entrance, and a school bag as well.

She rummaged through it, and saw a paper dated two days before.

While most people would start getting nervous, scared, fearful, or cautious, Akane felt… well…

"Alright! Youma!" Akane giggled madly. "I'm going the right way! It's about time I've seen one."

The blue-haired girl transformed in a flash of light lasting less than half an instant. But for her, it took much, much longer.

So much that she got irritated.

'HURRY UP!' Akane angrily thought as her body was engulfed in light, stripping her nude before prettying her up in what her sisters considered a stripperrific school uniform.

Sailor Moon was back, and she was hunting Youma.

With a laugh, Moon jumped into the garden.

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Luna ran down the street, eyes peeled for Akane or Ami… preferably Ami.

Unfortunately for the black cat, she didn't really know the area too well, being injured and bed ridden for most of her time in Nerima.

'Now… where could she be?' Luna wondered to herself.

Laughter echoed loudly around the area.

Luna sweatdropped. 'Definitely her.'

Before she got too far, she heard large footsteps behind her.

*Splash*

Luna was pushed into a puddle by a running man.

The cat didn't see who he was though.

Shaking off the water, Luna ran towards where she clearly heard Akane laughing.

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Ranma gripped his head in pain. "Stupid headaches again…"

Genma raised a sign. [It's in the front pocket.]

Ranma nodded and gritted his teeth before heading up the stairs for the room he shared with his panda father.

Locating his backpack, Ranma opened the front pocket.

After some rummaging, he took out a bottle of pills.

"Bottoms up…" Ranma seethed in pain as he chugged them.

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Sailor Moon carefully kept her eyes on her surroundings, looking up frequently.

Her eyes darted from shadow to shadow, looking for any movement.

The sun finally set, causing Moon's vision to plummet.

'Any second now…' Moon gazed around, spotting a tree.

The blue-haired girl tore a branch off easily.

'Just in case.' Moon placed the branch behind her back.

Just then, movement drew Moon's eye towards the deepest part of the garden.

Holding her tree branch defensively, Moon slowly made her way to the back of the garden.

Moon's eyes widened as she saw the horrific sight in front of her.

There, rising from the ground, was a vast and expansive complex of biological goo-like liquid cages… containing unconscious schoolgirls!

'Aliens.' Moon growled. 'The answer is ALWAYS aliens! And the Youma is behind me, isn't it?'

Without looking, Moon swung her tree branch to hit whatever was behind her.

*Twang twang wang twkwang* The branch broke through several vines.

"Shoot!" Moon had a bad feeling when she saw more vines move in to take its place. "IT'S ALIVE!"

Responding, several vines shot out to ensnare Moon.

But she was too fast and whacked the vines out of the way before scrambling back a safe distance.

"Kidnapping schoolgirls? How typical." Moon tightened her grip. "Show yourself, monster Youma of the plant…"

A faint laugh echoed around the garden as a woman-plant hybrid came into view.

Her green skin and plantlike features were very indicative of a Youma. And her red hair made her look familiar to Moon.

So much so that…

"I knew Poison Ivy was a Youma!" Moon pointed her tree branch at her.

The Youma snarled. "So, it appears you have studied Earth's media as well, Senshi…"

"Well, duh." Moon rolled her eyes. "It's called doing the research."

"Hmmm…" The Youma narrowed her eyes. "This will indeed prove much more challenging. I must report this to my bosses…"

"Nuh uh." Moon stuck her tongue out.

The Youma sweatdropped. "Childish… of course… What is your name, Senshi, so that I may be able to properly brag about killing you?"

Moon shook her head. "You mustn't have been studying well; it's customary to give your name first."

"It is?" the Youma mumbled to herself, scratching her head.

Moon nodded. "Yeah huh. Earth etiquette. Super-simple stuff."

The Youma sighed. "Very well then…"

The vines of the garden filled up the area.

"I am Youma 8001, research experiment class, and my specialty is-" The Youma had to stop, due to danger.

Moon threw her tiara and charged with the tree branch, screaming. "Moontiaraaction!"

8001 ducked under the tiara but was unprepared for Moon coming right at her with a tree branch.

*WHAMO* The Youma was sent flying, hitting the holding cell of a girl.

"Very well, Senshi…" 8001 spat. "Screw you!"

The vines came after Moon in overwhelming fashion, causing her to retreat into a corner.

"You're finished, Senshi!" 8001 laughed.

Moon was going to say something back, when a red rose struck the ground between them.

"WHAT!?" Moon yelped before looking up on top of the building behind her.

There stood a man in a tophat, wearing a long black cape and dressed way too formally… including a white, pathetic-looking eyemask.

'Well, at least Ranma finally showed himself…' Moon facepalmed. 'But still, if THAT is what a prince is supposed to look like…'

The Youma looked at the man dumbfounded.

"Fear not, fair maiden, for your fierce fullness shall defeat the forces of evil indubitably." TophatRose spewed.

"DAMMIT, RANMA!" Moon growled. "SHUT UP AND HELP, IDIOT!"

A vine shot out and grabbed the tree branch. Moon still held on, but it swung her around in the air violently.

"The blue-haired girl shall always triumph!" the man cheered.

"QUIT TALKING LIKE KUNO AND HELP, YOU JERK!" Moon yelled before being thrown up into the air.

8001 laughed evilly.

Moon ate dirt, sliding a few meters towards the entrance. "RANMA!"

"Yo," Ranma replied.

Moon looked up and spat out the dirt. "Wha!? You… there…"

The blue-haired girl glanced from Ranma standing there, eating nuts, to TophatRose, to Ranma chewing nuts to TophatRose.

"What the…?" Moon clamped her hands on her cheeks, dumbfounded.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Luna ran through the city streets, now hopelessly lost.

'Not good, not good, not-good, notgood!' Luna sweated in her panic. 'Wait… this is… somewhat familiar…'

"Luna?" Ami was suddenly right behind her.

Luna turned and sighed in relief. "Thank goodness…"

Ami picked her up. "Why are you out here?"

"I have to warn you Senshi… Ranma is an enemy. I know it!" Luna explained, fear in her voice.

Ami rubbed her chin. "What makes you say that?"

Luna looked away. "He knows who I am."

Ami blinked in surprise. "Well, that could mean anything…"

Luna shook her head. "He HATES me. Really hates me. Scary hate…"

Ami puzzled this while Luna shuddered.

"Where is Akane now?" Ami asked.

Luna sighed. "I don't know."

Suddenly, a voice cried out angrily, "QUIT TALKING LIKE KUNO AND HELP, YOU JERK!"

"'Kane!" Ami ran towards the shout, Luna in her arms.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Ranma stood there, in his usual clothes, eating nuts. Someone else was dressed up, throwing roses at a living plant.

This was Moon's predicament.

"If you're here…" Moon's heartrate went off the charts.

Ranma nodded.

"Then who…" Moon's eyes widened. "No… no, no, NO! It's not true! It's impossible!"

Ranma chewed nuts, zoning out. "Search the bag… Look, a shoe…"

"NOOOOOO!" Moon cried. "NOoo…"

"You have blue hair…" Ranma said aloud.

Moon's veins popped on her head. "What is wrong with you!?"

Ranma chewed nuts. "Hi, Akane, what's up?"

Moon sweatdropped.

Vines started closing in on the two teens.

"It is a great day for poisoning pigeons…" Ranma sang. "Poisoning pigeons in the park…"

Moon's eye twitched. "If you're going to be loopy, do it somewhere else. I have a Youma to dust."

Ranma just stood there and ate nuts.

Moon, frustrated, ran back into the garden.

That's when Ami came by, Luna in her arms.

"Ranma!" Ami exclaimed.

"Yo." Ranma stood there, eating nuts.

Ami frowned. "What are you doing?"

Ranma shrugged. "I dunno… Blue hair… too…"

Ami looked down at Luna, who sweated.

"Dost thou not see? The fierce one has come back to defeat thee!" TophatRose boasted.

Luna scowled. 'There's that guy who pushed me over!'

Ami waved a hand in front of Ranma's face.

Ranma didn't react.

"Yeah…" Ami rolled her eyes. "Enemy… Ranma, look that way."

Ranma glanced the way Ami was pointing and ate nuts.

Ami transformed into Sailor Mercury and dashed to go help, leaving Luna with Ranma.

"Tree…" Ranma muttered.

Luna glared at the pigtailed lad.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Moon really hoped for a weedhacker, or giant shears… or even a machete, really. The vines were getting too much for her.

"Stop being so slippery!" 8001 yelled angrily at Sailor Moon.

Moon stuck out her tongue. "Why don't YOU stop messing around and get back with Harley!"

Mercury rolled her eyes at the two bantering and came up with an idea.

Quietly moving, Mercury snuck around in a wide berth behind the Youma. However, she had to stop once she saw the schoolgirls trapped in liquid goo.

Mercury covered her mouth to prevent herself from gasping at the sight. With a shiver, she decided to act immediately.

"Now, Senshi… you will die." 8001 smiled evilly.

Moon burst out in laughter, causing the Youma to growl.

"What's so funny? Eh? Bubble fog?" 8001 blinked in confusion as the area became engulfed in bubble fog. "Dammit!"

Moon smirked.

The Youma facepalmed. "Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT! Idiot! There are three of them! St-"

Her sentence was cut short as a fist impacted her jaw.

*Thud* The Youma hit the ground hard.

Moon took off her tiara and launched it at the fallen Youma.

*FWOOSH* Dust spewed into the air, creating a large cloud.

The fog dissipated, revealing a crater in the ground.

Moon coughed as the dust entered her lungs. "Well, that was anticlimatic…"

"Nevertheless, she is triuph-OOF!" TophatRose was cut off by a sucker punch from Moon as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"NO THANKS TO YOU!" Moon growled. "GO TO HELL!"

TophatRose cried in agony as he was punted away, becoming a twinkle in the sky.

"Stupid…" Moon shook her head. "Oh well, now to free the schoolgir-ACK!"

A vine shot out, wrapping itself around Moon's neck, choking her on the last word.

8001 stepped out of the shadows, smirking. "Oh, I'm afraid THAT won't happen…"

The smug Youma walked right up to Moon and grabbed her chin, looking into her eyes behind the mask.

"I've learned from my bosses. Teleporting is VERY handy…" 8001 laughed.

Moon struggled, her hands trying to get the vine to let go.

8001 licked her lips. "I wonder how much energy you have… Maybe I'll get promoted."

Moon smiled.

The Youma shook her head. "Losing blood to your head, I see…"

*Snap*

8001's eyes widened as Moon pulled the vine apart, freeing herself.

"Please, this choker is far more constrictive than that pathetic plant." Moon smirked. "You aren't going to die today, are you?"

The Youma narrowed her eyes. "I'm taking those girls with me."

*BONK* A tree branch hit the Youma on top of the head, causing her to fall over.

Moon caught the Youma by the neck, choking_ her_.

"Stop worrying me, Moon." Mercury threw the tree branch that she was holding away. "I hate having to fix you up all the time."

Moon shrugged. "I had it covered. You freed the schoolgirls?"

Mercury nodded. "Are you going to dust her now?"

Moon looked down at the Youma, who was unconscious in the Senshi's grip. "I have a better idea…."

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Luna glared at Ranma.

Ranma ate nuts, looking at the mooncat oddly.

Luna bared her teeth.

Ranma blinked.

'Why is he acting this way?' Luna wondered. 'Is he planning something?'

Ranma crouched down and pointed at Luna. "You… are a fake cat…"

Luna narrowed her eyes.

"Why… evil… disguise?" Ranma ate nuts. "Alien…"

Luna held her ground, wondering what he was up to.

Ranma slowly closed his eyes and scratched his head. "Wait… you… Something… bad…"

Luna's tail stood straight up as she tried to look bigger.

Ranma seemed to struggle with what he was going to say, but then shook his head slowly, returning to eating nuts.

Luna watched him cautiously.

"Look… familiar…" Ranma pondered aloud and started pacing, eyes unfocused.

Luna's eyes widened as vines started moving, flowing towards Ranma. The mooncat took two cautionary steps back as the vines approached.

"Tired…" Ranma yawned and sat down… onto a group of vines that formed a chair for him.

'I knew it! I knew it! I KNEW IT!' Luna screamed internally. 'He's EVIL!'

Ranma leaned back, the vine chair adjusting to him. "Moon… pretty…"

Ranma put his feet up and was supported by the vines as he looked at the Moon in the sky.

Luna's heart pounded in extreme fear and she was ready to bolt when she heard something.

"NO THANKS TO YOU!" Moon growled. "GO TO HELL!"

Luna looked towards the deeper garden, only to see the man who knocked her over twinkle in the sky.

"Ding…" Ranma muttered, still eating nuts in his relaxing chair made of vines.

Luna's mind raced. 'What to do? What CAN I do?! This Ranma must work for… for HER… OF COURSE! The hair! When a girl Ranma has that red hair! He must… SHE must be… OH NO!'

Just when Luna was going to have a heart attack, Moon and Mercury came out of the garden, Moon holding a Youma by the neck.

"Hey, Luna…" Moon greeted casually. "You getting along with Ranma yet?"

Luna held herself from screaming… out loud, at least. 'SHE'S THE ENEMY!'

Mercury stroked her chin. "I will need a few things, but I think I can make this work. As for Ranma… what's with the vines?"

"Yo." Ranma raised his hand for a moment as he ate nuts.

"Hm…" Mercury scrunched her lips. "I need to test something…"

Ranma turned his head very slowly. "Hey, Ami…"

Moon's eye twitched and she stomped over to Ranma, grabbing him by the shirt. "STOP! BEING! SO! **SILLY**!"

Ranma was shaken back and forth, punctuated for emphasis… and Sparta.

Mercury started typing things on her tablet. "I don't detect anything evil. Odd, but not evil…"

Luna lost her faith in humanity… or whatever the Senshi were. 'We're doomed…'

"Aliens…" Ranma muttered once he was not being shaken anymore.

Moon's eyes widened in realization. "He's right… the insane guy on TV is right! Aliens DID visit in the ancient past! Luna, the aliens did do stuff to humans on Earth in the past, right!? Cats… 5000 years ago! EGYPT! TV is right again! Come on, Ranma!"

Moon grabbed Ranma's pigtail with her free hand and ran home, the Youma under her other hand, leaving Mercury with Luna.

Luna cried. "Mercury… please believe me. You are my only hope…"

Mercury sighed. "I need proof to see if Ranma is evil, Luna. Now, come on, let's go home. I need to examine this further…."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Michiru sipped tea, her body calm and relaxed. She gazed at her father playing shogi with Genma… as a panda. This caused the greenish-bluish-haired girl to shake her head, for it was a hard thing to believe.

With a deep, soothing breath, Michiru enjoyed the quiet, peaceful atmosphere that-

"HI-I'M-HOME-BYE!" Moon blurted as she zipped through the room, causing a huge gust of wind to blow by.

Michiru sighed as her hair blew in the gust. "Typical…"

Moon got to her room and slammed the door. "Wow! That's the fastest I've run EVER! WHOOO! What do you think of THAT, Ranma?"

Ranma ate nuts, unmoved.

Ranma was let go of and he lay on the floor, still unresponsive to much of anything.

Akane's face fell as she transformed back. "Well… the Youma's still out. But how can I restrain her?"

Ranma shrugged slowly.

Akane looked around her room for something, anything useful.

That's when the Youma began to stir.

*WHACK* Akane punched the Youma's head with her fist.

"She can teleport, so…. Hmm…" Akane scratched her head, tongue sticking out. "Think… think, think, think…"

As Akane tried to figure out what to do, Ranma contemplated Akane's ceiling.

"But what would be the best way to freeze-" Akane snapped her fingers. "Of course! Why didn't I think of it before! Ranma, stay here. I have to take care of this Youma."

Ranma blinked as Akane ran off, Youma in tow.

Soon after, Ami walked down the hall with Luna.

"And that's why I think he is evil-ALALAHHH!" Luna flipped out seeing Ranma lying in Akane's bedroom, door open.

"Yo." Ranma waved.

Ami rolled her eyes. "Hello again, Ranma. What are you doing there?"

The pigtailed boy shrugged.

Ami rubbed her chin. "You've been acting… odd. Did you hurt your head, by any chance?"

Ranma looked confused and nodded, then shook his head, then raised an eyebrow.

Ami tapped her lips in thought. "Does your head hurt?"

Ranma slowly nodded, unsure.

Ami glanced at Luna, who just shook violently in sheer panic. "Can you get up off the floor and follow me to my room?"

Ranma nodded.

A minute passed by, neither moving before Ami took a deep breath. "Will you do so?"

Ranma got up and followed Ami to her room.

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Akane sighed in relief and dusted off her hands. "Good thing we have malletspace technology."

The blue-haired girl was about to leave the kitchen with a smile, confident that the Youma would be on ice, literally, until some other form of freezing could be invented by her twin.

But that's when Michiru walked in.

"What are you doing?" Michiru demanded.

Akane blinked. "Walking…"

Michiru raised an eyebrow.

Akane's eyes shifted left to right, suspiciously. "What are YOU doing? HUH?!"

Michiru sweatdropped. "Get out of the kitchen, please."

Akane nodded and made a run for it. "I regret nothing!"

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Ami sat on a red chair, glasses sliding down her nose and a notepad and pen in her hands. "Headaches, you say?"

Ranma nodded as he lay on Ami's bed, somewhat dazed.

"Interesting…" Ami tapped the pen to her lips. "For something to bother you this much, it must be very severe. This isn't the first time this has happened, correct?"

Ranma nodded.

"Did you ever see a doctor for this?" Ami asked.

Ranma nodded.

"And what did the doctor say?" asked Ami as she jotted down some notes.

Ranma shrugged. "Dunno. but Pops said I have to take medicine."

"Hmm…" Ami wrote down more. "Interesting. Very interesting…"

*BANG BANG BANG* Akane slammed her fists on Ami's door.

"AMI-I-I-EE! Why did you steal my fiancé?" Akane whined.

Ami pinched her nose.

"Stuff… loud…" Ranma muttered.

Ami sighed. "Would you show us what you did to cause you to act this way?"

Ranma nodded and stood up.

Luna bit her lip as she hid in Ami's closet, unsure what to make of the scene.

Ami opened her door and stepped to the side, causing Akane to fall forward and smack into the floor.

"That didn't hurt…" Akane lied.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Ranma stood in front of his pack and pulled out an empty container.

"Hmm…" Ami took the container from Ranma and read the label. "Maximum strength painkillers… seems you ran out. Doesn't explain your behavior, though…"

Akane waved her arms in the air. "Yeah! What gives!?"

Ranma shrugged.

Ami raised an eyebrow. "Maybe you overdosed? How many did you take at once? This is a fairly new medication…"

Ranma made a chugging motion with his arm and head.

Ami's eye twitched. "You… you don't mean…"

"YOU _DRANK_ THE WHOLE THING?! THEY'RE **PILLS**!" Akane chibified and ranted. "Honestly! No wonder!"

Ami sighed. "Side effects of overdosing include extreme drowsiness, and… whatever you were doing earlier."

Ranma looked upward. "Had to… Head hurt…"

Akane flipped out and got in front of her twin. "FIXHIM-FIXHIM-FIXHIM-FIXHIM!"

"Relax…" Ami grabbed Akane's shoulders.

Akane suddenly slumped against Ami. "Ahhhaha…"

Ami rubbed her forehead, taking off her glasses and putting them away. "Why don't you get some rest, Ranma. Sleep this out. It'll be easier getting answers when you're coherent."

Ranma nodded slowly and went to bed.

"Hey… Ami… why are your eyelashes so big? " Akane grinned drowsily.

Ami looked down at Akane. "'Kane… I seemed to have overdone it."

Akane nodded. "I can't feel my legs… or arms… or much… But if you get me a sword, I'll scare the prince…"

"Really?" Ami raised an eyebrow. "You can barely stand… I think you should just go to bed."

Akane sniffled. "Yes… pwease, super-twin awesome Ami the Great!"

Ami covered her mouth to try to hold back her giggles, but to no avail. "Oh, fine… but you are helping me with the freezing."

"Yes!" Akane smiled.

Ami smirked.

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The Tendo twins snuck down the stairs, Akane leaning on Ami and trying not to laugh.

Ami rolled her eyes at her twin's ploy, and half dragged her down the stairs.

Akane leaned in and whispered to her twin, "I'll distract Michi. You get to the kitchen and make the sauce…"

Her twin pinched her nose and whispered back, "So we're going THAT route, then?"

"Yes. Yes, we are…" Akane whispered. "At least for now, getting carbonite freezing done right would take too long, yeah?"

Ami reluctantly agreed. "Plan Z, then."

"And go!" Akane nearly laughed.

Ami nodded and leaned Akane on the edge of the stairs before continuing down to the kitchen.

When Ami was out of sight, Akane counted a minute in her head before standing up and walking down the stairs…

*CRASH*

Falling down would be more accurate, however.

"Ow…" Akane muttered to herself.

Michiru was immediately over her. "Are you alright?"

Akane winced. "Not really. Ow. I could use a hand…"

The oldest Tendo daughter helped the youngest to her feet.

"Please, little sister, you are a martial artist…" Michiru scolded.

Akane hung her head. "I know… See, Ranma has been acting weird because he drank a bottle of painkillers…"

Michiru blinked in shock. "… What?"

"Yeah, he wandered the street, eating nuts… NUTS!" Akane threw her arms into the air. "His animal advisor of a parent sucks at his job…"

Michiru frowned. "Mr Saotome isn't an animal advisor…"

"I guess you're right…" Akane sighed. "You have to give advice for that to work…"

The house shook as Genma walked over, still a panda. [Hey! I give great advice!]

Michiru closed her eyes and sighed sadly.

Akane smirked. "Alright then, prove it! Your son has a massive headache. What do you say to that?"

[Take your medicine!] Genma's sign read.

"Oh, OK," Akane made a motion of chugging painkillers. "*Glug glug glug* WhooOoo… whoa… Look… it's a panda. Hi, panda. Do you do tricks?"

[Well, I don't like to brag… Wait, what?] Genma scratched his head in confusion.

"You are not supposed to chug pills!" Akane cried as her eyes turned into greater and less than signs. "Honestly!"

[Yes, you are.] Genma raised his eyebrow. [Or at least he is. It's the only way they work these days…]

"Bad panda. BADDD!" Akane narrowed her eyes and gave him the pointy finger. "You get more concentrated doses, not more pills!"

Michiru facepalmed.

[But you don't get it! Those were the strongest ones they made!] Genma seemed to whine. [In the fifteen years of this, it was only this month that he had to take the whole bottle!]

Michiru was shocked. "FIFTEEN YEARS?!"

Genma blinked. [Yes… this has been going on his whole life. Only when he started talking did we know it was something serious. Whiny brat.]

Akane whistled. "Wow…"

"We need to get him to the doctor…" Michiru bit her lip.

Akane snickered.

[We DID!] Genma growled. [He said to give him the painkillers. They were free…]

"Bad panda, bad panda… You obviously met an impersonator." Akane shook her head and looked past Genma. "DAD! Did you steal his glasses?" She turned back towards Genma. "You had glasses, right?"

Soun looked up from his game, at which he'd been cheating. "Huh?"

Michiru shook her head. "I'm going to check on Ranma. Hopefully this isn't as bad as you said…"

Akane smirked as her sister went up the stairs.

[I have my glasses right here, girl.] Genma waved his glasses in front of Akane's face.

Akane crossed her arms. "Why aren't they on your face?"

[…] The panda was speechless.

"Honestly…" Akane began pushing Genma towards the front door. "The Doctor loves the British people for some reason; hopefully he's off messing around with Sailor V. Anyway, find out what is wrong and fix your son, 'K?"

*Slam* went the front door as Genma found himself standing outside it.

[What just happened?] his sign read.

Soun looked at his youngest blankly. "What... was that about?"

Akane held out her hands. "Aliens…"

Soun blinked and scratched his head, totally lost.

Akane smirked and headed for the kitchen.

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Ami dusted off her hands. "That should do it…"

"Tickle belt," Akane spoke with a fake yawn right outside the kitchen.

Ami wiped her forehead. "Wallets."

*Zoom* Akane zipped into the kitchen, a giant grin on her face.

"Good. We have two minutes before Michi gets down here again. Does it work yet?" Akane bounced from leg to leg in joy.

Ami shook her head. "It needs to be tested first."

"Oh, so…" Akane's eyes widened. "No… When you said… That means I have to…"

Ami nodded.

"Fish paste!" Akane grit her teeth. "Fine, we're out of time. Fire it up."

Ami waited until Akane stood in the middle of a meter-wide circle made of metal that was connected to a control panel before pushing the lever to freeze.

Within seconds, Akane was flash frozen in tartar sauce.

Ami rolled her eyes as she saw her twin with her tongue out and one eyelid pulled down.

"Do you hear me now?" Ami asked the frozen Akane.

The frozen block didn't respond.

Nodding in satisfaction, Ami pulled the lever to unfreeze.

*Splat* Akane fell right onto the floor.

Ami bent down to Akane's twitchy level. "How was it?"

Akane spat and got to her knees. "Couldn't move. Blacked out, really. Good to go, I'd say."

The slightly older twin stood up to her full height. "I'll take care of big sister… I trust you know what you're doing."

Akane's face had to be seen to be believed. -_-

"Right…" Ami left the kitchen in a flash.

Akane opened the freezer and pulled out the Youma, who was already in a giant block of ice.

With a smirk, the Tendo girl placed her in the center of the circle and pulled the lever to freeze.

"Excellent…" Akane pressed her fingers together evilly.

Without wasting any more time, the tartar-coated Akane cleaned up the mess and lifted the machine that housed the Youma effortlessly, carefully pulling it out of the kitchen and towards the dojo.

'Plan Z is a success!' Akane laughed to herself. 'And next on the agenda… a bath! With BUBBLES!'

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Michiru frowned as she took her hand off of Ranma's forehead. "He's burning up…"

"Very abnormal," Ami muttered as she came into the room. "I should have noticed that. But then again, it isn't something we would normally look for. These drugs don't usually cause fevers, after all…"

Michiru sighed. "True… So, did Akane ruin my kitchen?"

"She didn't." Ami shook her head and switched to English. {Talk to Luna. She thinks Ranma may be dangerous.}

Michiru nodded. "Where is she?"

"My room," Ami answered. "Save my dinner; this might take a while."

Michiru sighed and left the room, assured that Ami would handle Ranma's situation.

Luna wasn't too hard to find. She was pacing in the closet, worrying.

Michiru bent down to her level. "Luna… what is it that you need to talk to me about?"

The mooncat fretted. "It's Ranma… I sense a bad vibe coming from him. Not only does he hate me, but he knows where I'm from. He could be an enemy."

Michiru frowned. "That does not sound good…"

"Hopefully I'm worrying about nothing." Luna's ears lowered. "But if he is bad news…"

"Any other evidence here?" Michiru asked.

Luna nodded. "In our fight, the vines-"

"Wait, wait, wait… Fight?" Michiru was alarmed. "What fight?"

Luna sighed. "Akane encountered a Youma… Ranma was with her, eating nuts and spaced out. This Youma was like a plant, I could tell. It was controlling the plants in the area and capturing schoolgirls. While Ami was able to free them, I had my eye on Ranma and he was acting… strange. Not only was he out of it, but the vines bent to his will."

"That is…" Michiru looked away. "Alarming."

Luna nodded. "What's more, Akane took the Youma prisoner instead of simply destroying it. Ranma's influence, I bet."

"So THAT is why Akane was being so confusing." Michiru stood up. "If Youma are coming back… we really need to stick together."

Luna agreed. "I may have something that could help…."

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Akane, who was now squeaky clean, Soun, who had a newspaper on the table in front of him, and Genma, human once more, sat around the table and waited for food.

The youngest was the most enthusiastic, her body swaying back and forth.

'Now that we haz a Youma, as cats would say… her secrets will be ours! It's delicious! And speaking of delicious… I wonder what we are going to eat tonight. Most honorable eldest sister usually likes to make surprising things when guests are over… But are they permanent guests or what? Hmm…' Akane wondered silently to herself. 'Is there a time limit? Do they just become part of here? When is that? Is it after the marriage? And as for that, what if things go wrong? What if cold water splashes at a bad time? Does Ranma have a secret identity as a girl? So many questions! Damn it! Where's dinner? I get questiony when hungry! AHH!'

Genma raised an eyebrow as he saw Akane's head fall and slam into the table.

Soun didn't react, his eyes closed and arms folded.

"Tendo?" Genma asked. "When-"

Soun cut him off. "Patience, Saotome. It shall be worth the wait."

Genma accepted that.

"Akane, where is Ami… or Ranma, for that matter?" Soun asked of his daughter.

Akane rolled her head to the side. "She's treating him. Mr. Saotome… this Doctor impersonator… Did he even have a weird-looking handheld device?"

Genma blinked. "No…"

"Gullible," Akane mumbled. "Oh well, at least Ami can fix him. Be wary of people proclaiming to be the Doctor. Did you know you can just **buy** labcoats? Yeah… add a clipboard and BAM! Medical degree."

Genma glanced at Soun, who sighed. "Just smile and wave, Saotome. Just smile and wave…"

Akane smiled. "Being a penguin won't do any good, though…"

That's when Michiru came in with the food.

"Alright, let's eat…" Soun sighed blissfully.

"Wait!" Akane looked around frantically. "Someone's missing…"

Genma's eye twitched. "You just SAID that your sister was treating my son. And you were awfully insulting-"

Akane cut him off. "Where's LUNA?!"

"…" Everyone else in the room sweatdropped.

Michiru sighed. "Let's just eat…"

Akane grumbled. "Alright, alright, she's being catty… But I'm still saving some for her."

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After dinner, the three Tendo girls… and Luna… were in Akane's bedroom, discussing things.

Akane whispered, "You'd better be quick and quiet if you want to keep this a secret, Luna."

Luna nodded and pushed forward three pink, flimsy, credit-card-sized, plastic-looking things with tiny screens.

The three girls blinked.

Michiru picked one up carefully. "What… are these?"

"Communicators," Luna replied softly.

Akane picked one up and pressed a button.

*BEEP*

Nothing happened, except for static on the tiny screen.

Luna sweated. "Try again…"

Akane kept pressing buttons, but nothing else was showing up on the screen.

Ami pressed a button as well, getting the same result.

Michiru sighed. "That wasn't supposed to happen… was it?"

Luna shook her head fiercely. "I don't know WHY they aren't working!"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Didn't I tell you? The Furinkan area of Nerima is a dead zone. No reception here. Zilch. No matter how many towers are put up, something just keeps jamming any cell phone communication. Why? I dunno. It's a mystery that even_ I_ wasn't able to solve. It's also why no one has a cell phone... except eldest sister… but that's because she travels. We still have internet, though, so it's not too bad."

Luna's eye twitched.

Ami collected them from her sisters. "I'll see what I can do… but no promises."

Michiru stood up. "Well, I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, big sister!" the twins chorused.

And Michiru left.

Ami got up. "Goodnight, 'Kane."

"'Night!" Akane smiled.

And Ami left as well.

Akane yawned and turned off the lights. "Goodnight, Luna."

Luna collapse on her bed, and wept.

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**Author's notes:** dun dun DUN! Stuff is happening! AHH! Anyway, I was told that this was going to be covered chapters ago about the cell phone thing, but stuff happened. Thank you for continuing to read and everything. Stay tuned! Things get crazy… er.


	8. Don't know what to do

The **Red** Side of a **Blue **_**Moon**_

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** reading fanfics can waste valuable time. It can also kill time. Moderation is key. But it isn't a blade. Or is it? O_o

**Caution:** we are at 40 k words now. I hope that means more people reading me, the Text.

**Happy fathers day!:** go be nice to your father. Hopefully he is better than Genma and Soun. If not, then ouch... Text feels for you. Wonder what Noy will do today... Telinú was messing with green paint...

**Reviews:** they are for me AND for you! Grymloq, you're welcome. Noy hates Usagi and Tux boy… that's kinda why SM is actually someone not stupid. Compucles, it IS a fukufic… don't you read these? Or the profile? luger 7, so is your hair. Guest, yet there are so few favorites… WHY? Keja-B, good enough for me! hero in a cup, what you are saying is true, from a certain point of view… James Birdsong, Amazing? Fantastic!

You have been warned….

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**Chapter 7: Don't know what to do**

Morning music started again, as usual. It was the same every day…

*Record screech*

Until now!

Neighbors yelled and complained about the noise of the Saotomes beating each other up.

But it just made Akane smile.

"Breakfast is ready!" Michiru announced.

*Splash*

Akane snickered as a girl and her panda came into the house, soaked.

"It's not funny," Ranma mumbled, grabbing the hot water left out for them.

"For you…" Akane pointed out. "To me, it is actually pretty funny."

Ranma sighed and changed back.

"How is your head?" Ami asked, observing Ranma carefully.

Ranma shrugged. "Same as always. What happened last night? I remember some… stupid things…"

"You _chugged_ painkillers. That's the only stupid thing that happened last night," Akane stressed.

Genma objected, now human. "Now see here, GIRL!"

*Splash*

Akane put down her cup and looked Genma in the eye. "BAD animal advisor!"

*Whack*

The youngest Tendo karate chopped him in the head.

Ranma laughed, Ami forced her face neutral, Michiru hid her giggles, and Soun… cried.

Michiru shook her head and spoke up. "Anyway, breakfast is here. So let's eat."

"Thank you for the food!" the group said quickly, except for Genma, who raised a sign.

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"Still don't like school…" Ranma mumbled as he walked with the Tendo sisters.

"That makes three of us." Akane shrugged. "We are made to suffer; it's our lot in life."

Ami sighed. "That is because you watch too much television instead of reading…"

"HEY!" Akane pointed at her twin. "I read stuff!"

"Only manga," Ami clarified.

"WRONG!" Akane crossed her arms. "I have read other books… although usually only after the computer cheats too much and I have to look something up…"

Michiru rolled her eyes. "Little sister, you are such a {geek}."

"Why, thank you!" Akane smiled.

Michiru growled. "{Geek} is an otaku, little sister."

"Nuh uh!" Akane stuck her tongue out. "One, I am a girl… TWO, I am a teen, three, they mean different things…"

"Hello there," Haruka announced her presence.

Ranma stopped in his tracks. "Hi…"

Michiru smiled. "Good morning, Haruka. Nice to see you again…"

"Now kiss!" Akane grunted, annoyed. "If you to want to play lovebirds, do it when I'm not around…"

Ami sighed. "'Kane…"

"No, it's fine." Haruka smiled. "She's more beautiful when angry."

Ranma raised an eyebrow at this. "Uh huh. Right, _sure_ she is. Who are you?"

Haruka bowed dramatically. "As the love of my life said, I am Haruka, the best racecar driver in Japan and absolutely flawless…"

Akane snicked at that and sang, "_Absolutely flawless…_"

Ranma blinked, confused and looked over to Ami.

"It's an in joke." Ami shrugged.

"Uh huh." Ranma shook his head. "So… what's your family name? Or are you ronin?"

"That's… classified." Haruka looked away.

"Kuno," Akane blurted.

Haruka glared at Akane.

Ami and Michiru synchronized a facepalm.

Ranma's eyes widened.

The youngest Tendo shrugged. "It's true. Did your brother get over his obsession with me?"

Haruka groaned. "No, unfortunately. Though he does have obsessions with… other girls as well now. Particularly the one named Moon…"

"DAMMIT!" Akane growled.

"Who?" Ranma asked.

"He doesn't know WHO they are though, so…" Haruka rubbed her neck.

Akane balled her fists and stormed off. "KUNO!"

Ranma shook his head. "That jerk."

Ami nodded. "Yeah, I guess he is."

Michiru sighed. "I hope she doesn't kill him…"

The four people glanced at each other and took off after Akane.

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Ranma, Ami, Michiru, and Haruka stared blankly at the sight before them.

Akane Tendo was choking Tatewaki Kuno with one hand, holding him up in the air despite him being much taller… somehow.

"You stay away from Sailor Moon and the Senshi, you hear me?" Akane spat in his face, talking quietly so only he could hear. "If I find out you are harassing them, I swear, you will be frozen in carbonite, hanging on my wall. Mark my words, Rose Tophat."

Kuno gagged, trying to get Akane to let go.

Akane, moon symbol on her head, narrowed her eyes. "Do I make. Myself. Clear?"

Kuno couldn't really respond, choking and all.

Akane threw him aside, right into a tree.

"Tear this ship apart until you've found- Never mind…" Akane shook her head and walked into school.

The students didn't know what just happened.

Kuno flopped like a fish, gasping.

Ami glanced around. "Well, I have a class to teach. I will see you later…."

The blue-haired girl ran after her twin.

Ranma scratched his head. 'Who's Sailor Moon? What do soldiers have to do with anything?'

Haruka whispered to Michiru. "What did he do?"

"I have no idea. Did you hear what she said?" Michiru whispered back.

"No clue. I'm not a lip reader… besides yours, of course…" Haruka smirked.

Ranma rolled his eyes. "See you later."

Haruka watched Ranma leave with a frown. 'Akane's fiancé, eh? I'm keeping my eye on you….'

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Sayuri and Yuka fretted as they paced at their desks, anxiously waiting for Akane.

Nearby, some of the students were chattering.

"Seriously! Multiple Senshi last night, I swear!" a student stressed.

"But it was Kuno who said that!" another student countered.

"I heard explosions last night… and lots of yelling…" yet another student spoke up.

"It could have just been Akane. You know how she is," student number four suggested.

"What if Akane IS a Senshi?" a different student wondered.

The group looked at each other, pondering.

'Not good.' Yuka sweated.

That's when Akane barged in. "Honestly… Kuno… Why's everyone looking at me?"

Indeed, the whole class was.

"Do I have something on my face?" Akane asked.

Ranma strolled in, hands in his pockets. "Hey, Akane, what do soldiers have to do with anything?"

Sayuri's mind raced. 'Soldiers? Senshi. Sailor Senshi… RANMA KNOWS… kinda… maybe…'

"We have soldiers?" a random student asked.

Akane facepalmed.

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It was lunch at Furinkan High and it was chaotic.

The whispers grew throughout the school that there were Senshi in the area, fighting justice and being cute. Some were convinced it was actually Akane, doing something crazy again. Others thought it was true, that there were multiple Senshi there. Some thought it was actually Sailor V moving into the area. Others thought they were government robots fighting crime. Some of those thought they were from the future. And some of THOSE people thought they were fighting OTHER robots from the future who were trying to build Skynet. Many, however, especially in the upper two grades, thought it was just Kuno being Kuno. But some in Michiru's class thought that maybe… maybe there was some truth to it. After all, Akane _did_ beat up Kuno badly that morning, much more brutally than usual.

So when Akane got her lunch out, there were murmurs throughout the school.

"Akane… this is bad," Yuka whispered to her friend. "Some think you're a Senshi."

Sayuri was fidgeting in her seat, worrying about the rumors.

"Nah, I wouldn't worry too much," Akane whispered back. "It's Kuno."

Sitting away from everyone else, Ranma ate his lunch quickly without paying attention to the people in the room.

"Akane. The Senshi must definitely be Akane," Hiroshi theorized. "She's always in these messes."

"Well, if she is, which I don't know, then how about the others?" Daisuke asked. "Sayuri and Yuka? AMI? Michiru?"

Hiroshi rubbed his chin. "I… don't know… I doubt they would do that. I mean, yeah, they do stuff with her, but Sayuri and Yuka aren't that athletic and… I doubt the other Tendo sisters would do something that crazy."

"I dunno… Hey ,Ranma, what do you think?" Daisuke asked. "You live with the Tendos, are all the Tendo girls martial artists?"

Ranma blinked. "I dunno. I don't see the older two practice. Ami studies all the time and Michiru plays music and goes out with her boyfriend."

"But how about Akane?" Hiroshi asked. "Is she a Senshi?"

Ranma raised his eyebrow. "Why would she be a soldier?"

"No, no… a Sailor Senshi." Daisuke clarified. "Like Sailor V."

"What's a Sailor V?" Ranma scratched his head.

Daisuke and Hiroshi's jaws dropped.

"What?" Ranma threw his arms in the air. "What did I say?"

"This is going to be a loooong story…" Daisuke groaned.

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While on the outside Akane was portraying a calm, relaxed demeanor, inside, she was freaking out mildly. And it was only mild because she had a plan to fix her problem.

And she was so preoccupied on fixing the problem that she was ignoring Ranma as they were walking home.

"Hey. HEY!" Ranma got right into her ear. "AKANE!"

"AHHH!" Akane jumped. "What was that for!?"

"That's MY line!" Ranma growled. "You're really not paying attention."

"Yes, I… Wait… Where's my lunch?" Akane wondered as she looked around. "Did I just black out the rest of school?!"

"Apparently." Ranma rolled his eyes. "Anyway, there's this schoolgirl going around being a vigilante with magic, right? This Sailor V?"

Akane nodded. "Yeaaaaah… And?"

"Why haven't I heard about it!?" Ranma threw his arms into the air. "Three years? I mean, come on!"

"You're gonna have to ask your panda about that." Akane shrugged. "Seriously, why do you stick with him? He's a terrible animal advisor."

Ranma laughed despite himself. "Well, he raised me, so…"

"Yeah…" Akane shook her head sadly. "Well, I have stuff to do, so good luck finding a solution to your headache problem. Ami is awesome at healing things, so it would be a good idea to let her treat you when she gets home."

Ranma grumbled. "Fine…"

"Look, I know that being treated sucks, so I'll get you ice cream, alright?" Akane smiled.

"Ice cream?" Ranma blinked. 'I never had that before. Pops said it was only for girls.'

"Yep, I'll pay." Akane giggled. "Ice cream makes everything better!"

"Um…" Ranma wasn't so sure. "Well, guys and sugar…"

Akane spotted a puddle and smiled. "Well, there is a fix for that."

"Huh?" Ranma raised an eyebrow.

*Splash*

Akane put an arm around the now female Ranma. "There's no problem now. Besides, no one will recognize you like this, right? It's a chance to… unwind… and not worry about your manly image."

"I don't know…" Ranma looked away. "Pops…"

"Cursed you. Think of it as revenge," Akane suggested.

Ranma couldn't think of an argument against that. "Fine, I guess…"

Akane smiled. "Oh, you're so cute like that!"

*Rub rub rub*

Ranma's heart sped up as Akane rubbed her cheek against hers.

"See you later!" Akane waved and went inside.

Ranma shivered. "HEY! I'M A GUY! Guys aren't cute…"

But Akane was in her room already.

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Ami entered Dr. Tofu's office, focused on business but a little happier than usual.

*Ching-ging*

The bell rang as Ami walked in.

"Hello? Dr. Tofu-senpai?" Ami asked. "Are you available at this particular juncture?"

Dr. Tofu, practitioner of alternative medicine, came out of his office with a smile. "Hello there, Ami. Yes, I am available right now. What brings you here today?"

Ami sighed blissfully, and shook her head. "I have… a patient who has head trauma…"

"What happened to Akane this time?" Dr. Tofu pinched his nose and closed his eyes, fearing the worse.

"Fortunately, nothing." Ami sweatdropped. "Anyway, this… boy… has massive headaches that won't go away. It has been going on for over a decade and the best they can do is issue him higher and higher levels of painkillers, reaching the medically safe limit. And even that is now too little to combat them. They are seemingly random and impairing his life."

"Hmm…" Dr. Tofu rubbed his chin. "So he has the Ranma Saotome disease. Unfortunately, no one has made much progress on that due to there being only one diagnosed case on record. If this is true, it will be only the second known instance of this…"

Ami blushed, embarrassed. "Dr. Tofu-senpai …-san …-sama? Um… Ranma Saotome _is_ the one I am currently trying to help…"

"Really?" Dr. Tofu's eyes widened. "That's… fascinating! Could you bring him in? I would like to study him. How do you know him anyway?"

"Um… sure," Ami agreed. "He is 'Kane's fiancé…"

"Good for her." Dr. Tofu smiled.

"Yes. Yes, it is…" Ami's mind raced. 'That's right… With her and Ranma together… that means I'm free to try to get senpai to notice me!'

"I will be free only for an hour, though." Dr. Tofu glanced at the clock. "So I would appreciate it if you would bring him here shortly… if he is available, of course."

Ami nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I will! Anything for you, Dr. Tofu-senpai!"

Dr. Tofu sweatdropped. "Thank you, Ami…"

With that, Ami ran, ran, ran… all the way home.

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Michiru gazed out the window as Haruka drove down the streets of Tokyo with the top down. The couple's hair flowing in the wind was the only similarity in their expressions. Haruka was obviously enjoying herself, while Michiru was calmly bored with a hint of irritability.

"Hey, beautiful, why the sad face?" Haruka asked, seeing her love out of the corner of her eye.

"Your brother," Michiru answered bluntly. "I am sick of him causing trouble. Fighting Akane… Plus, he knows something about the Sailor Senshi…"

Haruka frowned. "Possibly. He **was** the one spreading rumors."

"What should we do? And by we I mean you," Michiru asked.

Haruka sighed. "I don't know…"

Michiru continued to gaze out of the car, watching the scenery go by in silence.

Haruka stayed quiet as well until they reached their destination.

"We are here…" Haruka informed, glancing at the clock. "Thirty-six minutes. Plan accordingly so that we make it here on time."

Michiru nodded and took in the place in front of her. "Viewing it from backstage… it's very awkward."

"I know what you mean," Haruka agreed. "The magic just… fades away…"

Michiru sighed. "Yes…"

"Still, DisneySea… Wow." Haruka smiled. "So many people would kill for this opportunity."

"I just hope no one DOES try to kill others when I'm performing," Michiru worried.

Haruka wrapped her arm around her girlfriend. "Don't worry. Even if this place does seem to lose some of its magic, YOUR magic can protect them from any threat."

Michiru smiled despite herself. "I hope so."

"That. Do that more," Haruka laughed. "You are even more beautiful when you smile."

Michiru kissed Haruka on the cheek. "Flattery will get you nowhere… except in bed."

Haruka laughed. "My place then?"

"Yes. You know why…" Michiru reminded.

With that, they left for Nerima.

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Akane slammed her door. "Luna! Problem! NOW!"

Luna lifted her head up. "Enemy attack?"

"Worse!" Akane got down to Luna's level. "Secret identity crisis!"

"Oh no!" Luna's eyes widened. "You didn't transform in public, did you!?"

"No, but people are spreading rumors that there are Senshi around, some saying it's me!" Akane worried. "I need a better mask."

Luna sweatdropped. "The mask-"

"Reveals too much!" Akane interrupted. "Really? White with glass eyeholes?! What kind of stupid idea is that!?"

"It's pretty," Luna mumbled.

"Well, pretty doesn't work. I need better…" Akane rubbed her chin. "What does the mask actually _do_, anyway?"

Luna made herself look regal. "The mask tracks targets, threats, and civilians in the area. It also helps track other Senshi as well as anyone else you may wish to locate."

"So… a super HUD, then?" Akane figured. "It would work better as an actual… **helmet**!"

Luna looked on worryingly as Akane giggled.

"Akane?" Luna reached out to touch the girl.

"Why didn't I think of it before?" Akane stood up. "Stay here! I'll be right back!"

Before Luna could react, Akane zipped out of her room.

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Ranma was practicing in the dojo, male again and already sweating.

The pigtailed lad was just landing from a jump when all of a sudden…

"Meep meep!" Akane meeped as she rushed past.

*Thump*

Ranma landed undignified on the floor. "What the?"

Akane disappeared into the shed next to the dojo.

Ranma scratched his head and walked over to the shed. "Why would Akane go in here?"

The wind blew the grass as Ranma stood here, wondering.

'Perhaps I should find out.' Ranma's hand reached for the door.

That's when someone came out of the dojo.

"Ranma!" Ami called out. "There you are!"

The pigtailed lad moved his hand away. "Oh. Hi, Ami."

"I need you to come with me to see someone. He may be able to help your… headaches," Ami worded carefully.

Ranma's gaze switched from the shed to Ami to the shed to Ami to the shed to Ami. "Alright. Lead the way."

Ami nodded and thus did so.

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Haruka groaned as she honked her horn. "Come on, move it!"

Michiru sighed as she saw the traffic getting worse. "If this way is so bad, we won't make it home until sunset."

"Great…" Haruka honked again. "Move it, people!"

"Perhaps we could go that way?" Michiru pointed. "Cruise by Tokyo Harbor?"

"Sure, why not? Anything is better than here." Haruka shrugged.

*Beep*

With a push of a button, Haruka's car flipped over, launching itself into the air…

*Splash*

… And into the harbor.

Michiru, frowned. "'Ruka!"

Haruka laughed. "Totally worth it. And we are _in_ the harbor now. Much better, don't you think?"

"You are SOOO getting it tonight." Michiru closed her eyes.

"Oooh!" Haruka bounced her eyebrows. "Is that a promise?"

Michiru giggled despite herself. "Yes…"

Haruka smiled and floored it, causing the car-turned-boat to zoom off, creating waves. "I'll keep you to that."

"Definitely." Michiru nodded.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• ••••••••••••

"I'm going to win again, Saotome…" Soun chuckled. "I'm on a roll!"

"Oh yeah?" Genma narrowed his eyes, trying to think of a solution. "Well, I have an ace up my sleeve…"

"It's shogi, Saotome, not a card game." Soun deadpanned.

Genma rolled his eyes. "_Riggghhhttt_. Anyway, your daughter will cause your demise! In three… two…"

Akane rushed by, causing the wind to blow wildly. "YOUDIDN'TSEEANYTHING!"

Soun's eye twitched as his hair was messed up.

"Oh, would you look at that, old friend?" Genma smiled. "Who's winning now?"

Soun glanced at the table to see that he was losing. "Awwww…."

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Akane slammed her door, sliding down the inside. "Whew! That was close…"

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but what's in that box?" Luna tilted her head.

Akane smirked. "The solution to my problem! Yay! Akane is so great! Yay…"

Luna rolled her eyes at Akane's celebration. "Care to explain?"

"Yep!" Akane giggled. "I need a way to keep others from knowing about me, right? And the mask sucks, so… why not a helmet?"

Luna sweatdropped. "Akane…"

"Is the awesome, I know." Akane smiled. "Right now I haz tree optionz! As you cats would say…"

Luna groaned.

"There's this one, Samus's helmet," Akane noted, pulling the first helmet from the box. "Nice red and green thing going on, and enough visor to see clearly while keeping others from seeing me! Although it doesn't really go with my outfit… and I'm obviously a girl in it. Not to mention having the armor too would be **sweeeet**… but it's still good."

Luna raised her eyebrow. "I don't think this will work…"

"And why is that?" Akane asked, hands on her hips. "You jelly?"

Luna stared at Akane in confusion. "I… Wha-… Never mind. The mask, your tiara… those are magic… Magic."

Akane slumped. "Oh, shoot. I forgot. The magic tiara of doom… This causes some problems. Unless…"

Luna blinked. "What?"

"Hold on…" Akane took a deep breath. {MOON POWAR!}

Luna closed her eyes.

"Khhjwohouwghiub… Glad I got that off my chest…" Akane sighed. "Thanks for listening…"

Luna sweatdropped. "Moon, what did you just say?"

Moon blinked. "What? You mean you weren't listening!?"

"All I heard was a compressed jumble of words," Luna answered. "The time differences between your point of view and others' while you transform makes it long for you and an instant for us."

"… What?" Moon asked flatly. "That is incredibly stupid."

"There's a time warping thing…" Luna shook her head. "It is complicated."

Moon's eye twitched.

"What's wrong?" Luna asked.

"Forget it…" Moon shook her head. "Anyway… what if I put the tiara on the OUTSIDE?!"

"What are you talking about!?" Luna nearly screamed. "That's improper! There are rules!"

"Rules, smchules, as long as I'm rich." Moon waved her hand, dismissing it. "Which I am."

Luna facepalmed.

"Yeah, hit yourself. Thinking rules apply to people with money." Moon stuck her tongue out in disgust. "Screw the rules, I have money."

"You are not getting it, are you?" Luna took a deep breath. "IT. IS. AGAINST. **THE RULES!**"

"Yeah… **and**?" Moon egged Luna to get to the point.

Luna's body shook in fury. "AHHHHHH! What is WRONG with you!?"

"Whoa, chill." Moon shook her head sadly. "You didn't even allow me to show you the other options. Here's the second helmet, MJOLNIR Powered Assault Armor/Mark V[B] Helmet with a blue visor. Ami built it herself. Although, I don't know if it is tech ready… In fact, I'm not sure any of these are."

Too tired to retort, Luna gave up and sat in her bed with a sigh.

"And then there's this. Mandalorian helmet, Old Republic Era style," Moon showed. "Although it's based more on Mandalore's rather than the standard-issue version… looks better, what with the T shape and all… and the redness fits me, right?"

Luna massaged her forehead. "It won't work."

"Oh yeah?" Moon smirked. "I'll prove you wrong!"

Luna watched as Moon took off her tiara… and froze.

"I can't decide!" Moon freaked. "I mean, Samus is good, but, that green… ehhh… And then there's the Reach helmet, but it doesn't seem as commanding… Especially compared to the Mandalorian one, but that's probably not as useful as the other two…"

Luna groaned. "I'm going back to sleep then…"

Moon slumped.

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Ami took a deep breath as she and Ranma arrived at the office of Dr. Tofu.

"Well, here we are," Ami announced.

Ranma looked around. "This is somewhat familiar…"

"Yes, I got hot water here on your first day," Ami reminded.

"Ah." Ranma nodded, understanding.

Ami smiled and opened the door. "Dr. Tofu, we're here."

The two teens walked in to find him sitting and drinking tea.

"Hello there," Dr. Tofu greeted.

Ami smiled. "Here he is, Doctor. Ranma Saotome…"

'Oh, this guy… Gotta be careful, he only saw me when I was a girl.' Ranma waved. "Hey."

Ami glanced at the clock. "Sorry, I have to leave for now. Thank you for doing this, Doctor."

With a quick bow, Ami left for cram school.

"Well then, let's get started." Dr. Tofu smiled. "I'm Dr. Tofu Ono. Please take a seat."

Ranma shrugged and did so.

"So, what can you tell me about your headaches, Ranma? In as much detail as possible, please." Dr. Tofu grabbed a pencil and notepad. "Don't be afraid to be open. I won't judge you, and there is confidentiality between me and you."

Ranma took a deep breath. "Well, it started almost fifteen years ago…."

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Michiru eventually started to enjoy speedboating on the water. Although the seas seemed to be rougher than the norm, Michiru didn't worry. This spike wasn't as big as even the day before.

Haruka was much more into it, however. "Money doesn't buy happiness… but it does make your life awesome! WHOO!"

Michiru smiled and shook her head. "But love is more important than money."

"Put them together, and what do you got?" Haruka smirked.

*BOOM!*

The shockwave of an explosion rocked the carboat.

"What was that!?" Haruka exclaimed.

Michiru's heart sank as the seas became excessively violent. "We are in trouble… THERE!"

Haruka looked to where her love was pointing to see a cruise ship floating perfectly fine. "I don't see anything wrong with it. Wait…"

That's when a fireball erupted from it.

*BOOM*

The carboat shook again.

Michiru narrowed her eyes. "Take me to it."

"WHAT!?" Haruka shook her head. "Are you crazy?!"

"There are Youma there… I know it." Michiru frowned.

Haruka calmed down. "There are? Then… I guess you have a job to do, Magic Girl…"

Before Michiru could respond, the carboat sped off towards the cruise ship.

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Moon gripped her head, hair in her hands. "I can't take it anymore!"

Luna was asleep; being around the Tendo house for a while now, she had learned to sleep through through such things easily. "Zzzz…"

*Ring r-ring*

Moon's eyes widened as the phone echoed throughout the house. "Why do I have a sinking feeling?"

*Ring r-ring*

Moon stood up "I should go get it… Wait! Mr. Saotome's there! I can't go like this! At least… not without a way to protect my identity!"

*Ring r-ring*

Moon made one final comparison in her head before grabbing the Mandalorian helmet and running out of her door.

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Soun messed with his moustache as he stared at the board.

*Ring r-ring*

Soun frowned. "Someone get that!"

*Ring r-ring*

Soun got up. "Forgot, no one else is here. It's my move, Saotome…"

[Suuurrre…] Genma raised a sign, as he was a panda.

*Ring r-ring*

Soun sighed and picked up the phone. "Hello, Tendo residence. Soun Tendo speaking."

"Hello, Mr. Tendo," Haruka spoke coolly.

"Haruka Kuno…" Soun's mood darkened. "What do you want?"

"Nothing much, nothing much…" Haruka lied. "I just need to talk to Ami or Akane…"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH MY OTHER DAUGHTERS!?" Soun displayed his demon head. "YOU BETTER HAVE NOT SOILED MY ELDEST'S PURITY!"

"Relax. I didn't do anything of the sort…" Haruka didn't even flinch. "I just need to talk to Ami or Akane."

That's when Moon skidded into the kitchen. "Who's that, Dad?"

Soun turned to Moon, still a demon head. "THE BOY WHO DARES TAKE MY MICHIRU FROM ME!"

Moon walked over and uncorked him, causing the demon head to deflate. "Calm down, Dad…"

"But he wants to take your sister's virginity…" Soun sniffled, normal again yet on the floor.

Moon rolled her eyes. "Didn't you want this to happen?"

"But not NoOoow…" Soun whined. "While I'm glad she's grown up and moved on to proper male-female relationships, she's still my little girl…"

"You'll still let me go all lesbian with Ranma as a girl though, right?" Moon asked, covering the phone receiver with her hand.

"Oh, yes, of course." Soun shrugged. "You are getting married first, after all."

"You're so weird…" Moon shook her head and took her hand off the phone. "Hey, Haruka. What's up?"

"Your eldest sister is being a magic girl at the harbor. You might want to help as well," Haruka informed, a bit impatient.

Moon's eyes widened. "I see… explains the waves I hear in the background… You're on your speedcarboat again, aren't you?"

"*BOOM* HURRY!" Haruka shouted.

"BYE!" Moon hung up.

"Speedcarboat?" Soun's eye twitched.

"Really awesome," Akane spoke quickly and put on her helmet. "_See ya_."

Soun stared blankly as Akane ran off.

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"… So it eventually came to be that no painkiller was strong enough and I was out of options." Ranma sighed. "Although when I was in China I found some more powerful stuff… It's untested and seems to mess with my mind."

"Interesting…" Dr. Tofu commented. "And how would you describd these headaches?"

"Well, at first it was annoying, but they got worse every time. Thankfully, due to my training I've been able to handle it, but it now feels like my brain wants to burst out of my head from all directions," Ranma groaned. "Can't concentrate at all when _that_ happens."

Dr. Tofu's pencil rhythmically tapped his lips. 'Nothing I can think of… Hmm…'

"Pops said that it was my fault for screwing up that training exercise when I was six, but I doubt it." Ranma snorted. "I can't really remember anything before that though…"

"Yes, this training exercise that you mentioned earlier… Care to elaborate?" Dr. Tofu asked.

Ranma looked away. "Let's just say that it was the one thing Pops regrets doing. At least that I know of…"

"I see…" Dr. Tofu frowned. "Was this exercise in any way shape or form… extraordinary?"

"Like what, magic?" Ranma asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just curious…" Dr. Tofu tried to deflect it.

"Well… maybe. Perhaps demonic, or…" Ranma scratched his head. "You know those comic books that Americans like? You know, manga but with color? It kinda… MAYBE seemed a bit like it belonged in one of those…"

Dr. Tofu nodded and wrote that down.

"You believe in magic?" Ranma asked, curious at the question. "You do… don't you?"

Dr. Tofu nodded. "Do you not?"

Ranma laughed. "I know magic exists. Believe me, I… ARRGGG!"

Dr. Tofu's eyes widened as Ranma gripped his head.

"It's happening AGAIN! DAMMIT!" Ranma bit his lip.

Dr. Tofu caught him as he fell to the ground, writhing in pain.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• ••••••••••••

Moon burst through her door, fortunately for her not breaking it. "LUNA! I need to get to the harbor!"

Luna snored. "Zzz…"

Moon picked her up and shook her. "I need to get to the HARBOR!"

"RahaHAhahhAHhh!" Luna yelped as she was shaken. "StoOoooP THAAAT!"

Moon did so, staring into her eyes. "HELP! Michiru is in danger!"

Luna took a deep breath. "Then we must go…"

"I KNOW THAT!" Moon screeched. "I was hoping you had some sort of way to get down there fast!"

"No… I'm afraid not." Luna looked down. "Doesn't Ami have some sort of way to do that?"

"Vehicles aren't her expertise…" Moon sighed. "It's on the other side of the city!"

"I'm sorry…" Luna looked away.

"Wait, I got it! Here we come, Biggest Sister!" Moon laughed and jumped out the window, Luna in her hands.

"Careful!" Luna screeched. "Did you REALLY have to do that?!"

Moon laughed. "No time to waste, my furry friend!"

Luna groaned. "Is that helmet cutting off your air supply? You are sounding a bit… off. More than usual."

"Nah, I can breathe just fine, even in SPACE!" Moon giggled. "Now… where was that lot…?"

Moon ran down the streets, carrying Luna in her arms, until she found the lot in question.

"Yes! Haha!" Moon burst into crazed laughter.

Luna was put on top of Moon's head as the girl opened the door to a broken-down shed.

There sat a '60s van, painted in bright colors.

"Oh, no… no, no… DON'T!" Luna shook violently.

Moon didn't care as she went inside. "It may not be a mystery, but it IS a machine. Oh, yes… watch out for dog droppings, Luna. I don't know if we got them all out."

Luna was scared stiff. "Do you even have a license?!"

Moon smirked. "You don't need a license to save the **WORLD**…"

With that, she turned the keys and started the van.

*VROOM*

"MWAHAHAHAH!" Moon laughed.

*ZOOM*

The van sped out of the shed and the lot, careening down the streets of Tokyo.

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Haruka got as close to the cruise ship as she could, bracing herself for any sudden swells. "Akane will be here as soon as she can, but don't count on her right away… Ready?"

Neptune nodded. "Wish me luck."

Haruka blew a kiss. "Best I can do, love, unless you want us to be killed…"

Neptune nodded and jumped onto the side of the ship, finding a foothold and pulled herself up.

That's when she heard a voice… a voice that would have sent shivers through a lesser Senshi.

"You fail again, Senshi. Too late… as usual," a male voice echoed throughout the ship. "But we must meet again sometime… if you survive, that is. Thetis, you have my permission to kill them. Ta-ta…"

"Damn you! *cough*" a young girl's voice was heard, obviously in pain.

"Beryl sends her condolences," an older female voice spoke coldly.

Neptune crept farther into the ship, still not seeing anyone.

*BOOM*

A giant fireball lit up the area in front of Neptune, signaling the way.

"Missed… again…" another young girl's voice declared, slower and softer than the other.

Neptune's eyes narrowed. 'Oh, no, you don't.'

Suddenly, giant columns of water came out of the ocean, slamming into the ship.

The vessel shook, almost knocking Neptune off her feet.

The screams of the two girls echoed throughout the ship.

*Splash splash*

Neptune growled and ran forward, searching for who was behind this.

"Foolish Senshi! While you may have killed Youma before… I am one of Beryl's best…" the self-proclaimed Youma sneered. "You will pay for your crimes against the Dark Kingdom and Queen Beryl."

Neptune rounded the last corner, now seeing the Youma in all its glory.

{Deep Submerge!} Neptune shouted angrily.

"Who?" The Youma turned, only too see a giant attack coming right at her.

Thetis moved out of the way in time… mostly.

"AHHH!" the Youma screamed in pain, falling to the floor as her legs turned to dust.

Neptune quickly reached the creature and stood over her. "Sailor Neptune. That is who, monster."

*Squick*

The faceless youma had a no mouth, but wanted to scream as Neptune stepped on her neck, the heel of her high heel going right through, causing tremendous pain.

*Squink*

The Youma's head rolled as Neptune tore it off with her heel.

"I am the Queen of the Seas, Youma…" Neptune spat. {Deep Submerge.}

Thetis turned to dust as the magic attack hit her.

Neptune gazed around, disgusted at what she saw.

People on the floor, holding hands… all still and unmoving.

"Hmm?" Neptune blinked.

The ship rippled, its illusion fading away to leave a rusty boat behind.

Neptune ran over to the edge, looking for the other Senshi. "Hello?! Anyone?!"

Neptune scanned the area around the boat, wishing that the sun would stay up just a while longer.

'Where are they?' Neptune worried, fearing the worst.

That's when she saw two figures, one red and one orange, making their way to shore.

"HEY!" Neptune shouted. "HEY!"

They didn't respond in any way.

Neptune groaned and left the boat, unaware that the people on board were still alive.

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While not common, most people in Tokyo have heard a cat scream at least once in their lives. More so when the internet came along. Still, the sound of Luna screaming was different than normal. For one, she wasn't actually a cat, and two, Akane Tendo was the cause.

Cats that heard the scream bowed their heads, observing a moment of silence for their… if a bit odd-sounding, cat sister. For they knew that type of scream…

"The clock is ticking!" Moon spoke as she drove like crazy. "I can't waste time! Should I take the streets or the roofs!?"

Luna still screamed the scream of her life. **"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

"Honestly…" Moon sighed. "You're a terrible navigator as well…"

*BEEP BEEP BEEEEP*

Cars honked.

"WATCH THE ROAD!" a driver spewed.

The van that Moon drove weaved through the streets recklessly.

"Arggh! We'll never make it in time at this rate…" Moon groaned. "Wait… a ramp!"

Luna dug her claws into the seat even further, scared out of her mind.

*Roomph!*

The van launched from the ramp, sending it skyward.

"Wow… we're flying…" Moon smiled in awe.

Luna screamed at the top of her lungs.

*THUD*

The van landed on a roof.

*THUD*

And skipped off it to another roof.

*THUD*

And roof jumped to another.

*THUD*

And another.

*THUD*

And another.

"Very convenient for these buildings to line up tallest to shortest," Moon commented.

*THUD*

"AHHHHHH!" Luna screamed.

"Hold on!" Moon yelled as they jumped off the last roof down to the street below.

*THUD*

*SCREECH*

Moon controlled the van, barely, as it zoomed down the street.

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Ranma was laid down by Dr. Tofu, fidgeting and seething in pain.

"You're burning up!" Dr. Tofu noted as he felt Ranma's head.

"GAH!" Ranma tossed and turned, gritting his teeth.

'This is worse than I thought.' Dr. Tofu bit his lip. "Hold still, I'll get some morphine."

Ranma panicked. "Wait! DON'T!"

*Bump*

Ranma's elbow hit Dr. Tofu in the groin, causing him to fall over backwards in pain. That in turn caused him to kick a bucket full of water with his foot, which flew in the air…

*Splash*

… Right into Ranma's face.

Dr. Tofu stared in amazement as Ranma transformed from a male to female. "… So it does exist. Ow…"

'Huh?' Ranma blinked as she felt her head. "It… It stopped…"

"Care to explain your *cough* appearance?" Dr. Tofu smiled, knowingly… as well as to hide his pain.

Ranma sighed. "It is all Pop's fault…"

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"There it is! I can see the ocean!" Moon laughed as she swerved the van towards the water. "Where is the boat though? Can't see a thing in this helmet…"

Luna, who had stopped screaming due to her throat hurting, yelled out again. "AHHHHH!"

Moon rolled her eyes, giving a disappointed sigh. "You really, REALLY need to listen to me and watch those movies, Luna. Although technically I'm wearing something from the EU…"

Luna's heart was beating so hard and so quickly that it literally leapt forward in her chest again and again.

"Shoot, we're coming in too fast!" Moon sweated. "HANG ON!"

Luna screamed.

The van turned right, nearly hitting two soaked girls who were catching their breath.

"Don'tflipdon'tflipdontflip!" Moon chanted as she turned the wheel.

The van started doing a sideways wheelie, two of its tires off the ground.

"LEAN, LUNA! LEAN!" Moon shouted, struggling to keep the van from toppling over.

*THUD*

The other two wheels landed back on the ground, a large 40 popping up before disappearing.

"Whew…" Moon panted. "That was close… Luna?"

Luna was shaking, teeth chattering, claws deep into the seat.

"There's Haruka!" Moon pointed out and braked, causing the van to stop on a dock.

Moon jumped out of the van, ready to fight.

"Akane?!" Michiru couldn't keep her voice calm. "How did… you… Oh, no."

Moon turned to see Michiru sitting in the carboat and wrapped in a towel.

"I told you she would get here."Haruka smiled. "Drove yourself?"

Moon slumped. "Yeah… Too bad I didn't make it here in time. I wanted to dust some Youma…"

Haruka shook her head as Moon moped. "Of course… You'r ewelcome."

"For what!?" Moon glared.

"If it weren't for my driving lessons, you wouldn't be here, would you?" Haruka smirked.

Michiru rubbed her forehead. "That explains _so_ much…"

Moon crossed her arms. "I'm not getting into a threeway with you and my sister."

"I'm not-" Haruka was cut off by her lover.

"Stop," Michiru demanded. "Now."

Haruka rubbed the back of her head, embarrassed. "Anyway… your sister said she saw something…"

"Two more Senshi. I lost sight of them, however." Michiru stated. "Unfortunately…"

"REALLY!?" Moon quickly scanned the area, glancing all over the docks. "No sign of any large power sources… Dammit…"

Moon fell to her knees, disappointed.

"So that helmet does something useful as well as hiding your beautiful face." Haruka smirked.

*BONG*

Haruka slumped over as the Mandalorian helmet hit her upside the head.

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"And that's it…" Ranma looked away, saddened.

"I see…" Dr. Tofu was leaning up against his counter, not hurting as much. "This problem you have with these headaches… It may be genetic…"

"What do you mean?" Ranma asked, confused.

"Since you are still wearing your clothes, and are still… you…" Dr. Tofu waved his hand. "Then this likely isn't the result of something lodged in your brain or a physical ailment such as cancer."

Ranma gulped. "It might have been cancer!?"

"Everything was on the table…" Dr. Tofu rubbed his chin. "Your condition is… unique. While people have headaches all the time, they are rarely this… violent. Tell me, have you ever been bitten by a genetically modified animal?"

"Wait, wait, wait…" Ranma shook her head in disbelief. "Bitten by a genetically modified animal? What, giving me superpowers? Are you serious?! I may not be a medical student, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like in fiction…"

"Says the short redhead girl who was a boy a five minutes ago," Dr. Tofu deadpanned.

"…" Ranma didn't have an argument for that.

"So, have you?" Dr. Tofu asked. "Or hit with a dangerous amount of nuclear radiation?"

Ranma scratched her head. "I… don't… know."

"Well, could I have a DNA sample, from both of your forms?" Dr. Tofu asked. "If it IS in your genes, then we may be able to pinpoint the problem."

Ranma looked down and sighed. "Fine…"

"Good. Until we can solve this, it would be smart to turn into a girl when you are having these headaches," Dr. Tofu suggested. "It seems to be the only thing that works."

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"Akane!" Michiru berated.

"He deserved it, oldest sister!" Moon complained.

"Ow…" Haruka groaned in pain.

Michiru narrowed her eyes. "It is MY job to rein Haruka in…"

"Well, you should do better at it…" Moon deadpanned.

"LITTLE sister!" Michiru frowned.

Haruka rubbed her head. "Calm down, calm down. I pushed it too far… My fault. Why don't I just get us home, alright?"

Moon sighed. "Fine."

Michiru took a deep breath. "Alright…"

"Good." Haruka pushed a few buttons. "Helicopter will come pick up the van. It'll be held at my house, alright?"

Moon's eyes widened. "Wait a second…"

Haruka and Michiru had giant question marks over their heads as Moon went back inside the van.

Michiru groaned as she saw a detransformed Akane with a scared-stiff Luna.

"Akane… why did you bring Luna?" Michiru wondered why she even bothered asking.

"Well, we WERE going to fight Youma, so… why not?" Akane rolled her eyes. "Honestly…"

Haruka shrugged. "Makes sense."

Akane nodded and jumped into the carboat. "Onward!"

Haruka laughed. "Once your sister kisses my injury."

"Oh, fine…" Michiru leaned over and did so.

With that, Haruka drove off.

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Ranma exited Dr. Tofu's clinic, rubbing her cheek. "Weird way to do that. Too bad I still have to be a girl… Stupid headaches."

The pigtailed girl grumbled and started walking towards the dojo.

"Ranma!"

Said girl turned around to see Ami waving.

"Oh, hey, Ami…" Ranma greeted.

Ami smiled. "So, how did it go with Tofu-sensei?"

"Stuff sucks," Ranma groaned. "Best cure for headaches is to be a girl. And being one sucks…"

Ami sweatdropped. "You obviously haven't been around the female sex very often…"

Ranma sighed. "Not really. Pops said-"

Ami cut him off. "He wants to control you. Really, it's pretty obvious."

"It's not… I mean… Really, it's… I…" Ranma slumped. "So what?"

"The 'what' is that being female isn't a bad thing," Ami answered. "In fact, there are perks."

"Like?" Ranma raised an eyebrow.

"Ranma… have you ever had ice cream before?" Ami smiled.

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"You know, you still haven't given me that ice cream you promised," Akane commented as Haruka drove through Tokyo.

Michiru raise an eyebrow. "I didn't?"

"You said Haruka would pay," Akane grumbled. "Right, Luna?"

Luna didn't respond, doing her best to stay calm in the car. It helped that Haruka was going the speed limit.

"I don't remember promising that…" Haruka muttered. "Sure, let's go."

"Whoo! Ice cream! Yay!" Akane waved her arms in the air, not caring.

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Yuka and Sayuri sat in a booth, eating ice cream and watching the patrons.

"Four… Four… Five and a half…" Yuka sighed, bored.

Sayuri ate her ice cream, trying to raise her spirits. "The girls must be seeing SOMETHING in these guys… right?"

"Money?" Yuka shrugged. "And not even that much…"

"I wonder if hanging out with the richest people in the area skewed our standards…" Sayuri pondered.

"Probably," Yuka admitted. "Let's see… The most qualified single guys are Kuno… and… um…"

Sayuri frowned. 'That really is it. And despite how rich he is… Ehhh…"

"This really sucks," Yuka mumbled. "Sometimes I think that Akane is right after all… I mean, when I look at our options…"

Sayuri sniffled and ate her ice cream faster. "I will hold out. I'm not-"

That's when Ami walked it with Ranma.

"Wowza!" Yuka's eyes widened.

Blood came out of Sayuri's nose. "Akane is right. I admit it."

Yuka held out her hand, staring at Ranma and Ami.

Sayuri paid her, still staring.

Ami saw them out of the corner of her eye and walked over to their table, Ranma nervously in tow.

"Sayuri, Yuka. Nice to meet you here." Ami smiled. "Sayuri… your nose…"

Sayuri panicked and wiped her nose. "Hi there, Belle-chan… So… *cough* who's your friend?"

Yuka eagerly waited for an answer.

Ami raised her eyebrow. 'I thought Akane would have told them…'

'Crack!' Ranma thought fast. 'I can't tell them I'm me. They would make fun of me for sure!'

Before Ami could figure out a way to explain, Ranma introduced herself.

"Kotetsu Saotome." Ranma did her best to bow in the most feminine looking way and smile. "Pleased to meet you."

Ami sweatdropped. 'Really?'

Sayuri squeed. "Steel Rice-Planting Girl! So cool!"

"Really?!" Yuka had stars for eyes. "You don't happen to have a katana by any chance, right!? Please? It'll be perfect!"

'Wow… I just came up with it because it was the only name I could think of… Thanks, Dr. Tofu, for having that manga in your office where I could see it!' Ranma smiled. "Unfortunately, no…"

Ami pinched her nose, head down. "May we sit here?"

"YES!" Sayuri's eyes became greater-than and less-than signs. "I mean… sure…"

Ranma and Ami sat on the other side of the booth from Yuka and Sayuri.

'Even the girls like me… Pops was right, being a hot girl is easy!' Ranma smiled. "Oh, thank you SO much!"

"No, thank you!" Sayuri replied.

"I wonder what this will taste like…" Ranma wondered aloud, staring at a spoonful of ice cream.

"Well, this place likes getting their stuff from Switzerland…" Yuka informed.

"So ice cream is from Switzerland?" Ranma wondered. "The more you know…"

"Yes, indeed…" Sayuri sighed, a giant smile on her face.

Ami managed to smile. 'Oh well, at least Ranma is enjoying himself… Even if this will blow up in his face.'

Ranma was just about to take a bite when…

*Swooosh!*

*Ding-a-ling*

"Whoo! Ice cream!" Akane bounced in, giddy with excitement.

'Oh, no!' all four girls in the booth thought at once, if for different reasons.

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"Here we are," Haruka stated the obvious as she parked her car.

"Whoohoo!" Akane got out of the car. "Ice cream, Animal Advisor Luna! Yay!"

Luna managed to smile, a very tiny smile as she got onto Akane's head to take a catnap.

Michiru smiled. "Thank you for doing this, 'Ruka."

"Not a problem." Haruka got out of the car and opened Michiru's door.

The youngest Tendo entered the ice cream shop gleefully.

"Whoo! Ice cream!" Akane bounced in, giddy with excitement.

"Hello, Akane!" The manager was elated to see her. "What will you be having today?"

Akane closed her eyes halfway and cat smiled as she looked up the items on the menu. "_Staaaarrrrrrre_…"

Michiru came in with Haruka and stood behind Akane.

"Ultra-mega-super strawberry covered in chocolate!" Akane laughed. "With a cherry on top… an intact cherry!"

Haruka chuckled at that.

Michiru rolled her eyes.

The manager nodded. "Sure thing."

Akane giggled excessively as she waited and gazed around the place. 'They fixed the wall. Redecorated too… and… Ranma is here with Ami and my friends… Wait a second… WHAT?!'

The manager gave her the ice cream and Akane took it before walking over to the four girls in the booth.

'Shoot, Akane will blow my cover!' Ranma feared.

Ami sighed. 'I was right... again, this will blow up in Ranma's face.'

'No! NooOoo… No fair, Akane! We haven't even spent five minutes with her!' Sayuri cried to herself.

Yuka bit her lip. 'Now Akane will get her all to herself. Wait… That would leave Ranma open… HOLD ON! Saotome… Now that I think about it… DAMMIT!'

"Hi, people!" Akane greeted. "Nice to see you here."

"It's not fair…" Yuka openly sobbed. "It's not fair…"

The other four girls stared at Yuka, surprised.

"Just when we see a girl that is… is like that… she's already taken. Why?! Whahaha…" Yuka's head hit the table.

Sayuri sniffled. "Yuka?"

"Just kiss Akane already, Ranma, at least that way it won't suck so much," Yuka sobbed.

"…" Ranma's jaw dropped.

"…" Ami's eyes widened.

"…" Sayuri couldn't believe her ears.

"Zzz…" Luna slept.

"I accept." Akane smiled. "Only if you're into it, that is…"

"Ak-Akane!" Ranma stuttered. "But we… I… We're both girls!"

"And your point is?" Akane raised an eyebrow. "If you don't wanna, just say so, jeez… Try to cheer up a friend and end up with a ton of problems…"

"But… but how?!" Sayuri looked under the table. "I… She… Girl? Magic. Got it."

Akane got into the booth next to Ranma. "Well, you gonna eat it or what? It's really good!"

With that, Akane started eating neatly.

Ami shook her head and resumed eating as well.

Ranma looked on in disbelief at those around her. "You girls… don't think I'm less of a man if I eat this… do you?"

Yuka looked up. "Just eat it, you coward."

"FINE!" Ranma growled. "I WILL!"

The redhead put the spoon in her mouth…

The other four stared at her.

"Ka!" Ranma smiled, a giggle escaping. "It's good!"

Everyone then continued with the ice cream eating, all happy.

Meanwhile, Haruka and Michiru shared a sundae romantically in the corner, feeding each other.

"Yu know…" Sayuri wiped her eyes. "Despite what happened… things turned out alright at the end. Right, Yuka?"

Yuka nodded, still crying but eating ice cream to cover it up. "If only I could find love…"

"If only…" Sayuri sighed.

Ranma shook her head. "Nah. In my experience, love finds YOU… too much. Don't go looking for it, believe me."

"Yeah, right…" Yuka scoffed.

*BOOM*

Everyone in the restaurant turned towards the wall, the wall with a new hole in it.

^I've finally found you, Ranma…^ Shampoo glared, wielding two colorful maces.

"Told ya," Ranma deadpanned.

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**Author's notes:** WOW! So long! Noy thanks everyone so far, please support this and other fics by making entries on the fanfic wiki. Please?! I'm just a Text… just a supportive Text! Until next time!


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